Growing up, I was a sick kid. All the hereditary diseases and every possible medical problem and deficiency you could think of, I had them. I spent half the time in hospitals. I tried new experimental drugs all the time in hopes that something would turn up that could cure my disease. While it wasn’t malignant - it’s a problem where some of my motor nerves ‘freeze’ and stop working for short periods - it was painful. I have a portable morphine drip that I carry with me at all times because I never know when I might have one of my ‘attacks’.
Point is, my condition was bad.
I was 8 years old when my cousin gave me my first Captain America comic. Suddenly I was reading about this character who had this frail, skinny body and who wanted to make a difference, to help and fight for his country, but was rejected because he was sick and weak. But despite that, he pushed through. And then he got his miracle drug, the one that made him human perfection. One that made him healthy .
You can see how that affects a kid who saw more of a hospital room than the inside of her own bedroom.
Captain America - Steve Rogers - was more than a fictional character for me. In my lowest moments, I drew strength from him. I reminded myself every time the doctor’s tried a new therapy for me that Steve Rogers got his miracle recovery, I could get mine. This comic superhero was my sanity more often than not.
But more than that, he was, still is, my role model.
Because the Steve Rogers I fell in love with was a brave man who overcame obstacles, who fought back against the injustice that nature meted out to him. He didn’t let anything deter him from doing what he believed in - not even his own frail body. Even after a miracle recovery, after he reached the pinnacle of human perfection, he maintained his humility and modesty. He stands for all the classical virtues like honesty, loyalty, courage, honour… He inspired people, whether they were soldiers who followed him in war or young readers who followed his adventures on page and big screen.
He inspired me to be the best person I could be. He inspired me to not give up despite all the times I wanted to, to persevere through the pain and the drugs and the surgeries and every time the cruel nurses teased me for having half my head shaved off. More than that, he inspired me to always do the right thing.
This Captain America, the epitome of goodness and kindness and courage and honesty, is not Hydra. He can never be a double agent, a traitor, to me. I refuse to acknowledge a world where Captain America doesn’t stand for the ideals and virtues that mankind has aimed to achieve since the dawn of time.
My Captain America is a superhero. But more than that, he’s a hero . Always has been and always will be.
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