gave in to the impulses again

Beck | 24 | any pronouns lesbian | dusting off this account after my @hetphobicvmin twitter era

[the-muppet-joker]

I do have to say, though, I finally get the onceler self-cest craze (for context, I was fucking my Kermit the Frog plushie with passionate vigor, as always, when suddenly I received a vision from God (for context, I grew up Catholic and have since renounced my faith on account of God being kind of a dick, but he still sends me visions sometimes because he's like a needy ex lowkey and also I'm kiiiiind of a big deal and also a god of death myself (for context I'm a Light Yagami kin)) anyways in the vision Kermit turned into the Muppet Joker as I always envisioned him in human form (for context, the Muppet Joker was an OC I roleplayed as on tumblr because I am Le Epic Troll, but then I gave it up because my dedication to writing Tumblr Fake Stories was causing me to neglect my wife and my son) but ANYWAYS my self-insert tumblr OC had possessed my Kermit doll which had caused it to start going all TOXIC YAOI on me because of the Muppet Joker's bitterness at being retired as a character (for context any time you tell a Tumblr Fake Story it comes to life and tries to kill you) so for sure the kermit doll is now evil but on the PLUS SIDE the sex is amazing)

[catch57]

[the-muppet-joker]

Like you KNOW Oscar the Grouch keep that pussy stanky

[the-muppet-joker]

Kermit just growled and leaned in close, squeezing possessively around my Member, and asked, "what exactly are you posting, my love? Remember, this hole can grow teeth any time" im sorry Alpha I'll never do it again

[the-muppet-joker]

Is it suddenly a crime to love your alpha as an omega?? Is it getting a little too freaky on the Muppet Sex Blog?? What did you expect to see when you came here?? You can't go to the devil's sacrament and scream when you see a ghoul

[the-muppet-joker]

Light Yagami thrusted blindly into his Kermit the Frog plushie.

"Kyaaaa~!" He said.

He had a silk blindfold obscuring his vision, to make the experience kinkier, and also, more mysterious.

But there was one crucial issue:

The blindfold was eliminating his sight, the most powerful of his senses.

Light was a detective. One of the smartest in the world, as L himself (the even more smartest detective in the world) had personally asked him to work on the Kira case (Kira is the name of the anonymous serial killer who was using the death note to kill people. Light is Kira but right now he doesn't remember it because he erased his memory. This is because -- you know what just watch death note and then keep reading).

Without his sight, Light had to rely on his genius mind to deduce the location of Kermit's hole, but as animalistically horny as he was, his deductions were failing him and flailing, his dong met air instead of felt again and again. He shrieked in frustration.

Suddenly, a hand(?!?!?) touched his penis. A skin hand from a man! Blindfolded, Light gasped blushing ,

"Whaat?? W-where is this hand coming from??"

A dark chuckle.

"It sounds like my own voice!' Thought Light.

"It's me, Kira," came the voice that sounded like Evil Light. "I was Kermit and then I turned into Evil You. I was Evil You all along."

"BUT-" Light gasped, "You're Kira and you said you are? Evil me??? I'm not Kira!!"

Kira smirked. "You forgot you who really are. I will not let you forget!" And he stroked him up and down and up and down while Light blushed and bit his lip and gasped

"You're really good as sex," Light gasped.

"You ain't seen nothin yet," said Kira from death note.

Then he got out the Jrap on (

[e8luhs]

i have this very funny teenage boy coworker who has decided his job is to clock in just to piss me off. but hes quite respectful about it despite the whole being a teenage boy thing. i had a night not that long ago where i was dealing with a bunch of bullshit as is + my knee was flaring up so i was cranky and in pain and he said something and i was like "dude im not in the mood". so he was like "oh. do you work tomorrow" and i was like "...... yeah???" and he was like "okay can i ragebait you tomorrow then" and i was just like "you know what. yeah sure" because i mean if youre going to be polite about it yknow

[meimetchi-deactivated20251007]

gooodbyee 200 dollars helloo piece of pleastic

[steveandscraggy]

had a dream that they hard launched with a video called Basically We Are Gay For Each Other and we immediately made the acronym BWAGFEO (pronounced bwog fee oh). anyway. bwagfeo is real to me. it’s my Goncharov

[rpftourney]

Best RPF Ship - FINAL!

Phan (Phil Lester/Daniel Howell, Youtube RPF) vs Jedus (Jesus of Nazareth/Judas Iscariot, World History & The Bible)

Phan

Jedus

Voting ended onDec 2, 2024

[thinkingabout-girls]

i am so so normal about media and have exactly zero mental illnesses

[fellshish]

Tumblr every nov 5th

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[piedoesnotequalpi]

at the polling place. straight up "exercising it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My right to vote.

[pansexual-lilychen]

[taibhsearachd]

[4x01]

just had to take a fucking second and close my eyes because i remembered that on the night of november 5th tumblr had convinced me, an outsider, that this was an actual gif of Castiel Supernatural being sent to mega fruit hell

[oobsie-daisy]

We all learnin’ today ig…

[the-sapphic-raven]

Its from the 1997 movie ‘Spawn’ if anyone was curious

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

btw this is the actual footage of castiel getting dragged to super hell

[maple-cloak]

[bogleech]

Both spawn and venom were designed by todd mcfarlane…..omg nature is a circle

[kafiguas]

[beguilingcorpse]

[iiota]

refraining from a lot of election joke posting and instead I just donated $55 USD to gaza soup kitchen and i encourage anyone else to consider donating even a couple of dollars to the people who will be affected the most from whatever outcome happens

you can also donate to care for gaza here