My Stab at Poetry

My Little Poetry Blog

[mystabatpoetry]

Look at Me

i wish you looked at me like you used to.

i wish you looked at me like you were in love with me.

i miss that.

i wish you looked at me with amazement.

i wish you admired me.

i don’t have much to offer.

i wish you felt safe with me.

i wish you felt secure with me.

i miss that too.

i wish you looked at me as a man.

i wish you looked at me as your man.

i don’t know.

[mystabatpoetry]

More Bad Than Good

how do i affect your life?

how will i affect your life?

what kind of bad effects, defects will be caused by me?

how much damage do i cause to you, daily?

how much damage do i cause to you, emotionally?

am i a bad father?  I feel like I am.

am i a bad husband?  I feel like I am.

how will you treat others?

how will others treat you?

how much of the bad is my fault?

i lost my softness somewhere along the way.

i lost my quiet somewhere along the way.

i lost my cool somewhere along the way.

i lost my patience somewhere along the way.

i hope in the end it evens out.

[mystabatpoetry]

The Boy Who Couldn't Fly...

...jumped anyway.

maybe he fell.

maybe he was pushed.

either way, he can’t fly.

[mystabatpoetry]

I Know

I know the difference between right and wrong.

I know what I am.

I know what I believe.

I know the difference between right and wrong.

I know good.

I know bad.

I know the difference between right and wrong.

It doesn’t matter what I am, or where I’m from.

I see the struggle.

I know the difference between right and wrong.

What is going on is wrong.

Targeting, Harassing, beating, shooting, murdering.

I know the difference between right and wrong.

I know the difference.

I know.

[mystabatpoetry]

The Climate Today

As the hate continues to rise to the top

As it's true form bubbles up up up

As we push to rid the world of it

You try to cover it up

You try to disguise and dismiss it

You continue to live life like it won't affect you

You deny that it is happening

You remain silent, siding with the oppressor

You are my friend

But you are part of the problem

[mystabatpoetry]

My Final Goodbye

I never could figure this out.

I was never cut out for this.

I was not made for this.

I don't belong here.

So many people can do it,

I've tried but I just can't.

I can't accept the way things are.

My stupid ups and downs.

My emotional roller coasters.

I want to leave.

I want to go away and disappear.

I want to walk away.

I want to set out and wander,

Forever.

I am not gifted in any way.

I have no talent.

I have a love for art, music, film, poetry, books,

but I have no way to express myself.

I have so much to express with no way to get it all out.

I cannot defeat these demons,

God I've tried.

When does the confusion end?

I can't find peace.

When does the curtain close?

When do I take my final bow?

When will it be over?

[mystabatpoetry]

I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect, I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and for me, that has always been enough.

The Notebook

[mystabatpoetry]

Lost

Who am I? What am I doing here? When does it end? Where am I going? Why are we here? How can I find myself?

[mystabatpoetry]

Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh, As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh, Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands the ones I love, Some folks just have one, yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh Stay with me, Let's just breathe. Practiced are my sins, never gonna let me win, aw-huh, Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh, Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world to make me bleed. Stay with me, You're all I see. Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see, No one knows this more than me. As I come clean. I wonder everyday as I look upon your face, aw-huh, Everything you gave And nothing you would take, aw huh, Nothing you would take Everything you gave. Did I say that I need you? Oh, did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see, No one knows this more than me. As I come clean, ah-ah. Nothing you would take, Everything you gave. Love you till I die, Meet you on the other side.

Just Breathe - Pearl Jam

[mystabatpoetry]

I Never Knew (Baby)

I never knew I could love something so much. I never knew someone could make me smile so much. I never knew I could think about someone so much. I never knew something so small could make me feel so big. I never knew how happy something could make me. I never knew that I could be saved. I never knew my heart could feel so full. I never knew there was a God. I never knew...

[mystabatpoetry]

Poets are Damned... but See with the Eyes of Angels.

Allen Ginsberg

[mystabatpoetry]

My (Summer) Wife

My heart and my soul.  My flesh and body.  Everything I am not, and everything I am.  My love, my blood.  My creativity, my logic.  My head in the clouds, my anchor to the ground, my rock.  My best friend, my lover, my soulmate.  My shoulder to cry on and my arms to run to.  The best in me, my better half.  The reason I walk the line.  My hopes and my dreams.  My goals, my ambitions.  My good side, my confidence to do anything and everything.  The fire that drives me, pushes me, moves me.  My angel, my lighthouse, my savior,  my life.  My Fall, Winter, Spring, my Summer.

