[heretherebedork]

How many times has a drunk Kawi kissed Piseang in the past decade of their lives? How many times has he accepted the gift on the anniversary of the confession after another drunk kiss that gives him an out, another chance to not act and another chance to hurt Piseang with the spark of hope he can't get past. How many times has Max witnessed Piseang's heart break again and again to the point that he doesn't know what else to do? How many times has Kawi gotten drunk just to kiss Piseang only to deny it all the morning after before drowning himself in more alcohol to make that part of his world keep turning?

(How many times has Max comforted Piseang, been a rock for him, been the one person who understands him and understands Kawi and how many times has he tried to apologize for Kawi only to know he can't?)

[djeterg19]

A thing I will never get tired of is a bickering couple... especially combined with them trying to take care of the other during the bickering

And then of course their eyes meet and they have a little moment

And then Rain shows up and they act guilty?

[myshipshipsitself]

Ok no but actually

The Suspicion in Rain’s eyes tho

[heretherebedork]

He was already the tiredest gay in their university, imagine how tired he is in his thirties? This poor man. He needs coffee and a boyfriend, stat.

Seriously. Max deserves the entire world for still being beside Kawi during all of this and still fully supporting him and his choices and trying to help him be the best he can be. He is the truest, best friend anyone could ask for and he deserves to be tired.

Max x a goddamn break and a nap 2023

[myshipshipsitself]

Ok so I’ve seen the RamKing cut of My Engineer, but I decided to start the full series today, and damn I feel like I missed out on a lot. In the first two episodes, Ram was ready to beat tf outta Bohn to protect Duen, and I’m living for it! We don’t get that side of Ram in the edited down version with just him and King.

Also I’m in love with Mek and Boss…. Mostly Mek. I just want him to be happy. Why do I always fall for the side ships

[myshipshipsitself]

WAIT RAM AND BOHN ACTUALLY FIGHT?! Ok I fucking love this. Ram is such a good Protective Bestie!! I’m so glad I decided to watch the full show just for this. Also for like two seconds I was offended that King didn’t care that Bohn was fighting Ram, then he said that Ram was basically a professional boxer, so now it makes sense why he’s not even worried about his bf getting hurt lol.

[myshipshipsitself]

Another update on my full My Engineer watch through that no one asked for. When I watched just the RamKing edit the first time, I thought King fell first. I always find it interesting, the ‘one person fell first but the other person fell harder.’ Pretty much is always true in BLs and I love it. The first time watching, I thought it was an anomaly. That King fell first and also fell hardest (thought the second one might change if s2 happened, but it didn’t.) But now rewatching the greenhouse scene in ep 10, Ram definitely fell first. It’s in his eyes. And it’s such perfection. Damn. I love them. Ram fell first, King fell harder. I adore them. 

Could do without the main couple tbh. They spent so much time obsessing over ‘you’re the wife, I’m the husband!’ bullshit. Like? There is no wife. That’s the entire point. I’m glad more recent BLs are getting away from that trope, and some like Bad Buddy, even actively making fun of it. Lbr, it’s not a great look. I‘ll allow the wife/hubby dynamic for MekBoss only because it was an inside joke that exists outside of them being a couple. It’s not a toxic thing for them. It is 100% a toxic thing for BohnDuen. Also I could go ON about when Bohn was so worried what happened when he was drunk and couldn’t remember Duen taking him home, and genuinely believed Duen had assaulted him, and was reluctantly fine with it and said if it had happened he would just accept it as long as they could be together? I can’t. I thought they were cute at the beginning, but tbh I’m very much over them. Hard pass. I’ll take the side ships, though.

[myshipshipsitself]

I genuinely thought MekBoss was gonna be an Unrequited Love trope and I was fully prepared for it, BUT IT’S NOT?! IDK HOW TO HANDLE THIS NOW! AAAAHHHHHHH 

[myshipshipsitself]

Ok so I’ve seen the RamKing cut of My Engineer, but I decided to start the full series today, and damn I feel like I missed out on a lot. In the first two episodes, Ram was ready to beat tf outta Bohn to protect Duen, and I’m living for it! We don’t get that side of Ram in the edited down version with just him and King.

Also I’m in love with Mek and Boss…. Mostly Mek. I just want him to be happy. Why do I always fall for the side ships

[myshipshipsitself]

WAIT RAM AND BOHN ACTUALLY FIGHT?! Ok I fucking love this. Ram is such a good Protective Bestie!! I’m so glad I decided to watch the full show just for this. Also for like two seconds I was offended that King didn’t care that Bohn was fighting Ram, then he said that Ram was basically a professional boxer, so now it makes sense why he’s not even worried about his bf getting hurt lol.

