kinda lovestruck atm

hopeless romantic lolita typa style :')

[mytcnegativethoughts]

*tc being friendly* *smiles* *talks to you* *exists*

you: he's fucking in love with me.

[mytcnegativethoughts]

good bye for now tcc community

hey guys, i miss this community. i've gone quiet when quarantine started, and since then i haven't updated u guys on the unbelievable details of my tc relationship— i have grown up. and, unfortunately, grown out of the tcc frenzy. it was a pure time of my life. i'll cherish this account and keep it in the depths of my manic teen heart. but for now, i'll leave you with the note mr. b left on my yearbook. highkey concerned he will ultimately find this post and that will be the demise of my undercover infatuation, but eh. i'd like to end this career with a bang. so here ya go~!

You are one of the most extraordinary people I have ever met; You are just exquisite in every way. I always marvel at the beauty of your heart, your soul, your talent, and your inexpressibly gorgeous treatment of me. I do not know what I did to deserve you, but I am beyond joyous. You are the best the world has to offer: I pray that the harshness of this world never touches you, and I hope you always glide through this world with your perfectly lovely spirit. I will never forget you.

[mytcnegativethoughts]

when he presses you so tight all you can think of are his arms holding you as if he were still there.

[mytcnegativethoughts]

"if you want to have sex, we can have sex."

i'm sorry but are my eArS wOrkiNg?? bants (british slang for jokes), he said that out of context for this "perfect world" in this short story we're reading, yet, still that phrase had taken me aback— and goddamn, does that sound like a perfect world to me.

[mytcnegativethoughts]

"I can't start talking about you, I'm going to cry"

my tc makes me want to fucking C R Y . I love mr. b so much~

my friend went back to school for the first time, and since i'm still here, helplessly remote, I asked her if she could relay to mr. b how much I love him. harmless, normal, student affection :,)

during class, mr. b said: (my name)! are you there? I saw carly today :D

his little enthusiastic spirit when addressing me is simply *chef's kiss*,, ne ways, carly comes back and sends me a *v exciting* voice recording... apparently when she told him how much i missed him, he said, "I can't start talking about her, I'm going to cry. I adore her so much." WHAT THE FUCK. i'll legit go to school just for you <3

this morning i told him i miss him too and that his hugs were the best (which, trust me, encompass u like a warm blanket). i made his morning apparently :,). don't worry mr. b, i will be at school soon lol~!

[mytcnegativethoughts]

online classes, part 1

i love hearing his little mutter when he says “i miss you” so quietly, out there where everyone’s listening in. 

[mytcnegativethoughts]

drifting along nyc with the lovely @pineconesarecrunchy 

[mytcnegativethoughts]

✨pseudo love confession✨

(btw this is from my drafts, and im happy to say that i have him for classes this year !)

mr. b has been BUGGING me about what course i’m deciding to choose for next year! he teaches a senior english course, but i didn’t want to choose his so easily because, pLayiNg hArD tO gEt (I KNOW IM A SLUT p.2). the day the papers were due, he sat down in the empty seat behind me during our homeroom and proceeded to practically allure me into his class!!! (like bro 👉👈 i kinda want to see my options here) he even told me that he’s feeling like a “salesman” selling his class to me. aND I KID YOU NOT. he said “obviously i love you and i only want what’s best for you.” :O I left homeroom pretending as if i was still indifferent about english courses for next year, but in my mind: i’m taking mr B’s class.

because i’m near his classroom last period, he started looking in the hallways, even asking my friend “where’s (my name)?’ when he found me, he had my course application in clutch, waving it, saying “I got your application *with a gaping smile*, I hope you like your decision :)” LMAO all I said was “me too” and he lauGHED saying, “I guess that’s my job for next year ;)” .... so yeah, guess I’m having him next year. :’)

MY HEART: nutted                                                                                             MY DEPRESSION: cured                                                                                   MY LOVE FOR HIM: through the fucking roof !

[mytcnegativethoughts]

i matched with a TEACHER ON TINDER

PSA: IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT ATTEMPT SIGNING UP FOR TINDER NOR ANY OTHER ADULT DATING SITES.

