unconditional surrender

30 | ⚢ | 🇺🇸🗽🦅 | Appalachian princess (masc) | Lick em tomorrow though. Formerly parkinglotking until Tumblr cucked me

[ulyssessimpsongrant]

Been meaning to make this for ages.

[ulyssessimpsongrant]

Reblogging this so I can repin it as a better organized thing. Tags I use regularly will be in the tags.

[zackthelion]

miderbeas....

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[mrsterlingeverything]

I want you to enjoy the once in a lifetime experience of reading this post for the first time. So im going to be quiet now. You just enjoy the moment

[oneheadtoanother]

[tachyon-log]

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

[fishmech]

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

[bunniope]

can we focus on the gnome for a second

[bunniope]

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

[ladyofspoons]

these are the people i have to share a highway with

[fyterx]

[blair-kamo]

[narliee]

What's so bad about being with me? I've never been with you, Bear. OBSESSION (2026), dir. Curry Barker

[roxylalonde]

Why are you promoting drug use on your blog

[roxylalonde]

stop being funny on my own post

[fairyinthetrees]

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

[ulyssessimpsongrant]

The way I saw some woman in a PSL tank top handing out literature while on my trolley tour. 😭

[ulyssessimpsongrant]

My day is going great!

[tackled]

[cash4bees]

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

[myfootyrthroat]

People who are in favor of big structural changes but oppose anything that would require them personally to adapt at all.

[spikedru]

girl vampires are so cool we need more girl vampires in general

[spikedru]

and like. girl vampires who are given the same kind of depth as male vampires of reconciling their own monstrous desires with how human they still are or not. and not like. vapid sexy temptresses or whatever. they have their time and place but i want a girl vampire desperately gripping the sink looking into the mirror just to see what isnt there anymore

[bedupolker]

politicians will name their proposals "the act to defend freedom and justice by the honesty coalition of friendship" and the contents will be a comprehensive plan on how the state should spike the tap water with giardia and start guillotining elderly golden retrievers in public

[cykelops]

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

[cykelops]

found it