“Your mom is back,” she heard her father say. Everything following that moment happened in slow motion. Her heart stopped. The warm cup of Starbucks coffee slipped from the pads of her fingers and fell to the ground. Feelings that she had successfully locked up in Pandora’s box years ago flooded her core, instantly shattering the system of stability in her mind to pieces.
ᴛᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴇᴀʀʟɪᴇʀ. — starbucks.
“Hi, can I get a small salted caramel mocha with whipped cream, please?” Nadia smiled at the barista who punched in her order and handed her the credit card machine for payment. Already having the card in hand, she tapped it against the machine and pulled the card away after a small beep signaled that the payment had gone through.
Giving the barista another smile, Nadia placed her debit card back into her wallet as she walked from the line to wait for her coffee. Her cell phone vibrated in her back pocket and she reached back for it, pulling it out to look down at the caller I.D. on her screen. She read it and quickly tapped her thumb on the screen to pick up the call.
“Holà, papa,” Nadia greeted her father as soon as her phone was up against her ear.
“Nadia, my love. Where are you?” he asked.
“Starbucks,” she answered as her brown eyes roamed the cafe.
“It’s late.” He made it a statement, insinuating that it was also past the time that he was comfortable with her being out, despite her being grown and miles away.
“Papa. You know I’m writing up that interview for Fader and it has to be A1. They’re taking a chance on me! Not to mention my course readings for this week.“
After a short contemplating silent he huffed. “Salted caramel mocha with whipped cream?”
Nadia brought her hand to her chest. “Have I told you this week how much I love you?” She heard her father’s laugh at the other end of the line as she retrieved her coffee from the barista and walked out of the cafe grinning.
Nadia and her father always had a close relationship, despite the bridge her mother had tried to place between them when she was a child. She was always told that he was too busy with his other family to care about her existence, but Nadia refused to believe it. She kept telling herself otherwise when he missed important events in her life that even her mother wasn’t around to witness. There were days where she had to raise herself as if she had no parental figure because her mother was always out at odd hours, either stripping or enjoying the night life.
Nadia’s ‘baby-sitters’ were druggies, dealers, or co-workers of her mother who owed the woman a favor. No one wanted to spend time with Nadia and give the child the attention that she needed. Those days, the weight of her mother’s words laid heavily on Nadia’s young heart, but she did her best to remain optimistic about the man. As far as she was concerned, the idea of him was much a hundred times much better than the reality of her mother, even if he wasn’t around. Now that she was older she understood that her mother was heartbroken and broken all together which influenced her opinion about Nadia’s father, but Nadia couldn’t help the love that she felt for him. It was engrained in her very being.
“How’s everything?” she asked, choosing to be general instead of being specific and asking about her half-sister’s mom.
While Sia and Nadia had what most would deem a normal sibling dynamic despite their odd circumstances, it had always been hard for Nadia to get acclimated to her step-mother. The woman was intimidating to Nadia because she was literally everything her mother was not: The perfect wife and mother with a successful career. She was always sweet to Nadia, but there was always a lingering feeling in the air that she was embarrassed by their family situation. From Nadia’s perspective, before her father had gained full custody of her the Masri’s lived a perfect life. The arrival of Nadia was a scandal to the public and to fans of her step-mother who knew nothing about them. Because of this, Nadia had always felt like a Jon Snow within a family of Starks — the bastard child. So to cope, she avoided her step-mother at all costs.
“It’s going. We’re good. We miss our daughters,” her father responded sincerely.
“We miss you guys too, papa,” Nadia assured him.
“..I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it,” he started slowly.
Nadia nodded her head, bringing her cup to her lips to take a small sip of the warm liquid. “Okay.. What is it?”
“Your mother is back,” she heard her father say. Everything following that moment happened in slow motion. Her heart stopped. The warm cup of Starbucks coffee slipped from the pads of her fingers and fell to the ground. Feelings that she had successfully locked up in Pandora’s box years ago flooded her core, instantly shattering the system of stability in her mind to pieces. Nadia didn’t even flinch when the styrofoam cup hit the ground, nor did she bother picking it up. She stood still as time and matter moved around her, taking a few moments to process this new reality.
The last time she had seen her mother was the day her father showed up at their doorstep to take her away. Her mother was angry and besides herself, spewing words of hate at the man who was simply trying to provide a better life for their daughter. Nadia remembered the taste of her tears as she hid in her bedroom closet and cried, afraid that her mother wouldn’t allow her to leave. She remembered the booming sounds of their voices as the two argued and her mother refused to accept what was happening. At the age of nine Nadia had no real understanding of the legal system and couldn’t breathe with the fear that her mother would scare her father away for good and she’d be stuck with a woman who only acted like she had a daughter when it came of use to her. Even on her way out of the apartment, the woman tried to yank Nadia back inside and made a scene for the neighbors to see.
What Nadia felt for her mother was confusing. Sure she loved her and wished that the love was equally returned, but one thing she was sure of was that she hated the person her mother was and vowed to be nothing like her. She used to be ashamed of being herself, the bastard Masri, the daughter of a stripper who didn’t claim her daughter 75% of the time. It took years to get over it, years to accept and be proud of who she was and focus what her life was now. The return of her mother took her back to the reserved elementary school girl who never got closure and spent a good portion of her life wondering why she wasn’t enough for the woman who birthed her. These emotions were ones that Nadia didn’t want to revisit.
"Nadia?” her father asked, worried about the silence that followed his news.
Snapping out of her thoughts, Nadia looked around and shifted her eyes down to the pool of coffee at her feet squatting to pick up the now half empty cup. “Yeah?”
“She was in rehab. She needed a place to stay and claims she’s tryi—”
“Rehab?” Nadia interrupted as she stood back up. “She’s a ‘recovering’ addict now? And now you’re letting her stay?”
She heard her father sigh. “Noodles. She’s trying. It isn’t an easy situation for all of us.. She wants to see you.”
Ice creeped up her veins at his statement and she froze. “I don’t think so. I have too much going on. Send her my well wishes if you want. I have to go. Love you,” she rushed before ending the call.
She threw the coffee into a nearby trash can and walked off to her dorm with a heavy heart, confused mind, and a boatload of stress.
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