naj

[naj-mp3]

Translate

Translate my pain into a song

String the red lines on that guitar

Prepare drums of all sizes

A jack of all pains, victim to none

Cause I've been everywhere, anywhere

And I bet you have a song to lean on

You ask of mine, and all I can show

Is the mutation of a caterpillar

Watch it curl,

Full of resentment and guilt

Screaming so loud

Only at a pitch too high

Nobody hears it's song

Too messy, too broken

Nobody will translate its call

Nobody will understand its cries

[naj-mp3]

You Know?

You know how it feels?

Tell me exactly how it feels?

You know the genital of a father nestled in his daughter

You know the red flesh of a heaven-sent son

You know the sensitive skin around your inner thighs

You know the blood you would shed at home

Because you know how I feel.

Dark thoughts in your mind,

An unsolved puzzle,

While mine lay shredded

Do you know the ground shaking every day

Do you know the hidden money under the bed

Do you know the dark spot on my wrist

Do you know the angry immortal child

I fear the day I think of the constants,

The solid, steadfast, constants of my life

I may never be the person who I wish to be

And I may never get the life I long for

[naj-mp3]

Let Her Go

She's not there.

Your daughter's not there

Your little girl's dead

Wrapped in white

Did you see her body?

The cuts on her thigh,

The red on her chest,

The tears on her cheeks,

Do you see me?

The devil who led her astray

I've been waiting for years,

Practicing and praying

Pushing it down and paying

With every muscle in my body

Can you hear me?

Show mercy

If you ever loved that girl, let me go

Put down the pliers

Unlock the key

And let her go

[naj-mp3]

Late

Late to every party, every moment, every day

The only adult in a room with the brain of a child

With the heart of a tween

Tell me, what part are we on

If we're on different journeys

If our strings comes from the same rope

Why is mine already fraying

Hear the creek of my throat

Hear the rattle of my toes

See their porcelain skins

See their witty words

Tell me, if there is no right or wrong

Why am I late

Why did the train leave me behind

Why am I the oldest in this cabin.

[naj-mp3]

I Bet

I'll stare at the lilac wall

Fading paint from repetition

You ask of my faith

I don't know if I'm able

I bet you grew up with an hourglass

Instead of prayers and chiming bells

Place the cloth over me

Tie the laces, a familiar feel

And when you told me of shouting

I saw the throat of heaven

His skin red from sticks

I heard reasons to be patient

I bet you grew up with purple knees

Instead of cuts and wet thighs

Gag me for my horrid mind

Father, son, someone, anyone

And when I tried so hard to believe

I saw the years ahead of me

Corrupted by the loved

Corrupting my loved

I bet you grew up with clear water

Instead of diluted colours and rationed tissues

Despite the credit cards and savings

Still empty oceans away

I bet

The erect genetalia of his

The mat to my forehead

The trust of hers

The lack of choice

The degrading jokes of his

The millions of lost words

The sharp volume of his

The flashes of blood

The life of mine

Will be reasons to be grateful

[ib & tortured by silver spoons - Erin LeCount]

[naj-mp3]

Weary

Weary to the bone, is what I am.

And I just want the remote of time

To not move a muscle

Let the atmosphere filter my blood

Watch them speak in the light of the sun

While I stay stuck to the soil

To experience both worlds

Of light and dark

Even in light

I am reminded of those

Strangers to the moon

To the cold winds that knows

And I may never know if my soles were set free

To leap onto the tops of trees and dip my toes into the black sea

But yesterday, today, and tomorrow,

I am weary to the bone.

[naj-mp3]

so called gates

Seventeen years, again and again

Kneel and submit, submit and kneel

Press your forehead on the ground

Whisper prayers into dead wool

Wool from sheep, my own kind

Sheep who graze safe green lands

Far from the sticks, we call gates

Sheltering us from the dark forest

But the dark forest was never so dark

But our wool were merely glued by breeders of men

And why should I stay and give myself to He, Almighty Farmer

And why should I repeat the cycle for the warmth of my herd

When far away, behind the so called gates

There's a world I have never known,

A world that isn't this artificial hell hole.

[naj-mp3]

Mother

"I feel paternal urges." Says the girl I love

But

She's never scrubbed urine from the pants of a child

She's never touched faeces as the mother sleeps

She's never shed blood from a morning meltdown

She's never pleaded in guilt, "How long till he dies?"