[myshipshipsitself]

Another update on my full My Engineer watch through that no one asked for. When I watched just the RamKing edit the first time, I thought King fell first. I always find it interesting, the ‘one person fell first but the other person fell harder.’ Pretty much is always true in BLs and I love it. The first time watching, I thought it was an anomaly. That King fell first and also fell hardest (thought the second one might change if s2 happened, but it didn’t.) But now rewatching the greenhouse scene in ep 10, Ram definitely fell first. It’s in his eyes. And it’s such perfection. Damn. I love them. Ram fell first, King fell harder. I adore them. 

Could do without the main couple tbh. They spent so much time obsessing over ‘you’re the wife, I’m the husband!’ bullshit. Like? There is no wife. That’s the entire point. I’m glad more recent BLs are getting away from that trope, and some like Bad Buddy, even actively making fun of it. Lbr, it’s not a great look. I‘ll allow the wife/hubby dynamic for MekBoss only because it was an inside joke that exists outside of them being a couple. It’s not a toxic thing for them. It is 100% a toxic thing for BohnDuen. Also I could go ON about when Bohn was so worried what happened when he was drunk and couldn’t remember Duen taking him home, and genuinely believed Duen had assaulted him, and was reluctantly fine with it and said if it had happened he would just accept it as long as they could be together? I can’t. I thought they were cute at the beginning, but tbh I’m very much over them. Hard pass. I’ll take the side ships, though.

[myshipshipsitself]

Ok so I’ve seen the RamKing cut of My Engineer, but I decided to start the full series today, and damn I feel like I missed out on a lot. In the first two episodes, Ram was ready to beat tf outta Bohn to protect Duen, and I’m living for it! We don’t get that side of Ram in the edited down version with just him and King.

Also I’m in love with Mek and Boss…. Mostly Mek. I just want him to be happy. Why do I always fall for the side ships

[myshipshipsitself]

WAIT RAM AND BOHN ACTUALLY FIGHT?! Ok I fucking love this. Ram is such a good Protective Bestie!! I’m so glad I decided to watch the full show just for this. Also for like two seconds I was offended that King didn’t care that Bohn was fighting Ram, then he said that Ram was basically a professional boxer, so now it makes sense why he’s not even worried about his bf getting hurt lol.

[quodekash]

my engineer incorrect quotes to try and fill the ramking shaped hole in my heart

—- —-

King: Hey Ram, can you give me the opposite of these words? King: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Ram: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Ram: The fucking satisfaction. 

(this happened. this was the scene near the start where king texts ram and waves to him and tries to talk to him and ram picks up his phone and leaves to go see his brother. king loves rickrolling and thats canon because i said so)  —- —-

Duen: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Ram: Why not? Duen: Because I don’t know what they mean. 

—- —-

King: Hey, what’s your Netflix password? Ram: ihopeyoudie King: Thank you!

—- —-

Duen: I drink to forget but I always remember. Ting: You’re drinking orange juice. 

—- —-

King: Ow! Ram: What’s wrong? King: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. Ram: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

—- —-

Thara, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like. 

—- —-

Ram: If I die, you can have what little I own. King: Wait. What do you mean “if” you die? Ram: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full. King: King: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again. 

—- —-

Ram: Hey, you want a tarot reading? Bohn: Those are Pokemon cards. Ram: You got a magikarp. Bohn: … Ram: It means ‘fuck you’. 

(this is essentially what happened for like. half the show. up until the end of the fight between bohn and ram) —- —-

Ram, after watching King get shot by someone: You’re dead. You are very dead. When you are a corpse I will hack away at your flesh and eat you raw. King: Ram, I’m not dead yet. Ram: Let me have my moment of rage to avenge you. King: I’d prefer it if you didn’t let me die. 

—- —-

*Everyone is giving advice to Duen* Ting: It’s okay to ask for help. Tang: You’re not a burden. Ram: Murder is okay. Phu: Your feelings matter. 

—- —-

King: Are you sure Ram’s even gay? He barely even looked at me. 

—- —-

Duen: All snacks are gone. Bohn: I AM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE?! 

—- —-

Ram: You’re drunk. King: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Ram. 

—- —-

Mek: Have I ever told you that you cook well? Boss: Awww, no, you haven’t! Mek: So why do you keep cooking? 

—- —- Ram: You’re giving me a sticker? King: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” Ram: I’m not a preschooler. King: Fine, I’ll take it back- Ram: I earned this, back off! 

