August 4, 1924 Journals of Anais Nin 1923-1927 [volume 3]
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August 4, 1924 Journals of Anais Nin 1923-1927 [volume 3]
"you dodged a bullet"
It actually went through my heart
That sickly feeling when you realize you don’t know how to love. You only know how to be devoted like a dog which has been abused all its life yet licks the hand which beats it.
The trauma response of not correcting people's wrong ideas about who you are in case they take it the wrong way or take them being wrong about you out on you.
This is a trauma response.
Your demons and my demons long for each other.
The Trauma response of not trusting it, the one time someone just does what you told them to do and mostly is trying to openly appeal to you, not having to leap through any high bars or anything. Just being direct, appealing to you and good vibes.
This is a trauma response.
now you've got nowhere to run
there’s is something deeply and profoundly wrong with me
I learned that some people
don’t break your heart,
they slowly convince it
to stop expecting
anything at all.
More love is found in grief because it’s love with nowhere left to go.
i keep pretending i’m okay
because no one wants to hear
about a heartbreak
that never healed