Nackskott

She ---- 𓏲ּ𝄢 My diary, safe space

[n4cksk0ttt]

This is my personal blog, diary. I post whatever I feel like.

I really like drawing, music, playing bass, horror genre, video games, watching movies and more... I will be talking about in my blogs...

See ya

Tw: anything, I dont know what I will come up with

DNI: just dont get on my nerves

[n4cksk0ttt]

"In order to create you need to consume" I say as I watch 4th movie of the day

[n4cksk0ttt]

I am not joking this time if anyone get in my way they will be executed by me

[n4cksk0ttt]

My kind girl era is OVER whoever tryna get in my way will be executed

[n4cksk0ttt]

Why I can't keep my mood good and stable

[n4cksk0ttt]

I am rotting alone

[n4cksk0ttt]

This is the worst nausea I am having in a long time and I did not even eat anything

[n4cksk0ttt]

Did not eat for three days and it felt good

[n4cksk0ttt]

Why this feeling does not leave me alone, why me???

[n4cksk0ttt]

I feel nauseated by the world we live in. Not the events but the worlds itself sickens every part of flesh of mine. I do not even enjoy anything at this point. I did not eat for 3 days because I even lost the feeling of being hungry I assume. I am not sure if I really feel the emotions inside my lungs. Even if I complain about not feeling anything sometimes I can not control my fear and tears. Fear, I guess that is the only emotion I generally feel. I fear, I fear of everything. The future, the past, the possibilities even if they are not possible. I always have nightmares about being choked or beaten up. I had a really disgusting dream about me being dragged to a isolated room naked and forced to rot in there. There was blood and feces on the walls, maggots were giddy with the idea of eating my rotten body. I tried to puke but I could not. Since then there is a urge in me to puke, something I can not get it out like a whole rotten apple with maggots inside it.

I talked a lot today huh, better keep my thoughts for another blog.

This is one of my favorite movies, I really like the manga it is based on too.

[n4cksk0ttt]

Everyday just feels like I am being skinned alive

[n4cksk0ttt]

I HATE when people do not understand that sometimes I really would like to be spend my time alone and it is not about them I just want to be alone. Because I HATE texting for hours or talking for hours on the phone. This makes me feel horrible and I intentionally become more dry so they can leave me alone. After that they think I am arrogant or rude but infact I only like to be alone and spend my time on my own because there would not be anyone to hurt me if I do not let anyone to interract with me.

[n4cksk0ttt]

Hai, yeah its me again because I cant handle this anymore.

I believe there is nothing that can help me, medicines doesnt work on me, talking about it doesnt work on me, lobotomize myself doesnt work on me. I slowly kill myself day by day, thats the only way to get out. I dont get mental help anymore because they think it will affect my career If I get diagnosed (which is yes, it will affect) but Im here stuck with my own thoughts that kill me. What am I supposed to do??? What will happen to me??? I wish that nobody did ever get to know me so killing myself would be so much easier for me

[n4cksk0ttt]

Nobody will ever get how I love possession 1981 and how I relate it too much...

˚̣̣̣ ꒷︶.︶꒷˚̣̣̣︶˚̣̣̣ ꒷︶.︶꒷˚̣̣̣︶ ͡𑁬...໒ ͡ ︶˚̣̣̣꒷︶.︶꒷ ˚̣̣̣ ˚̣̣̣ ꒷︶.︶꒷˚̣̣̣︶

Oh god, why did you left us? Why did you left us and gave us the hope that you will return? Like a mother abandons her child in a cold house. God, It is so cold out here.

[thedevilsdancers]

may 2002 (hopefully this isnt laggy)

[n4cksk0ttt]

"I want a weird girlfriend" mfs when the girlfriend is actually weird not just alternative/goth/scene/emo or whatever

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[n4cksk0ttt]

I wish some people had the same courage I had so they can kill theirselves or smash their had to the wall.