“Haven:” How to Write a Love Triangle
God, this has been in my drafts for months because trying to put down all my thoughts about it has been more difficult than I anticipated (and I forgot to save halfway through, so my draft was deleted. Ugh).
Something I noticed about Haven, on like, my third watch through, is that the dominant love triangle wasn’t getting on my nerves. And that was weird, because love triangles are my least favorite plot device and I tend to fast forward through all the overwrought melodrama that accompanies them. They’re banal, they’re not realistic, and by God, do they get stale as soon as they’re introduced. But Haven wasn’t like that, and it took me awhile to realize why:
The show treats the characters like the adults they are, and as a result, subverts pretty much all of the usual tropes that go along with such a plot device. Because it’s not unbelievable for two guys to fall for the same girl, but it is unbelievable for three adults in their 30′s to act like middle schoolers. And once I realized that, I started seeing that pretty much everything about the love triangle was just so refreshingly mature, and that there is a “right” way and a “wrong” way to handle this trope. My favorite differences that “Haven” has that other shows get wrong:
1) First and foremost, Audrey’s agency as a person in her own right, and the central part of this love triangle, is paramount throughout. I read somewhere that love triangles, particularly M/F/M ones, are often less “triangles” and more “angles,” with the female character being backed into a corner while the men fight over who wins the prize. You can see this in other fandoms, like Buffy, in which the Angel/Buffy/Spike triangle is much more about Angel and Spike than it is about Buffy. While often laughed at (Buffy makes frequent jokes about being subject to “testosterone poisoning” by being in the middle), the show never really deconstructs this idea that the most important part of the love triangle are the boys and their “worthiness,” rather than Buffy and her individual feelings. Buffy is, after all, the reason they’re competing over the Sanshu prophecy, and while not the origin of their rivalry, becomes its sole reason pretty quickly. Though it should be noted the origin of their rivalry is another love triangle.
Contrast this with Haven, where Duke and Nathan have a history that has nothing do with Audrey, and weirdly, their attraction to her doesn’t really factor into their rivalry. It’s pretty much the only reason they even speak. They have completely separate campaigns to win Audrey’s affection, and whether or not she’s receptive is not only entirely up to her, but informs how the guys interact with her. Sometimes this happens in front of each other, but they don’t really go for relationship sabotage or any other form of pettiness, as again, it’s Audrey’s choice. It’s also noticeable that the love triangle is briefly interrupted by a Chris Brody commercial break in season 2 and both Duke and Nathan respect this.
2) This agency leads me into my next favorite thing: Audrey isn’t forced to make a hard choice. Again, since Audrey is at the center of this love triangle, both Duke and Nathan are hyper-aware of which way the wind blows. Audrey and Nathan’s relationship grows organically, and Duke, refreshingly, sees the writing on the wall pretty early on in the series. And he doesn’t try to force it. He recognizes that it’s Audrey’s choice and he can’t make her choose him. If it isn’t going to happen, it isn’t going to happen. And speaking of…
3) Audrey’s choice is respected. There are few more satisfying scenes from the perspective of the mature love triangle than the one in “Magic Hour,” where Audrey, in a moment of weakness, kisses Duke. In any other series, this would have been much more salacious and it would become a major issue, reigniting the love triangle and giving Duke an opportunity to re-up his campaign to be with Audrey. But…it doesn’t. Audrey recognizes she’s stressed about her life and Nathan and she’s not actually into it and Duke backs off. He could have pushed it a little, tried to dismiss her concerns or go for another kiss. But he doesn’t, he respects her choice and it doesn’t affect their friendship in the slightest. It probably didn’t feel great for Audrey’s interest in him to be merely the result of her existential crisis, but he doesn’t make her feel bad about it.
Quite possibly the best thing to come out of the love triangle in this season is the concept that Duke’s feelings are not Audrey’s problem. It is Duke’s responsibility to deal with them. He doesn’t even bring them up unless someone asks him directly. Which is the direct opposite of how this usually plays out, where the “loser” in the love triangle’s entire personality becomes about how they’re the “loser” in the love triangle, and often making the object of their affection feel bad for not picking them. And speaking of Duke…
4) Duke isn’t made “the bad guy” to make Nathan more appealing. You see this so often in other media: the guy the writer(s) decide is the “wrong” pick suddenly turns into a complete asshole so that the “right” pick suddenly becomes the only logical choice. No one wants to see their protagonist end up with an asshole, and the writers don’t want to alienate fans by forcing the protagonist to make a hard choice. Duke’s personality and interactions with Audrey don’t really change over the course of the series, except that he stops hitting on her once it’s clear she’s choosing Nathan. But this brings me to my next point…
5) Nathan does not provide everything Audrey needs, emotionally speaking, despite being the one she’s supposed to be with. I mentioned this in my review for “Ball and Chain” for the @havenfanrewatch that something unique in Haven is that Duke provides an objectivity and particular type of support for Audrey that Nathan does not. While they’re pursuing her in the love triangle, this makes sense; they’re supposed to be opposites to give Audrey something to choose from. If they were both the same, it would be boring.