—- —- King: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes? Ram: For the dogs. King: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs? Ram: They don’t know how. 

—- —-

this one is fairly short compared to my other incorrect quote compilations, but i promise, i will be back. 

also im planning to post another eclipse incorrect quotes post in like five minutes 

[myshipshipsitself]

Ok so I’ve seen the RamKing cut of My Engineer, but I decided to start the full series today, and damn I feel like I missed out on a lot. In the first two episodes, Ram was ready to beat tf outta Bohn to protect Duen, and I’m living for it! We don’t get that side of Ram in the edited down version with just him and King.

Also I’m in love with Mek and Boss.... Mostly Mek. I just want him to be happy. Why do I always fall for the side ships

[gunsatthaphan]

#done with ur str8 bs.

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

just max being icon this episode

[heretherebedork]

Max is just this tired queer man who has adopted a baby queer under his wing and is doing his best to be patient and understanding while also trying to live his life.

(Him slinging the 'are we already friends?' at Piseang the same way Kawi did but so differently, with a different meaning and a different reaction, you can see the friendships that were and are and how they came to be, the slow ones and the fast ones, the compassion that brings and brought them together.)

The amount I ship Piseang and Max is absurd. I love them. I love both of them, these compassionate men who have somehow found it in themselves to willingly be friends with Kawi despite him being himself at them all the time.

I love these compassionate characters who show they care and are open about caring and don't hesitate to call people they care about out on what they say and do. Neither Piseang nor Max apologizes for when they care or how they care, they simply care and continue to care.

[myshipshipsitself]

“these compassionate men who have somehow found it in themselves to willingly be friends with Kawi despite him being himself at them“

[seatawinan]

[myshipshipsitself]

If Only for a Moment || A Be My Favorite Fanfic

Title: If Only for a Moment Rating: G Pairing(s): Pisaeng/Max, Kawi/Pear, Kawi/Pisaeng (pre-relationship) Themes: Angst, no happy ending, unrequited love, Max taking care of the baby gays, Max is a good friend and deserves better tbh Summary: In which Max develops an unfortunate crush that he knows can't go anywhere. But life's all about living in the moment, right? Read on Ao3 here

“Let me be your gay Obi-Wan,” the words left Max’s lips without much thought. The colored lights of the bar flashed around them, and he had to speak louder and closer than normal to be heard. He was teasing, just looking to get a laugh. It was successful. Pisaeng laughed and elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

“If you can’t teach me to wield a lightsaber, you’re fired as my gay Obi-Wan,” Pisaeng said. Max pressed his lips together, just watching the other until he understood the unintentional innuendo. Pisaeng looked back at him, bright smile still on his lips. “What?” Max only quirked an eyebrow, smile slowly curling into a smirk.

He saw the moment it clicked. Pisaeng’s face turned bright red, his smile fell and he turned quickly away from Max. “Don’t—Forget I said that,” Pisaeng said. Max could hear the barely repressed laughter in his voice as he spoke. “I swear, if you make that joke, I’m walking out of here and never speaking to you again.”

“You said it, not me,” Max pointed out. He laughed and wrapped an arm around Pisaeng’s shoulders, tugging him along through the crowd. “Come on, I want to introduce you to Candy.” Candy was a drag queen that Max had met one of his first visits to the bar, and who had taken him under their wing. Candy would love Pisaeng, Max already knew that.

Max wasn’t really thinking much past trying to help Pisaeng get more comfortable in his own skin. Wasn’t thinking about his own thoughts or feelings. Not at first.

Then Pisaeng turned to look at him with a blinding, intoxicating smile, and Max knew he’d made a mistake.

The full weight of his mistake hit him a few days later, when Kawi waved him over to sit with them for lunch. He smiled, nodding at Pear and Kawi before sitting in the open seat beside Pisaeng.

“Finally, someone who’s on my side,” Pisaeng said, narrowing his eyes accusingly at Kawi. He wasn’t angry, not really. His expression was amused and exaggerated for the purpose of some joke Max wasn’t in on. He wasn’t going to dwell too much on how much he’d been paying attention to Pisaeng’s expressions that he could start to tell them apart.

It didn’t matter anyway, because no matter how many smiles and laughs he aimed at Max, they were nothing compared to the way he saw Pisaeng look at Kawi.

“He’s not on your side!” Kawi protested. “He’s my best friend.” Max smiled. At least some things were still right with the world.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but he’s right,” Max jumped in, pointing at Kawi. He raised his eyebrows expectantly at Pisaeng. “You’re very confident for someone who’s side I’m definitely not on,” he teased. Pear laughed behind her hand, but didn’t comment, just watching the verbal sparring match.

