Notes: For @narkik-weekend + Naraku’s thoughts + was originally just a poem
I’ve almost forgotten you by now.
I’m watching graves being woken up by the odd musings of the universe and I laugh bitterly as death bounds me, wondering why I’m so befuddled by someone like you.
Someone who is elusive, someone who can create all this pandemonium.
Who am I if you don’t exist? In a sense, I suppose I am indebted to you.Â
I kept asking myself: why can’t I kill her, why can’t I tear her soul away from the flesh-blooded world and drag her down under here with me. This thing you hold against me is vulgar and it grows and grows and grows. All it does is grow. But it’s as good as dead to me for what it has done. It doesn’t scratch the surface on why I loathe you. Why I want to break you. Oh but Kikyo, now I understand why when I killed you some 50 years ago, my heart screamed your name and declared war against me.
I pushed it down towards some unknown abyss. Of course, I sealed it tight. I thought I’d never see you again. And all that was left of that human heart was the grief and frailty this fool Onigumo has cursed me with.
I still hear him from time to time.
All he wants to do is take, take, take. Suffer, suffer, suffer.Â
And yet, you despise me and not him. Yes, I know I’m morbid without a body to possess as my own. Yes, this young prince had abandoned ship the second I consumed him, withering in a drought I bestowed onto his ill-prepared, naive, poor soul. So unlike yours, Kikyo. I’d try to consume you too only to find that the single release of an arrow can penetrate and destroy my entire being. The puppets I’ve sewn returned to its soot and ash and I once dreamt of us sleeping in the same grave. Day in & day out. In some serene, lost era that was unreal. But if you keep lurking, if you keep dancing everytime I close my eyes, I swear I will go mad enough to make it a reality.
And somehow, in that abyss, I distinctly wonder if this ever means more to you. Do you feel the same hatred I feel about this? Do you feel it seeping into the air you breathe too?
Because what’s the point if you don’t remember Onigumo or this disgusting life I’m bound to hell for you. You should’ve been selfish. You should’ve used the sacred jewel when you had the chance.
In this body (or scraps from hell) I possess, you don’t see me.You see the absence of life, or the amalgamation of the monsters in the realm that sits beneath us.
You see a sick memory you regret and I will make sure it is never forgotten.