[mystabatpoetry]

A Part to Play

We are here for a reason.  A major role in this story.  A part to play.  There are demons to be stopped.  Dragons to be slain.  Blowing fire all around us, to keep us from fulfilling our destiny.  They are here to crush our castles, our place of privacy, security, and refuge, to burn our cities.  To destroy all that is good with their breaths of flames.  They bring trouble, pain, and despair.  Every day, we go out to fight these dragons and demons.  These evil winged beasts sent from hell to stop our Heaven.  This cannot be.  This will not stand.  We fight for His Majesty.  We stand firm at the gates of our stronghold.  We protect His throne.  We've been equipped with all the armor we'll need.  All the weapons to stand against the devil's schemes.  What else do we need?  We won't be moved.  We will not lose faith.   Though the streets do run red with the blood of dragons and demons and angels and humans,  we cannot be swayed.  This soul is in our hands.  We must battle for it.   It is our responsibility to return her to her king, her rightful owner.  We will not let them take us, we will not let them take our souls.  We will fight.  We will shed blood.  We will exert righteous violence and judgment upon these evil tormenting beings.  They will know who we serve.  We will always stand firm.

[mystabatpoetry]

Here

here to chase away your darkness and bring forth the light.  here to shut off your tears on those lonely nights.  here to piece together your broken heart and make it whole.  here to keep you warm when everything is cold.  here to erase the lines on your face, from all of the times you frowned.  here to pick you up when you've fallen down.  here to heal the sick and feed the starved.  here to help you realize who you are.  here to pull you in when your out to dry.  here to hold you close when you need to cry.  here to give you hope when you're in need.  here to bandage your wounds when you bleed.  here to help you out when you're in a jam. here for you when no one gives a damn.  here to wake the dead from eternal slumber.  here for you when you can go on no longer.  here to give you hope, here to bring you dreams.  here to show that it is never as bad as it seems.  here to show you heaven when you've been through hell.  here to take care of you when you're not doing well.  here to love you where all you've known is hate.  here for you, right away, so you'll never wait.  here to hold up your head when you've no more strength.  here for you, i will go any length.

[mystabatpoetry]

I Walk

i walk through doors that bend only to my shape.  i walk a line that appears only when i take a step.  i walk through halls, where the walls move when i breathe.  inhale-expand, exhale-shrink.  i trample through forests and all trees fall.  i tip-toe through cities and leave them in ruins.  i walk on quicksand, but never do i sink.  i step into the ocean and it parts for me.  i walk over it.  i step with my right foot and the earth quakes.  i step with the left and all goes silent.  i walk through gardens and flowers do bow.  i walk through a crowd and a path is made.  i walk over my own grave and i feel nothing.  my small steps kill giants and big strides save souls.  i crush nation with a stomp and worlds with two.  i walk wherever i want.

[mystabatpoetry]

No More Sighs

swallow and tranquilizedtotally mesmerizedsmothered in suicidethere's nowhere for me to hidemy minds moved to liquifytired of all these liesdrowning in your deep blue eyesmade to walk this linekin to the lord of fliesi'm deaf from my own criesanything money can buysucked into my own demiseworn out from all my triesswept away by the tidesstrangled by the tie that bindsrelationships to jeopardizethere a broken soul liesanother lonely heart diesleft here with all these whyseverythings supersizedso different you can't recognizea face that will horrifywashed to sterilizeno more of those boring sighsgrowing more and more wisetake a deep breath and realizeonce again the sun will rise.

[mystabatpoetry]

Self Medicated

He sits, trapped inside himself.  In his own mind.  Self medicated, "what can I take" he asks.  Crawling through his own mind.  Thoughts overturn thoughts like clouds of smoke.  The fiery rage of his intentions.  Tumbling through ideas.  Tripping over memories.  Stumbling around in the thoughts that you could never put into words.  A haze of stored information.  Useless information.  Lost in a desert of himself, of his own thoughts.  His own belief and disbelief.  The sand blows back into his eyes.  This drought he calls life.  Self medicated, "what can I take" he asks.  Inhale the dust storm of everyday life.  Choked on the promises he made that day.  To you, to her, to everyone that he hurt.  Curled up in a cocoon of himself not ready to boast the beauty he was granted.  Nestled in the corner of the back of his mind.  Self medicated, "what can I take" he asks.  He asks to be left alone, but cries when no one is near.  He's secluded in his head.  Stuck there by his lonesome dreams.  Beautifully vivid, yet lonely.  He drinks down the sorrow of a forgotten life.  Swallows hard.  He can't stomach the thoughts, the dreams, the ideas, the memories.  Self medicated.