“You’ve been stuck as the third wheel with these two as many times as I have, right?” Pisaeng asked, in a tone just as confident.

“I generally avoid third-wheeling,” Max said.

“That’s what I’m trying to do,” Pisaeng said.

“Great, glad I could settle that,” Max said, not entirely sure what the disagreement had even been over. He opened his juice and took a drink.

“You can settle it by going out with me tonight,” Pisaeng said. Max choked on his drink.

“Sorry, what?”

“Us,” Pisaeng quickly amended. His face was turning as red as it had in the bar the other night. “Go out with us tonight.” Max stayed silent, eyes scanning around the table. Kawi was no longer smiling like he was in on the joke. He was staring at Pisaeng, a look of hurt and confusion painting his features, until he noticed Max watching him, then his eyes dropped to his plate.

“Where?” Max asked, because it seemed like the easier way to get the most information that he was missing. He looked back towards Pisaeng’s flushed cheeks and slight, hopeful smile.

This was a horrible idea.

“A club,” Pear answered. “I want to go dancing, but Kawi is nervous—“

“I’m not!”

“—So he wanted Pisaeng to join us.”

“And I don’t want to just be standing around by myself with no one to dance with,” Pisaeng finished. The soft smile, flushed cheeks and warm eyes were making quick work of what little resolve Max had remaining.

This was a monumentally horrible idea.

“So will you go with us?” Pisaeng asked. He said ‘us’ that time, but Max could still hear the ‘me’ unspoken. Max’s eyes slid back across the table to Kawi. He was grumpily poking at his rice bowl.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he said carefully, turning back to Pisaeng. The smile fell, and that felt like a crime punishable by death. Max wondered who would be the one to arrest him—Probably Kawi.

“Come on,” Pisaeng tried again, this time reaching for Max’s wrist, holding his hand gently between his own. The smile that returned was a sad, pleading one. Max knew he would give in before Pisaeng finished his plea. His voice was quiet when he continued, and Max wondered if Kawi and Pear were supposed to hear, but there was no way they wouldn’t. “You’re supposed to be my gay Obi-Wan, right? Doesn’t that include teaching me how to be out and proud in a place that’s not the local gay bar?”

Max huffed out a breath, exaggerating the thought he put into his answer, though he already knew it. “I guess it does,” he relented. Pisaeng’s bright smile returned, and one would think everything was right with the world.

Except for the sharp pang in Max’s chest. Except for the way Kawi didn’t look up from his food. Except for Pear’s gentle nudges against Kawi’s shoulder trying to get his attention.

Except for the fact that Max knew the smiles Pisaeng offered him, while bright enough to light the Sun, weren’t anywhere near the ones reserved for Kawi. He tried not to care. He wanted to be a good friend. But it was becoming harder and harder.

—————

Max leaned against the bathroom counter, staring at eyes that watched him back in the mirror. He could do this. He could absolutely do this.

Just because Pisaeng was getting over a crush on Max’s best friend didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to go out and dance with him. He was helping. Kawi was going out with Pear, and Max would be a bad friend if he stood Pisaeng up and let him just spend the evening having to watch Kawi and Pear together from the corner.

So why did he somehow feel like an even worse friend for agreeing to go out with him? Kawi had told Max himself that he didn’t like Pisaeng. His eyes didn’t say the same as his words, but that was Kawi’s problem, not Max’s.

And just because Pisaeng still looked at Kawi like he hung the moon and stars didn’t mean that Max standing him up would make that go away. Even if Pisaeng was just using him to get over Kawi, that was fine, right?

Max knew this wouldn’t be anything. Not really. It couldn’t be. Not with the way Pisaeng was still pining over Kawi. He was just being a good friend. Showing Pisaeng that falling for a(n alleged) straight friend was a bad idea, and that just because he lost out on his first crush, didn’t mean he wasn’t worthy of finding a new guy that would fall for him. Hell, it wouldn’t be hard for Pisaeng to find any guy he wanted to fall for him.

Shaking his head, Max touched up the light eyeliner he’d put on and left.

The three were waiting outside the club when Max made it there. His eyes immediately found Pisaeng, and he was met with a bright, warm smile.

He shouldn’t be there. He somehow knew it in his gut. It felt like a future had already been written, and he wasn’t in it. But he was here, whether he was supposed to be or not.

Max put on a smile and joined them, his body moving instinctively without his input as they shuffled towards the door, showed their IDs and got drinks at the bar.

