Si Vis Pallem Para Bellum @naamahlillith-blog - Tumblr Blog

Me when I was 13?

What was I thinking?

You and cigarettes are my only muse You set the fuel to my passion It burns until the kettle burns hot Starve me to insanity You have the chains to my soul Playing a melody with your internal violin I'll play the same tune until you fall in love with the idea of falling Smoking my troubles Inhalings our problems and exhaling them out Clear our minds to give us some wiggle room Until the only thing in our thoughts are you and I And me and you And whispering a melody that only we know Just escaping until we find ourselves again And to breathe as one And to look into each others eyes in the same light Intwining ourselves intil our lungs become black as tar and gives out And when our hearts pump faster and pump the sweet song of you and I and it gives in As we bow down symbolically and say You are what I'm looking for Save me from the fire below, and save me from unintangible bliss Take me where you want because my heart and mind belongs to you

#Poetry #poems #yada

I can't tell how I felt when you walked passed me. Maybe a mixture of guilt, dissapointment and clouded judgement. When we made eye contact but none of us said a word. I knew you were thinking that same thing I was. Should I speak? Should I keep it moving? Should I not say a word? But we both knew deep down we wanted at least to say hello. No words were exchanged. I thought you called out my name, but maybe I was wrong. I think you called my name once we crossed paths, when it was too late. When the freshmen crowded our area. I looked back , but then you were gone. I wish I would have at least gotten a hug from you. But of course we were timid and hesitant. Kind of like our relationship. Waiting for the other to make the first move, and usually it's you. Maybe I'm just over analyzing this whole situation. We just crossed paths. Maybe it didn't mean much to you butit definitely does to me. I miss the light relationship that we had. It was like a kite floating from the ground, but just barely. Even though I try to keep you far from my mind, you usually find a way to come crawling back. Maybe you were never far from my thoughts after all. I've been thinking about you all day.

Never uploaded a photo of me. So here.

My fingers remind me of little spider legs when I type.

I had a dream to you last night. You wrote me a letter telling me that you want me.But can't be with me, that you liked me, but we can't be together.You wrote me a letter, and it was signed in script. It was nice, and I was happy because I actually knew how you felt. Actually, I was more than happy, I was more than blissful, I was more than floating on cloud nine. There was no words describing how "happy" I was.

Then I woke up. And everything was just the same as before. Me just playing guessing games. Why are you here? Why did you come back? I know (at least I hope) that you know how I feel so I wish you can just stop.

If tonight goes to hell, I'm going to be done trying. I don't even know what exactly I'm trying to do.

whatever.fuckit.

I'm done.

Can someone just sweep me off my feet already?

#personal #boyszz suck #die

I want to be a writer.

I want to have many kids with many men from different cultures I want to read your fortunes I want to dance I want to make love to my soulmate

And fucking wake up and look in the mirror and say, I fucking did it.

afoolfor-love-blog

I love to play with my words I love to play with my words To get what I want I love a person who can battle me In a game of wits Lets play mind games all night Then fall asleep

afoolfor-love-blog

I need sleep? Why am I still up? Oh right, because I don’t want this feeling of euphoria to go away. I’m in love with this feeling and I know that I won’t get it back. OR I’ll never feel this feeling until years later Because a feeling like this only comes once a year for me. I don’t think I’ve had a feeling like this at all. ever

onmoonbeams

Theres always someone new in my life No one has gave me a reason for me to consider them a lover If I did, they were also never interested I have many love interest "Some I consider Some I don't"

#rough draft

I was never afraid of loving you I was never afraid to dig deeper in your soul Because I knew that there was a few layers that I haven"t discover I forget that theres a time in the night Where its not so morning And not so much the evening I would forget Because you were there I'd stay awake too dig deep Wondering when deep became too deep Or if too deep even existed

I was never afraid of hiding from you You were the only one to break my feelings To help me rot from the inside Because I gave you my vulnerabilty I gave you everything that I called my pride Because I knew I knew that if there wasn't a give or take You would never give at all

I gave you a place in me To relax and let go But there was always that gaurd in you That would never come down

So here I am offering you a truce A truce where you can come in me, to love me metaphorically And I'll love you with emotion When ever you'd like and please Because the wall can never be forced down

Come to me, I will be waiting for the day you smash down those brick walls

I see that you're typing, then the icon disappears, I know you're pondering what to say or how to say it. Theres a hidden complexity of the simplicty of your thoughts being backed up on the computer screen. Because it shows that you care. The well being on the person on the other side. May be you have nothing else to say, maybe youre thinking about what to say. To keep the conversation going so it will seem like a never ending story. About our days."How are you?' "What are you up to?" Are the generic conversations that we all secretly want to turn into a conversations about how we really feel, or what are intentions really are. You see, theres a hidden complexity of the way you type, with every second when you stop typing, or the everyday "How are you" or "What are you up to"

I met someone

He's a poet. His words surrounds me like a melody The melody brings me up to cloud nine As he brings me to the sweet dellusion Of what can make me happy, and what would make me happy His beautiful good mornings, and his sweet good nights Falling asleep to the sound of silence with him Heart beats to heart beats Mouths to mouths Legs tangled up into one He whispers poetry in my ear As my mind sits back and watches his words play with my emotions I found a lover, I found someone who will be on the same page as me The same words we will write The same metophors that will dig deep into our hearts While are thoughts broaden into something much bigger than what we know We dance the dance of harmony I met someone A poet A lover My future lover.

Mothers upstairs making a few business calls. Fathers rubbing the sweat from his neck from his latest mistress. Sisters in the back room crying for a new salvation. She's only 10 and already knows the meaning of deciet and regret. I'm in my room lost in my world. In the darkness. Taking drugs from the medicine cabinet, making love to many men. I have many love interest. Some I consider friends, and some I just consider.

I'd write your name a bilions times, right across from mines. Our names flows like soft ribbons on a small girls pigtails, I'll follow my writing with a small heart, that represents my heart, small and innocent. Left over with eraser marks that helps make my lettering so perfect and neat. Like the font of a wedding card. You can feel the warmth, the comfort in just a paper with the font of love. But ours is a touch of reality. where imperfections are common, where the erasser marks is still visible even with the attempt to let it dissapear.

#not done #VERY rough draft #stoned writing

wisps

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Si Vis Pallem Para Bellum