My Trans Truth

Can You Handle My Trans Truth?

[mytranstruth]

All my life, I've played like a winner. And All I see looking back in the mirror Are the demons in my head The demons in my head

The Wanted - Demons

[mytranstruth]

I Despise My Life

I despise my life, I am a gross, disgusting transsexual freak and I hate who I am. I hate everything about who I am and I want to die. I wish I could euphanise myself to end this horrible suffering. I despise being a transsexual freak and would rather be dead.

[mytranstruth]

And if my life's like a perfect sky, why I feel gray inside? And if I'm living such a wonderful high, why don't I feel alive? But Imma keep my tears to me But the truth between me and you is Now I'm living a big fat lie, lie lie lie lie lie You know I love to lie, lie lie lie lie lie I'm living a big fat lie, lie lie lie lie lie You know I love to lie If you look past my features, just a little deeper I'm living a big fat lie

Nicole Scherzinger - Big Fat Lie

[mytranstruth]

Today I feel almost as if I have forgotten that I am trans. I don't have the same anxiety that I had before, maybe this is part of acceptance. Because I don't feel anxious, I almost feel like I don't need to transition or anything. Has anybody else gone through this?

[mytranstruth]

My Situation

About 10 forums have banned be now because they say I am just a troll. I am 22, I have had these thoughts for over 2 years but before that I had no idea that I was trans. Now my body hair is starting to get to me so I am shaving more. It was one of the most distressing periods of my life when I found out I was trans. I am thinking of telling some friends, I wanna be more open and stuff. I am sick of saying "fine thanks" when people ask who I am. I went to a support group in England before I moved (in/person not online) and they weren't mean but the people were really strange.... I want to go to medical school and I am preparing for that at the moment, getting relevant experience and the like. My other career idea is clinical psychology as I already have a bachelors. Of course I would love a media career but that is more difficult to have long term but it is not something I am giving up on. What I need the most is counselling/therapy, I don't care much about physical things at the moment, what is most important for me is learning to deal with this. And GRS scares the crap out of me, I dunno if I wanna modify my bits, for my whole life I have treasured and loved them and then transsexuality struck me. Also I want lots of BIOLOGICAL children which is difficult if I start takin hormones and to store enough samples to have lots of children will be very expensive financially also the success rates are in the 20% range so I don't wanna destroy my chance of ever having kids.

[mytranstruth]

Fake ass people surround me Digging their claws right in me They’re always nice to begin But I always get fucked in the end.

Korn - Fear Is a Place To Live

[mytranstruth]

Will I Confess To My Trans Truth?

I have a Doctor's appointment at 10 to 5 to open up about my transsexuality and ask for referral to a gender therapist. I am scared *beep*less I have no idea what to say or how to address the issue. I need help!!! I have no idea what to do :'(

[mytranstruth]

I Need To Break Away

I need to break free So I can be my true trans self But I can't exactly afford to move away I have saved up some money But I dunno how I would support myself once I moved I really need to get out of this town though I cannot handle being trans It is destroying my life :'( It has killed all my hopes, dreams and aspirations and rendered me powerless and lifeless

[mytranstruth]

Transgender Hate Crime

I keep reading about transgender hate crime and loads of transsexuals have been murdered this year solely on the basis of being trans It is frigging sickening!! And this is the life of torment I have to look forward to :'( I can't handle this!

[mytranstruth]

My Deep Dark Secret

So being transsexual is my deep dark secret but I know that I am going to have to open up about my trans truth eventually. It just sends shivers down my spine having to speak about, laying my transsexuality on the table ready for the world to see and react to.

My first point of call is to tell my doctor (but I need to register with one first) and this scares me immensely. I just don't know if I can handle doing it.

At the same time I know I need to do it.

This is such a sucky situation to be in and I wouldn't wish it upon anybody!

[mytranstruth]

My trans truth is rocking my world, I just dunno what to do, I cannot handle this!

[mytranstruth]

What I Can't Handle About My Transsexuality

Being a trannsexual

Being a woman trapped in a man's body

Being a woman

Feeling like a freak

Feeling dirty

Research trans* issues, just to find links to sites saying how we are freaks and how we all do sex work and commit suicide and get aids etc

I can't handle having to transition and change bodies

[mytranstruth]

Story Of My Trans Discovery

Well it all started last year when I bought some sporty girls clothes. Me and my friends planned to go to a party as the Spice Girls, I wanted to be Sporty Spice so I wouldn't have to wear a dress (I didn't know I was trans at this point) so I went to the shop and purchased a blue top that like showed me belly and some grey shorts that were for ladies. When I got home I tried on aforementioned clothes in the privacy of my room prior to the party, I made breasts out of things that were lying around, e.g. shirts, socks, etc I then moved around my room wearing this outfit and I looked in the mirror then I was like "what the hell am I doing? this is weird" so I took off the clothes. In the end me and my mates never wore the costumes to the party and I ended up throwing out the costume after a few weeks. After trying on the clothes I had a few whirring feelings in my brain like something was being uncovered then about a week later after I came out to my mum about being "bisexual" and it not going as well as I hoped, I was also drinking each night (out with friends, I was still a student back then :P) then one night I was alone in my room and thne I got the whirring feeling and I was like "OMG I AM A TRANSSEXUAL ASJKDJSFDJLFDSJ JFDFDJFDJK JFKFDJFD"" MAJOR BREAKDOWN!!! I WENT FOR A WALK TO TRYI AND CLEAR MY MIND. When I first said "I am a transsexual" I got a sensation through my body, I think this was gender euphoria.  Then for half a year to a year I was really worried I was trans, I was like "OMG I am trans but I don't want to be/ I wish I could stay as a man / etc etc etc"" Then a few months ago I was like "OMG I AM ACTUALLY TRANS, I am not just scared of being trans, I am actually trans" This was a shock to me and it has been rocking my world. And that is the story of my trans discovery