The first drink started to quiet the voice in his head. The second drowned it. The third allowed him to smile and laugh with Pisaeng after Kawi and Pear had left them in favor of the dance floor two drinks ago. When Pisaeng reached for his hand, Max squeezed it in his own, and let himself be pulled to the dance floor.

It was freeing, and amazing and beautiful. Or maybe that was the man in front of him. Pisaeng leaned forward to say something in his ear. He was pretty sure it was a commentary on the DJ, but he couldn’t be sure. All Max could register was warm breath against his skin, and a hand burning his waist through the thin fabric of his shirt. Pisaeng started to pull away, and Max’s hands found their way to his shoulders, keeping him close as they danced.

Fuck the future, fuck Kawi’s glass closet, and fuck the way Pisaeng looked at him the way he would never look at Max.

He was smiling at Max now, not looking around at Kawi or anyone else, and that was enough. It had to be enough.

Tomorrow was tomorrow’s problem. And the future was the future’s problem. Right now belonged to Max, and he was holding onto it for all he was worth.

“Max,” Pisaeng said, his voice close, his breath warm.

“Hmm?” Max answered. His eyes had fallen shut at some point as they danced. He opened them to see Pisaeng’s warm eyes barely a few inches in front of him. Pisaeng’s eyes dropped, and Max’s did as well. He watched Pisaeng’s tongue shoot out to lick his lips nervously.

His eyes moved back up the Pisaeng’s again. Max was drunk, but he wasn’t drunk enough to make the first move. It wasn’t his to make.

He didn’t need to, though. He felt Pisaeng’s hand slide from his waist around his back, tugging him closer. There was a warm, hesitant puff of air against his lips, then his eyes fell shut, and Pisaeng closed the small distance between them.

Max kissed back without a moment of the hesitation that he knew should be there. His hands moved from Pisaeng’s shoulders to cradle his face between his palms, fingers sliding back into his hair as their lips moved together.

“Kawi!” Pear’s sharp voice broke through the white noise around them, and they broke apart, both looking around for their friends. Pear was rushing after a retreating Kawi towards the door.

Max took a deep breath before daring to look back at Pisaeng. Hs heart dropped into his stomach. Pisaeng looked about how Max expected.

Heartbroken. Guilty. Regretful. Staring through the crowd towards where Kawi and Pear had disappeared. Max put a small amount of distance between them for his own sanity, before dropping a hand to Pisaeng’s arm and squeezing it gently.

Pisaeng looked at him, eyes wide and uncertain, as though not knowing how he got there. The music was still loud, and people were crowding too close, so Max just nodded towards the door their friends had disappeared out. Pisaeng nodded, but didn’t move. Max wasn’t sure if he could.

Max’s hand gripped Pisaeng’s arm and tugged him towards the door, weaving between people as they went.

By the time they got outside, Pear was standing alone, shivering in the wind and her short sleeve dress.

“Where’s Kawi?” Max asked.

Pear turned around, and Max could see the tears that had been streaming down her face. He reached out to pull her into his arms, and she curled against his shoulder. “I don’t know,” she mumbled against his shoulder. “We just—We were dancing, and everything was fine, then he just—I don’t know. He just got this look on his face, and he left. He didn’t even—He didn’t say anything. And when I got outside he was already getting into a cab.”

“Alright, I’ll go talk to him, okay?” Max said, pulling back to look her in the face. He offered a comforting smile as she nodded, and he leaned forward to press a kiss against her forehead. “It’ll be alright.” He looked over her shoulder at Pisaeng, who looked like he was debating throwing himself into oncoming traffic. Max could only deal with one breakdown at a time, though. “Pisaeng,” he said, drawing the other man’s attention. He looked sharply around at his name being called, then his eyes dropped, unable to even look Max in the eye. He wasn’t gong to focus on how much that hurt. He couldn’t. “Can you make sure Pear gets home safe?”

“Yeah,” Pisaeng said. “Where are you going?” He asked, eyes set on Max’s shoes.

“I’m going to talk to Kawi,” Max answered.

“Maybe I should—“

“No,” Max said. He wasn’t going to say in front of Pear that Kawi needed the only one of them he wasn’t romantically interested in to talk some sense into him, but he hoped Pisaeng understood. “I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, just get Pear home.”

Pisaeng nodded and took his jacket off, wrapping it around Pear’s shoulders. Something painful and cold twisted in Max’s chest at the sight, but he looked away, hailing a cab coming towards them.