But

I would never wish it upon the girl I love

To carry more than mental woe for a teenage girl

And I don't know if I should bring forth another one

If my adult child mind would be a good mother for my loved one

But oh mother, I see the weary in your eyes

I can not help the choice you've chosen

If willingly or not, he is the boulder below the hill

So climb and repeat the cycle

Screams.

Hits.

Tears.

So fall and repeat the cycle.

Cry.

Slap.

Fear.

So stay and repeat the cycle

As you claim, he's the key to the pearly gates

As I stare, wondering, how long before over

And how long before I become you

[naj-mp3]

Too Much

Too much rice sat in the ricecooker

I told you yesterday,

A plate of fried rice in front of me

"That's too much rice."

Last week, I told you,

"I don't like rice."

But I walked up to the ricecooker

To find too much rice

Sick to the stomache,

Too filled with rice

I told you, and I told you

But you never listen

And maybe it's not about the rice

And maybe there are people starving

But a fish won't eat a bone

And a dog won't eat algae

My heart seeks a different hold

One with no God, one with no Hell

A hold not needed to be shared

A hold not needed to be translated

If only I could manufacture my heart

To be filled with what you give

If only I could manufacture your arms

To not hold me by the neck

But the daughter is too much.

And the rice is too much.

[naj-mp3]

Countdown, Come Devil

The devil is no man

Neither is he charming or cruel

But a boy

In a plump, round body

The devil returns at eleven, too soon

My peace shattered in mere minutes, too soon

He bellows and barks, hands marking his slaves

A decade has passed, how many more will?

"He is no devil!" Outsiders scream and shout

But they don't see the scars he left

On my left thigh, on my left chest

Countdown how many decades left

Countdown, come devil

Your meal is ready.

[naj-mp3]

Count Your Tears

Count your tears, love

One, two, three

Collect them in a jar

And set them free each night

The tears that fly high above

Showering this Earth with light

Light from a fragmented soul

That you call yours

And when the night dies

And when the day dawns

Collect your tears, love

Three, two, one

[naj-mp3]

There's a world.

There's a world out there.

That nobody promised me.

A world where the sun shines each day.

A world where I can be free.

There's a world out there,

That I can call home.

A world where tears aren't poured each day,

A world where they won't have me.

There's a world out there

On the edge of the kitchen knife

Telling me, "Come with me."

"There's a world where you can be free."

world out there

far from here

won't go

not yet

not now

(ib & tortured by: Next to Normal)

[naj-mp3]

Pick My Poison

I'll flip a coin and watch it land

To see the faith of freedom I will have

Two sides of a rusted coin

With a thin, clean, untouched rim

I'm gonna scream

I'm gonna shout

But the coin always falls flat,

Never on its side

I'll swallow my rage

I'll swallow my cries

"Others have it worse."

And I know I'm so tired

But what if one day

The coin lands on it's side

Shielding me far from either side

So I'll live another day and flip the coin

Letting it pick my poison

Just for another day

[naj-mp3]

LOUD!!!

Only ME!!

ME!

ME!

ME!

My voice, a disarray of trumpets!

My hands, echoing drums of thunder!

Young or old, I'll never stray from here

Genitalia of lust, out in the air

Brain overfilled, guarding my body

Free from complexities you face in your days

Chaining you to my ankles, forever my slave

Bow to me, confine your discomfort

You can never hurt me, only me

Hear my stomp as my creators watch from afar

Feel my rumble as you dream of a different life

[naj-mp3]

King and Peasant

King Gluttony's legs are spread

Taking space on the just mopped tiles

As his grubby fingers run over 3 plates

2 cups and 1 mouth that screams orders

King Wrath's feet are heavy

Stomping with fury on the cracked tiles

As his throat horns a yell full of anger

Anger of his own desires, we cannot comprehend

Peasant Silence's tongue is tied

By the hands of foreign lands far from home

As he waits for the King's next command

He watches his unfaithful fate come near

Peasant Anger's fists are bruised

By his own fear to calm the king

As he cries every dusk to sleep

The Gods stay jolly while he weeps

[naj-mp3]

Pretty Feline

Pretty feline, come my way

With your pebble pink pads

With your olive sharp eyes

My love for you so large, so heavy

I sneeze my gratitude when you touch me

My eyes bulge red, my body itches

For the doctor prescribed me a pill

For an allergy of lovin' you too dearly

[naj-mp3]

Unconditionally

One day, I hope to wake up under the stars

My usually braided hair, loose between fingers

And my legs, bare, under a hand woven blanket

With no strings attatched, I, one day, find myself to be loved