dear diary,

she/her, 25, ace spectrum ,mentally unstable, feminist

[nanatheace]

[sarcasticbookaddict]

Jane Austen was really out there 200 years ago writing lines like “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more” that to this day are still so swoon-worthy.

[nanatheace]

Since it's ace awareness week I thought I write a little about it

Asexuality has such a wide variety on how someone experiences their asexuality. I, for example, am rather sex repulsed but I do crave hugs and kisses. Some might enjoy sex and engage in it and some might want to never have to do something with this topic.

When I talked to my friend that i am ace they did not really know much about it. They thought it was just like "eww sex" but that is not it. Sometimes I meet people (mostly man) who replay on me being ace "oh I can fix you" - no Brad there is nothing that needs to be fixed. Not experiencing sexual attraction does not make you broken or any less valuable.

I found my little ace community and I am so thankful for it ! But sometimes it's hard to be so positive about my sexuality all the time. I too struggle with thoughts like: "they wouldn't want to date / be with me because what would I have to offer ?" Stuff like this makes it very hard to stay positive in this hookup culture. nevertheless you should not define yourself after what people want you to be or how you should act.

You are valid .

[paper-heartt]

⠀⠀⨟ 이 무드 보드가 사랑으로 만들어 졌으면 좋겠 ⠀ ⠀ 토시로의 사랑으로 ໑ ⛳🌷🦋 ⤿

[2soye-blog-deactivated20220522]

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bhwaz1vAVez/

[ablogofnature]

https://instagram.com/p/BTu-sH1DF4l/

[nanatheace]

QUEENS MYSTIC GENERAL STORE

[venus-garden]

[nanatheace]

I love my new tattoo !

[lady-vogue-deactivated20230306]

[nanatheace]

I just cant get the thought out of my head that Eddie can hear bella use the toilet - and this in all detail.

Maybe it's just me but this thought makes me uncomfortable

[compsigh]

ddulggae

[nanatheace]

Idk if someone posted something like this before , BUT:

I feel like bella, eddie and resume keep on visiting charlie and sue for christmas etcetera - not just maybe for 5 or 10 years but like until charlie dies. He definitely knows that Ed, bella and resume aren't normal human beings but he also knows that they aren't like Jacob. Charlie is a very reserved and quiet person and I feel like he just accepts the fact that they are different. He won't ask many questions about it and will live his life just as normal. Also we have Sue Clearwater in this whole situation. So charlie will be surrounded by people who know about everything so he will be kind of a part of it too. But as already said, he wont know exactly what's going on but he will be a part of it- accepting it- because he loves his daughter and even though she is different now he will always love her and doesnt want to lose her.

[nanatheace]

Daily struggle as an (het) ace:

I crave being close to somebody - physically. I crave holding hands, cuddling ...

But I get so angry when I think of men my age and how they sexualize women... - I am more angry with myself for thinking only bad about men but each new day just makes it harder and harder for me to believe there are actually men out there who would accept me as I am and me not wanting to have sex. I am tired of men telling me they could 'fix' me...

At some point I even told myself to accept that I probably should just get another cat and try to live my life without having a partner(like ever).

Society itself doesnt seem to accept the fact some people dont want to have sex.

[freitag-ist-rosa]

so viele möglichkeiten

so viele möglichkeiten wehen durch die nacht doch keine mag so ganz passen von all diesen denkbaren welten die naheliegendste ergreifen: im bett liegen und durch das fenster in den nachthimmel sehen einfach nur da sein wie ein graureiher am ufer stehen und abwarten

© 2021 — Freitag ist Rosa

[seanklingelhoefer]

At home

Bushwick, Brooklyn, NY 2021.

Yashica T4 zoom | Kodak Portra 800

[nanatheace]

Daily thought:

Is it a crush or a hyperfixation?