Max helped Pear into the back of the cab, but stopped before getting in himself. “Max, I—“

“I know,” Max cut him off, maybe too sharply, but he couldn’t bear to hear it. He didn’t want Pisaeng to apologize for kissing him, or for asking him to the club. He didn’t think he could take it if Pisaeng said any of it was a mistake. It was. He knew it was, but if he heard Pisaeng say it, he knew that’s all he would be able to hear in his nightmares for the foreseeable future. “I know,” he said again, more gently this time. He offered a sad smile, and reached out to squeeze Pisaeng’s arm. “It’s okay.”

“Thank you,” Pisaeng said, and maybe that was worse.

Once the cab had pulled away, he waved for another one and gave the driver Kawi’s address.

In all honestly, he didn’t expect Kawi to let him in. He really didn’t. He expected to be stuck out in the cold for an hour, then to give up, go home, and try again the next day. But Kawi let him in, and then proceeded back to where it appeared he’d been before Max arrived— collapsed on the couch and crying into a pillow.

Max went to the kitchen first and filled two glasses of water before joining Kawi. He sat on the floor in front of Kawi and placed the glasses of water on the table.

He did say anything, just waiting, letting Kawi cry out as many tears as he needed to. The sharp, cold thing twisted in Max’s chest again. How had he managed to hurt two people he cared so much about in one night? In the span of about thirty seconds, if he was being precise.

“I’m sorry.” The words didn’t come from Max, and he had to watch Kawi’s face closely, replay through his own drunken memory the last minute, to be certain.

“I think that’s my line,” Max said, doing his best to add a teasing lilt to his tone. He failed, but he’d tried.

Kawi shook his head, swiping his hands roughly over his cheeks. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out and stormed off like that,” Kawi said.

“Yeah, well I shouldn’t have kissed the guy you like,” Max answered. Kawi’s eyes went wide, and Max could see his mind scrambling for excuses. “Don’t. I know. I’m not blind. But you really should tell Pear. If you like them both, that’s fine, but be honest with them both.”

“I don’t—“ Kawi started, then broke off. “I’m not…”

“You don’t have to be anything,” Max said. “It’s fine that you like him. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I know,” Kawi said. Max’s eyebrows shot up. That was an improvement. “But I still shouldn’t have done that. I’m dating Pear. I don’t—I can’t be jealous if Pisaeng likes—if he likes someone else. If he likes you.” Max started to interrupt, but Kawi waved a hand to stop him. “I missed my chance. You can be with him. I won’t get in the way.”

Max was silent for a long, frustrated minute. “I’ve never understood that noble bullshit in romantic movies,” he finally said. Kawi just stared at him in confusion. “The whole, ‘We both like the same person but I’ll be the better person and stand aside so you can be with them.’ Aside from the fact that it’s almost always a woman, and I won’t get into the nature of that trope treating women like property, but I’m sure you get the point—There’s also the fact that it’s not our decision alone. You get that, right?”

Kawi only stared blankly at him. “I’m not following.”

Max groaned and reach out to shake whatever parts of Kawi he could reach, which were his knees and shins. “It doesn’t matter if you want to be some noble hero or whatever bullshit, and stand aside so I can be with Pisaeng. I’m not the one he likes.” He let the silence linger for a minute, hoping it would sink it. “Do you get it? Pisaeng asked me out because he’s trying to get over you. Because you turned him down. I know I never had a chance with him. And even if you tell him a hundred times over that you don't return his feelings, I still won’t have a shot.”

The gravity of his words hit them both at the same time. Kawi stared at his hands, registering everything Max had said. Max pulled his knees to his chest and leaned his head against his knees, trying to even out his breaths, trying to stop that tears that burned the inside of his eyelids. His arms tightened around his legs, as if trying to physically stop his body from shaking so badly it felt like he would break apart into shattered pieces.

He never had a chance. He knew that. Every time he heard Pisaeng talk about Kawi. Every time he saw the way Pisaeng looked at Kawi. Even after Kawi had said he didn’t return Pisaeng’s feelings. Pisaeng didn’t look at him any differently. And Max knew that. He’d known that from the beginning. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, but here they were, and everyone hurt because of it.

“I’m sorry,” Kawi said again, and this time, the tears fell down Max’s cheeks, because he could hear it in Kawi’s voice. He knew this time what he was sorry for, and it wasn’t his own stupid actions. It was regret at his best friend’s pain, and Max didn’t want Kawi to see that, but he couldn’t stop it either.

Max felt arms encircle him, knees dropping to the floor in front of him as Kawi pulled him against his chest.

It felt like an hour, but he was pretty sure it had only been a few minutes, when Max caught his breath again and pulled away, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “Just stop hurting him, alright?” He asked quietly. “Whether that’s admitting your feelings, or cutting him loose, just please stop hurting him, alright?” He felt Kawi nod against his shoulder.