But unusual for the love triangle trope is that Duke sticks around after Audrey rejects him. And he continues to be this unique kind of support; this is never really a role Nathan grows into, as would be typical for a decided love interest. Nathan is Audrey’s soulmate and the person she’s supposed to be with, but Duke is Audrey’s best friend; Nathan is too close to the situation and lacks objectivity, while Duke does not and Audrey needs that. And sometimes so does Nathan. This is exemplified in episodes like “Thanks for the Memories,” where Nathan angrily calls Duke out for letting Audrey go into the Barn, while Duke counters that it’s her choice and the correct thing to do is support her. Or in “The New Girl,” where Duke, not clouded by Nathan’s intense grief and guilt, is the one to be able to tell that “Lexie” is faking. In any other show, this would be used as a way to revive the love triangle, as it would prove that Duke knows Audrey “better” than Nathan does, and she therefore “chose wrong,” but it’s not. It’s just Duke’s continued habit of paying attention to Audrey and calling her out on her shit. He does it again in the next episode when she insists he hide this new information from Nathan (also, again, in any other show, this would play into re-igniting the love triangle–a shared secret; instead, Duke’s angry on Nathan’s behalf and wants nothing to do with it). And speaking of Duke sticking around…
6) Duke sticks around! Duke sticks around after it’s clear that he’s the loser in the love triangle. In part because he’s still in love with her, but also because he genuinely likes her as a person and is content to be her friend even if she doesn’t want him the way he wants her. What a novel concept. It’s weirdly rare for both contenders in the love triangle to continue to be main characters after the love triangle has concluded. And when Duke does move on…
7) Giving Duke a love interest of his own is handled in a sneakily deft way. Admittedly, not initially; his whole plot line with Evi was kind of (really) half-assed. But arguably, the writers didn’t actually intend for that to take off, because the main love triangle was still in full swing, so there wasn’t any investment put in it. Frustrating, but typical. Though, hint to writers: if you don’t plan on ever fleshing out a plot thread, don’t hint that it has a complicated backstory at odds with your characters’ current characterization. The writers just casually dropping “Oh, yeah, Duke was married” was definitely a “what, what?!” moment. And absolutely nothing is explained. There’s not indulging in exposition that would be unnatural for two people already know each other and have a shared history, and then there’s swinging the pendulum the other way and having two characters who really should talk about their history, have no reason not to, and then they just…don’t…? I digress.
Come season 4, though, they needed to give Duke a love interest of his own because the love triangle is now concluded and needs to stay concluded. And this could have backfired spectacularly. It usually does. Introducing a new character, particularly one who becomes a love interest for a main character–never mind 1/3 of a show’s most prominent love triangle–usually doesn’t go very well. But what I found fascinating in perusing Tumblr after completing the series (several years after it ended) is that so many fans were like “Yeah, I ship him with Audrey/Nathan/etc. but I’d totally be willing to not get my ship if we get to keep Jennifer.” And in the interest of full disclosure for this section…Duke and Jennifer are my favorite Haven couple. Their first kiss is probably my favorite in all of media. It’s beautiful. I’m such a sucker for confirmed bachelor (or bachelorette) type characters finding their person and just tripping and falling flat on their faces in love.
But! From a writing standpoint, something I think is fascinating about this particular bend to season 4 is not only that Duke gets his own love interest, but that the show has the self-awareness to realize that while Duke might be an ideal partner for Audrey, she is not an ideal partner for him, because Jennifer is everything for Duke that Audrey is not. There is a pretty high level of self-awareness on the writing team already just in general, but it’s a bold move to subtly imply that your protagonist would be a shit girlfriend to the other half of the love triangle you spend three seasons pushing. The show never goes as far as to admit that Audrey and Nathan kind of treat Duke like crap, all things considered, but it does give him a love interest who is far more interested in his well-being and self-esteem as opposed to how useful he is in solving the Troubles. Which is something I didn’t even realize was lacking until episodes like “Crush” and “The Lighthouse.” Someone being righteously pissed off because Duke has to be re-Troubled and they’re concerned that’s going to affect him negatively? Yes, please, because it’s not as though Duke isn’t already resigned to relating to other people based on his utility.
8) The love triangle stays gone even after Jennifer’s death. This would have been a really opportune time for the writers to pivot and re-invigorate the love triangle, but they don’t. Duke’s feelings remain complicated but ultimately platonic for Audrey and Jennifer’s death has a realistic and lasting impact. Not as long as would probably be realistic, but show’s gotta show, right? Jesus.
Is everything handled perfectly? No. The love triangle goes on far too long; it’s really only viable in season 1 and maybe half of season 2. After that, it’s pretty clear that Audrey is choosing Nathan but the love triangle lingers on like it’s on life support through two more seasons. And pops up at the most random times. Like, there’s times when it seems like the writers have given up the ghost, only for it to pop up briefly for two seconds another time. And while the love triangle does thankfully stay dead, for all intents and purposes, in season 5, having the whole Mara/Duke subplot seems like a really cheap way for the writers to try and have their cake and eat it, too. Not a fan. And most of this long diatribe is about Duke, because Nathan tends to be written in a way that leans into a lot of the love triangle love interest tropes that I don’t like very much, such as being quick to get jealous and going over the top to “save” Audrey even if it means disrespecting her boundaries. But even then, these are character flaws, and we know they’re character flaws because not only does he get consistently called out for them, when he engages in them, he always makes the situation worse. They’re not helpful or appreciated. Especially by Audrey.
And that’s not to say that the writers treat all the love triangles with the same revolutionary hand as the main one. The light one between Nathan, Audrey, and Jordan in season 3 is more fit for junior high than anything involving adults, from Jordan just being petulant and petty the whole time and Audrey and Nathan being seemingly unable to have an honest and thoughtful conversation. And the one between Nathan, Audrey, and Chris just seems like someone decided it should be one, but they couldn’t be bothered to put any effort into it. Which I prefer, but still.
Overall, such a breath of fresh air and something a lot of other shows could take lessons from. Adults don’t want to watch other adults act like they’re 12. “Haven” proves you absolutely can write a compelling love triangle narrative that respects the intelligence of both the characters in it and the audience watching it. I might do another post about other romance tropes the writers subvert in a way that is both refreshing and realistic, but this post is already long enough.
If you’re still reading this and made it to the end, have a cookie. 🍪
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