...so i got a tinder for shits and giggles :)) ,, i’m also a ✨minor✨ so i wasn’t planning on doing anything further than finding nice people and having meaningful convos in text - i mean, coronaVIRUS. i’m turning 17 in 6 days, so i guess i passed as an “18 year old” because i met so many cool people! i even set the age limit to the MAX because i’m a sucker for mature men HAH.

after scrolling for a bit, i found this cute 33 year old ! he taught English (like my actual tc) plus he looked a bit like my dream daddy, Colin Firth, so i swiped right AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER IT WAS A MATCH. 🌝 he messaged me something like, “you look exquisite in purple. who’s your favorite philosopher” AND ⁱ ᵈⁱᵉᵈ *AFHSAKADLJAD;KJDSAL* kill me now. 

i felt a bit like i was a student again in this everlasting summer! :D we talked about what he taught in his class i.e. existentialism and absurdism and when i replied back like an apt student he said, “you are wise beyond your years.” i really W I S H we could have talked more. !! he was asking me if we could meet and have coffee- which was not a vibe👉👈 ,, but yesterday night i got 💫💞🧚🏻✨𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭💫💞🧚🏻✨ ... well that saved me

i was in shock for a few seconds, but i knew it would happen eventually, and a 16 year old does nawt belong on tinder. there are pedos out there and you can also get yourself and these clueless people in trouble.... more yourself tho 😙 so stay safe but enjoy this short encounter that will forever be lost in the depths of tinder history 💗

[mytcnegativethoughts]

bro my tc feelings have died down ever since coronacation began, but now that i’ve seen him again, my feelings do be like:

[mytcnegativethoughts]

went back for locker room cleanup today.

sometimes i like to linger long enough so that my tc could talk to me more.

other times i like to escape as soon as i can because i am socially inept and too shy to keep up a charming conversation.

ofc this time i escaped

curse you perry the platypus and those charismatic enough “awkward” isn’t in their vocabulary T-T

(sidebar: if anyone can drop some tips or go-to *charming* phrases i could use, i would be SO grateful. :’-) i’m having mr. b as an actual teacher next school year and i rlly want to be best buds, ya feel ?)

[mytcnegativethoughts]

*rewatching lolita for the 2784th time*

me: what the heck is he doing she's FOURTEEN, fukin perv!!1! ew! disgusting.

also me: *fantasizing driving home from camp with my tc, traveling to multiple motels and kissing him on the road*

[mytcnegativethoughts]

they dont love him like I do.

haha i recently had to paint mr. b for this spirit week thing with my friends. and mr. b always has half of his classroom lights off, so nobody could clearly distinguish his facial features unless you're really trying. Low and behold, they were debating what his eye color was. They guessed brown, black, and grey, like, omg, nO. His eyes are so blue. They are so piercingly blue, those icy eyes can kill me anyday! I wouldn't mind staring into Mr. B's eyes forever. God, there is so much anguish and beauty in his eyes its phenomenal. 👁 👁

thats when i realized, even though they're the ones who have him as a teacher and supposedly "adore him" so much, they don’t love him like i do : )

[mytcnegativethoughts]

the only thing keeping me alive right now is reminiscing the memories i had with mr. b. if i'm not going to see him again before the school year is over, please, kill me now.

i miss him so much.

[mytcnegativethoughts]

guys apparently humans need at least 8 hugs a day to keep our mental and physical status maintained. so i’m going to tell this to my tc and maybe he’ll, i dunno, hug me once a day ?? 

hashtag genius.

[mytcnegativethoughts]

he said “you’re beautiful”

ahh ! this ! week ! has! been ! so ! great! 

i noticed how mr. b was down this morning, so i asked him if he was “ok, because you seem sad.” he said he had just woke up feeling sad :(. but HE also told me that because i asked him, he’s a little happier. i told him to feel better! *kinda sus but* i also touched his arm (I KNOW IM A SLUT). mr b appreciated it so much he said “you’re beautiful” AJSAKDJSKAJI im fucking L I V I D.

i feel so selfish just uploading about my tc stories, but it’s really therapeutic. and fun. and relatable maybe???? 

[mytcnegativethoughts]

that moment when he opens his arms for a hug.

so you squeeze him hard... and suddenly, he begins to squeeze you even harder to his body.