so for trans visibility day let me take you through a fun little timeline
here ya got wee little kirby
skip forward i’m around 10 here, i was at my favorite place in the world, kiawah island south carolina
i was pretty confident in myself i mean look at those hair extensions
skip forward to thanksgiving 2013, i was thirteen years old and wearing a dress. i had always wanted to look nice for things like this, important holidays and such. and i felt wearing a dress was the right thing to do so that’s what i did.
now we are getting to the darker part
so during 8th grade i was dealing with so much, on top of that i was so confused about who i was. i was continually dealing with the stress of my depression, anxiety, and other mental issues plus all of this unsure of what the hell was going on in my mind
this is me near the end of march.
april 15th i tried to commit suicide and i ended up in hospital with a .42 BAC, i should’ve died.
i met this person, named dj. they told me how they wer genderfluid and they showed me a whole new spectrum of genders. the fact i fell in love with them is so besides the point, because what they did for me is opened me up more and helped me show me who i was.
this was me about a week after i got out of the hospital, i stayed there for about 2 ½ weeks.
so this is me at the beginning of ninth grade, i was still tryng to fit into what i thought i was supposed to be and wear even though i knew deep down something was off.
this was homecoming, i remmeber how uncomfrotable i was in that dress, yet i just felt like i HAD to wear one, i HAD to be a girl
around winter of 2014 i began to identify as genderfluid, i told my first person, my friend maura and she was very accepting
i began to dress more masculine when i was home alone and tried to hide my hair because it was causing me dysphoria
yet somedays, like spirit week where i dressed up as carmilla, i still tried to put on a girly front.
theN BOOM! I GOT MY FIRST HAIR CUT!
i hadn’t gotten my hair cut like ever, and it was so amazing. march 29th, 2015 was the first day i took a step towards accepting who i was
then we got my hair dyed ! major step forward. i was slowly feeling more comfortable with who i was.
yet there was still apart of me who didn’t feel like what i was was right. so i still tried to do that girly front, wore a dress for homecoming 2015
i began getting really deprssed again and my only savior was band, this was me the last day of band at state finals. my eyes were stained from crying becuase i didn’t know what i would do. luckily i still had theatre
but then i got my first dress shirt
i finally felt like i had something that i could wear and feel comfortable in
i got a binder january 2nd 2016
i felt like i could finally breathe, ironic right
yet 2016 brought so many more struggles, a few suicide attempts, some relapses, etc. but this is also the year i’ve been most comfortable with my body
slowly but surely i am becomine more accepting and comfortable with myself. wheter i’m ftm or just non-binary, who the hell knows? ( i know i sure don’t)
right now i’m just working on loving myself for the gender confused messed i am
so in conclusion. i’m kirby. i’m non-binary. and my pronouns are they/them and maybe he/him who the fuck knows
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