“Want to crash here tonight?” Kawi asked. Max felt himself nod, and Kawi started moving around, throwing blankets and pillows onto the couch from the hall closet. Max took another minute, swiping his hands over his face and catching his breath before he moved.

He’d known it was a mistake. All of it. Somehow, he still couldn’t even bring himself to regret it. Somehow he felt t in his core, like the future was already written somehow, and he knew that when it came to Pisaeng, he didn’t have a place in it. Still. He had a moment. The future would be the future’s problem, but he had a moment, and as much as hit hurt when the moment ended, he couldn’t be upset that he’d had it.

[respectthepetty]

We all know Kawi and Pisaeng are end game, but . . .

Don't react immediately.

Think about it.

Roll around with it a bit.

Let it touch your lips.

Taste a little of it.

We should allow the straights to have their win in a BL for once.

So we can have this:

It tastes good, right?

[myshipshipsitself]

What You Wish For || A Be My Favorite Fanfic

Title: What You Wish For Rating: G Pairing(s): Kawi/Pisaeng (pre-relationship), Kawi/Pear (mentioned), Max/Pisaeng Character(s): Kawi, Max, Pisaeng A/N: It’s angsty, y’all. Idk how I got here, but now I fear I’m doomed.  Summary: Kawi took a glimpse into the future, and got everything he wished for. But what if he wished wrong? Read on Ao3 here

One peek into the future couldn’t hurt, right? Everything was perfect. Max was talking to him again, his dad was going to the doctor and getting his treatments, and best of all, Pear was leaning more and more into him every day.

Sure, they weren’t officially dating or anything, but close enough that Kawi was pretty confident on what he would see when he went back to the future.

That’s what he convinced himself of anyway, when he twisted the engraved wood, watched the glass bulb on top shine with a bright light, and found himself in the same chair, surrounded by the same room.

Except it wasn’t all the same. The first thing he did was shuffle around the desk looking for the wedding invitation.

It wasn’t there.

Why wasn’t it there?

Kawi shoved papers aside, looking at every one of them and discarding them to the floor. He dug through desk drawers, flung open the closet doors and dropped to the floor to look under the bed.

“What the hell are you doing?” An angry voice made Kawi’s head shot up. The sharp movement threw him off balance, and he landed on his back with a heavy thud.

“What are you doing here?” Kawi asked. Max groaned out an annoyed breath and reached down, grabbing Kawi by the arm and pulling so hard Kawi was certain his arm would be ripped from its socket. “Ow!”

“What kind of best man would I be if I let you be late to your own wedding?” Max asked, none too gently. “The hell are you still doing here anyway? You were supposed to be at the beach an hour ago.”

“I was just—um—wait, best man?” Too many things were happening too quickly, and Kawi’s brain was trying to catch up. His wedding—Max was his best man—Did that mean—

“i was just as shocked.” Kawi looked back towards the doorway, where Pisaeng was leaning against the doorframe, shaking his head at the pair with a slight smirk on his face. Pisaeng broke eye contact and looked towards Max. “See? He meant to ask me to be his best man. Sorry for the mix-up. I’ll take over as—“

“Like hell you will,” Max said, though there was no coldness to his tone despite the words. It was almost teasing, softer than his frustration at Kawi. He turned back to Kawi, but his gaze dropped and he huffed out another frustrated breath. “You’re hopeless,” he said, crouching down and picking up something kawi had knocked from the desk in his panic to find the wedding invitation. Kawi’s eyes locked onto the small velvet box.

“Is that—“

“Pear’s ring,” Max said. He shook his head, then tucked the box into his own pocket. “I’ll hold onto this. Make sure it actually gets to the wedding. Now come on, we’re going to be late.”

“Um, can you just—I’ll meet you outside. I just need—um,” Kawi’s eyes cast around the room for any distraction, any momentary thing he could grasp at to convince his friends to give him just a minute to catch his breath. His eyes latched onto the partially open bathroom door. “Bathroom. I just need to use the bathroom, then I’ll be out.”

“Fine, but hurry,” Max said. He crossed his arms, leaning back against the desk.

Pisaeng laughed, then stepped inside, grabbing Max’s arm and tugging him towards the door. “We’ll wait out by the car,” he offered, and Kawi couldn’t have been more grateful. Pisaeng definitely should’ve been his best man.

Kawi went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, but waited until he heard the outside door shut before he let himself take a breath.

He did it. He really, truly fixed it. It wasn’t Pisaeng and Pear’s wedding anymore. He wasn’t a bystander, and he wasn’t Pisaeng’s best man.

