| ༊*·˚ husband!nanami x black!fem!reader
mentions of ed & sh
You were always been open to your husband about your mental health problems. You told him about your teenage years and the scars you carried because of it the way your mindset had changed ever since but Nanami never judged you for your scars nor your relationship with food. You told him this in college way back when you were both "friends". He kissed the scars that followed up your arms and even the ones on your right thigh that nobody but you knew about somehow he knew. He did it not in a sexual way but in way of love. A type of love you never thought you would deserve or even get in this lifetime.
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It started small you’d realize after a while your late 20’s made your body change your thighs were softer and rubbed together when u walked the plush softness of your tummy that you were reminded of it anytime you sat down. You would nitpick at yourself in the mirror the way your scars faded some light some a few shades shade darker than you skin even the stretch marks on your lower ass that you’d sworn wasn’t there a few months ago. All this made you feel as if you were trapped in a foreign skin; it felt disgusting to be yourself and no matter how much Kento said he loved and adored you somehow you convinced yourself he was lying and only stuck with you this long because he didn’t want the trouble that comes with divorce.
“Why wouldn’t he be fed up with you?” you told yourself. It was no shock that Nanami Kento was a good looking man. Even though he didn’t fight curses any longer his strong figure stayed in shape. His arms that would hold you and spread your thighs while your hands grasp at his golden locks all while his hazel eyes looked up at you every now and again to catch your expressions talking you through it all with the deep husk of his voice you loved. Even outside the bedroom he treated you with so much care, no matter the hour he came home he would come to you cupping your face tenderly in his large arms kissing you softly and asking about your work day, he’d spoil you both with affection physically and emotionally. What woman wouldn’t want him?
The thing is almost every women did. You’d hear whispers when going out with him sometimes people said it loud enough as if they wanted you to hear them
“He’s so out of her league”
“It’s like charity work”
“What bet did he lose?”
Whenever he heard people he’d shut them down right away defending you his beautiful wife he never left room for people to insult you and always made it a priority to let people know not to disrespect you.
At dinners when kento took you out you’d scan the menu it would feel as if the calories were floating around your meal. He didn’t know the track you kept on your phone and how you’d have to take more steps in the morning to cancel out everything. You couldn’t stomach to eat the food it felt like guilt and shame one bite made you feel oily and disgusting.
| Notes
4 pizza slices- 1k calories (do extra steps since you couldn’t control yourself)
diet coke - 0 calories
bag of chips- 160 calories
“Babe are you alright? You haven’t touched anything” Nanami questioned you with a worried expression. Normally you’d try his food and even beg him to switch with you, which he did. Sometimes you’d both order dessert after to treat your sweet tooth, he’d love the smile on your face you had when tasting new treats and offering him a bite from your spoon even though he had his own
“m’fine ken im just not feeling well is all” you replied with a smile
You couldn’t fully get into until you saw the numbers dropping it felt like an addiction watching the numbers drop you were almost at your goal but yet the plush of your thighs never went away it sickened you. With the weight loss naturally people complimented you on your figure saying how lucky it must be to be so fit, what they didn’t know was the feeling of constantly being angry due to hunger or how you’d feel dizzy at random times on work making the words on your computer blur rather so they didn’t know how you hovered over the toilet with the sink running making sure every last drop was out.
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It had been a long day of work rather so all Nanami wanted to do was come home to his wife loving her (you) and pleasing you in all the ways you loved. But when his afforts to pleasure you came you’d push him away.
“You look so beautiful tonight my love let me just show you how much i love you hm?” he murmured into your skin peppering you with kisses but you slightly pushed him off
“Not tonight ken…i have a headache” truth is you’d love to be under him more than anything but the thought of being fully undressed under him while he saw every part of you made you shiver. He saw you before yes, but with your insecurities rising again the idea seemed foreign.
Kento the ever so gentleman would never be angry if you didn’t do anything with him but he started noticing changes in your behavior. He felt how you’d gotten smaller, when you would slightly flinch when he touched you, how you’d cover the bathroom mirror when you showered or brushed your teeth. When he asked you about it you’d blame it on the steam when in reality it was that you couldn’t stand looking at yourself anymore.
He often thought about these and overtime it grew more alarming his suspicions were made clear when he got a call from one of your few friends Shoko who was a doctor at the local hospital.
“It’s y/n she fainted at work I need you to come in” her voices echoed through the phone. He immediately dropped everything not even explaining to his boss why he had to go something happened to you and that was more important than any job.
When he arrived, you were already sleeping when he saw you his heart broke you were so thin, yet he didn’t notice enough. He blamed it on work rather so trusting the promise you both made that anytime it got bad again you’d tell him. At your bedside he held your arms the same arm with the scars he kissed all those years ago mumbling how sorry he was for letting you feel like you weren't beautiful, god he wished he told you more he wished he questioned you more when you stopped carrying lunches to work and insisted you were going with coworkers for lunch every detail he should have noticed came crashing down on him he almost lost you and almost losing you is what made him notice all the signs.
“her blood pressure is low and it seems like she’s lost a lot of weight… a unhealthy amount that it’s almost fatal” Shoko told him. Nanami felt his heart tighten glancing at you on the hospital bed seeing you asleep looking so peaceful yet you were here struggling with thoughts of insecurity, he wished he could take all the pain you felt and take it on himself. In his eyes nothing could make you anything less than beautiful from now on he promised himself to keep an extra eye on you.
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After a few weeks you were discharged the hospital assigned therapy sessions and one of them your husband was invited to come along. He listened to how you never truly felt comfortable in your own skin how you knew he’d love you no matter what but yet thoughts lingered, it pained him to hear but yet he helped you through out all of it. On days during recovery when simple meals felt like a binge and guilt washed over you he’d be there, times when your reflection felt like something foreign he was there slowly but surely he helped you to feel some sort of normalcy onto the road to recovery.
an: i’ve haven’t posted due to some personal problems and also exams but after exams around june i’ll start to post more often (◞‸◟) !!