☆ His gaze was the color of a fox in full sun--that electric copper-orange that has no interest in being subtle and is magnificent for it.
☆ She had bronze eyes and when she smiled they caught the light and I thought of autumn and bells and every warm metallic thing and forgot entirely what I had been trying to say.
☆ His irises were the copper of autumn maples at peak color, that moment when the tree is burning its most beautiful and doesn't know or care that it's about to let go.
☆ His gaze was the color of a copper roof in afternoon light, that particular orange-brown that stops people on the street and makes them look up without knowing why.
☆ His irises were the warm copper of sunlight through autumn leaves. That color that only exists for a few weeks a year and makes everyone suddenly remember to pay attention.
☆ She had bronze-copper eyes and she looked at me like I was a season she had been looking forward to, the specific anticipation of something warm that you've been patient about through a long cold stretch.
☆ She had irises like polished walnut. Brown so deep it almost disappeared into itself, and then the light caught it and showed you everything.
☆ She looked at me and her eyes were the color of good coffee and I decided, right then, that I wanted every morning to start with both.
☆ His eyes were the brown of old books and he looked at me like I was a page he kept returning to.
☆ He had brown eyes that went darker when he was trying not to say something, and I spent half my time around him inventing reasons to make him feel things he couldn't hold back.
☆ He had brown eyes the color of old blood dried on stone. Warm-looking, almost kind, which was the most dangerous thing about them.
☆ She looked at you and her irises were dark as scorched earth and just as empty of regret. Something had burned here. She had watched it burn.
☆ His irises were the exact color of the moon before it rises fully--that dark, burnt-brown horizon glow that arrives before the light does.
“Grief is the emotional reaction to a loss, in this case, to death” (Samuel, 2019, p. xvii), and mourning is the process of adjustment to a world without that person.
The following physical sensations and perceptual experiences often accompany the grieving process (modified from Worden, 2009):
Hollowness in the stomach
Tightness in the throat and chest
Being oversensitive to noise
Feelings of unreality
Shortness of breath
Muscle weakness and lack of energy
Dry mouth
Strong emotions typically occur during grief, including (from Worden, 2009):
Sadness. Failure to acknowledge and embrace sadness can cause more complicated and prolonged grief.
Anger. A common reaction to loss that leads to many issues during the grieving process.
Guilt and self-reproach. Often regarding something that happened or was neglected at the time of death.
Anxiety. Ranging from feelings of insecurity to panic attacks, sometimes associated with fears of being unable to take care of yourself in the absence of the other person.
Loneliness. The loss of a day-to-day relationship can leave someone feeling all alone. Social support can help but does not remove the sense of a broken attachment.
Fatigue. Feelings of apathy and listlessness are not uncommon following the death of a loved one and may limit behavior and activity.
Helplessness. Survivors can be left feeling vulnerable and helpless, especially when they have young children to look after.
Shock. Sudden death, by its very nature, can cause the survivor to experience shock.
Yearning. Yearning or pining for the loved one is a typical reaction to death, and as it reduces, may indicate the mourning process is coming to an end.
Emancipation and relief. It is not uncommon for a survivor to experience a sense of relief, especially where the deceased was oppressive or was suffering a prolonged illness. While a normal response, it may be accompanied by feelings of guilt.
Numbness. While the previous feelings are common, so too is an absence of emotions, at least initially. With so many feelings to experience and manage, the early stages of grief may be overwhelming and result in a protective numbness.
It is important to note that each person’s experience of grief is different, and while the emotions above are typical of loss, they are not exhaustive.
Types of grief can take various forms, including (Elizz by SE Health, 2019; CaringInfo, n.d.; WebMD, n.d.):
Abbreviated grief. A short-lived response to a death, possibly following the experience of prolonged anticipatory grief or something immediately filling the space left by the loss.
Absent grief. The bereaved may not acknowledge or may remain in denial of what has happened. If prolonged, the lack of response can be concerning and require specialist support.
Anticipatory grief. For a caregiver, grief can begin before the person being cared for dies. It may be associated with a sense of losing what they expected life to be like. Such feelings can start with a terminal diagnosis or a worsening state of health.
Chronic grief. A sub-type of complicated grief (see below), left untreated, chronic grief can involve extreme feelings of hopelessness, a sense of disbelief, and a loss of meaning, leading to severe clinical depression or thoughts of self-harm and even suicide.
Collective grief. A shared experience of grief that affects a family, group, or community, often preceded by an event (natural disaster or attack).
Complicated grief. Where grief seems to deviate from what’s expected, complicated grief interferes with the ability to function. Complicated grief may include chronic (see above), delayed, or absent grief (American Psychological Association, n.d.).
Cumulative grief. Multiple deaths over a period of time can leave the bereaved without the opportunity or capacity to process each loss.
Delayed grief. Grief may not occur immediately after losing a loved one but may be postponed until another significant event occurs, resulting in what may seem an excessive response to the present situation.
Distorted grief. An extreme form of complicated grief exhibited as self-destructive behavior, anger, guilt, or hostility toward others.
Disenfranchised grief. When others do not recognize the importance of the loss, such as the death of an ex-partner, pet, or colleague. Society may consider the loss as minor or not legitimate.
Inhibited grief. Grief may not always be outwardly visible; it may result from a conscious effort to maintain privacy or keep emotions hidden from close friends or family.
Masked grief. Atypical physical symptoms and behaviors can be a response to grief without being attributed to the loss.
Normal grief. While there may not be a ‘typical’ grief shared by everyone, normal grief is considered to be when emotional intensity surrounding the death gradually decreases or basic daily activities begin to return to normal.
“We need to learn to support a healthy grieving, and to help people to understand that each person goes at their own pace” (Samuel, 2019, p. XX).
The treatment given to those attempting to process grief must be specific to the individual and their experience. The following approaches overlap and complement one another in supporting the bereaved (modified from Worden, 2009).
Helping the survivor actualize loss
When and where did the death occur?
What happened?
How were you told and where were you?
Visiting the grave can also make the loss more concrete.
Helping the survivor identify and experience feelings
Many feelings may not be recognized or felt to their full degree during intense grief. It is essential to help survivors experience the following:
Anger – arising from feelings of frustration and helplessness.
Guilt – for what the bereaved did and did not do to affect the outcome (usually irrational).
Anxiety and helplessness – feelings of helplessness can leave the bereaved unsure if they can survive alone and concerned about their own mortality.
Sadness – it can be challenging for many to show their upset in front of others. Crying can be helpful if associated with an awareness of what was lost.
Assisting living without the deceased
What problems are you facing, and how can they be resolved?
It is important to neither rush the bereaved to make decisions nor encourage a sense of helplessness, but instead communicate that they will be able to make decisions when they are ready.
Helping find meaning in the loss
Why did this happen?
Why did this happen to me?
How has this loss changed me?
Allowing for individual differences
No two people grieve in the same way; the process and feelings associated with loss are unique. There is tremendous variability in the following:
☆ His irises were two colors that had never agreed on borders. Brown pushing into blue, blue refusing to give way entirely. A beautiful, permanent negotiation.
☆ His eyes were two seasons in one glance. The blue of missing someone. The brown of finally finding them again.
☆ She had eyes that looked painted by someone who ran out of one color and kept going anyway and accidentally made something more beautiful than the original plan.
☆ Her eyes were the last thing you'd want to forget and the first thing you'd describe to someone who asked what changed everything.
☆ Her gaze was the kind that made you forget what you were about to say, not because it was cold or warm but because it was both, in the same iris, at the same time, without explanation.
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