He was the groom. He was Pear’s fiancee. Soon to be her husband.

Kawi leaned over the sink, splashing water on his face, then looked in the mirror.

The face looking back at him didn’t smile. The eyes looking into his didn’t shine with pride or excitement. He was tired. And something just felt…. Off. He couldn’t place how, or why.

But it didn’t matter. Because he’d fixed everything he’d meant to. His father would be at the wedding, his best friend was his best man, even Pisaeng was still a part of his life, and he was marrying Pear.

Everything was perfect.

Even so, when he stepped out of the bathroom, his eyes went back to the desk. To the old antique trinket that had started the entire thing. That had given him everything he wanted.

So why was there a pain in his chest? Why did it feel tight, and uncertain?

Kawi shook his head. He was just nervous. That was all. He was now marrying someone that, while apparently he’d somehow had an entire relationship with her, he couldn’t remember anything since the day he’d left the past. That’s all. He was just nervous about seeing her again, about having to fill in all the gaps, and learn what he’d missed.

He took a deep breath, and left.

To go to his wedding.

Even thinking about it was surreal. Everything was surreal.

But it would be ok, because he had his two closest friends in the world by his side, and that would make everything easier to deal with.

Kawi finally felt a smile pulling at his lips as he stepped out of the building, eyes scanning the parking lot for Max and Pisaeng. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw them, but only for a moment.

Max was leaning against the side of a black car, smiling as he said something Kawi couldn’t hear. Pisaeng was beside him, turned to face Max, with his forearm against the roof of the car. He laughed at something, shaking his head at Max. Before Kawi could register what he was seeing, Max’s hand was on Pisaeng’s jaw, and he leaned in to kiss him.

It was brief. So quick that if Kawi had blinked at the right moment, he would’ve missed it. But he hadn’t. And he felt his stomach drop to the ground. The tightness in his chest became a vice grip. The colors around him flooded and spun, not unlike how it did when he was traveling between timelines, but he wasn’t. Not this time.

The timelines felt like they bled together, and Kawi wasn’t sure if he was seeing past Max and Pisaeng or present. All he knew was that he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t think.

He didn’t realize his feet had started moving until his back hit the glass door with a loud thunk, and the shaking rattled the windows around the door. Pisaeng and Max turned towards him, and he was going to be sick.

The world still spun, everything was blurry, except for the two men running across the parking lot towards him.

“Kawi?”

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“Come on, we have to go.”

“I can’t, I can’t,” Kawi muttered, over and over. He turned towards the building, pulling at the door desperately, but it wouldn’t open.

“What are you doing? Come on, we’re going to be late,” Max said.

Key card. He needed a key card to get into the building. Where the hell was it? Hands pulled at his shoulders, at his sleeves.

“Come on, you can’t leave Pear waiting at the alter,” Pisaeng’s voice sounded like knives stabbing him, over and over again.

“I have to go back,” Kawi said.

“You can’t go back inside, you’ll be late,” Max said again.

“Have to go—“

“Kawi, we’re not letting you get cold feet and back out,” Pisaeng said.

He didn’t understand. Neither of them understood.

“I fucked it up. I fucked it all up,” Kawi said.

“Fucked what up?” Max asked. “Come on, we don’t have time for this. Pear will forgive you being late, as long as we actually show up.”

“I fucked it up. I fucked it up.”

“Kawi—“

“—fucked it up.”

He had to get back inside. He had to—It was the only way to fix it. He had to go back again.

“Come on.”

“Kawi, calm down. Let’s just go.”

“We’re going to be late.”

“You can’t keep Pear waiting.”

Fucked it up. Fucked it up. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t get inside, couldn’t get away from Pisaeng and Max. Couldn’t marry Pear. Couldn’t go back. Couldn’t—

Kawi’s body dropped to the ground, knees bearing his weight against hot, unforgiving concrete. His head leaned against the warm glass, and tears fell from his eyes. The words of his friends drowned out into a hum of white noise. The only sound he could hear was his own desperate whispers, words he couldn’t stop spilling from his lips if he tried.

“I fucked it up. I fucked it up.”

[gunsatthaphan]

“we may not be close but I can listen.”

[myshipshipsitself]

On the note of comfort ships…. Love them, absolutely with all my heart. Don’t get me wrong. But whyyyyy does every thought now turn into, ‘huh…. That would make a good AU fic.’

…… Anyway, on an unrelated note, a new MorkSun AU fic will probably be showing up from me soon. Only for myself, and the two fans of this ship still keeping it afloat with me.