Sometimes you don't realize how good you have it, until you've spent only two days away from it...
Fai_Ryy
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Origami Around

Kiana Khansmith
EXPECTATIONS

Discoholic 🪩

Product Placement
cherry valley forever
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
The Bowery Presents

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

JVL
YOU ARE THE REASON
Misplaced Lens Cap
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
ojovivo
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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seen from Malaysia

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@nashah-blog
Sometimes you don't realize how good you have it, until you've spent only two days away from it...
#nostalgia #obsessivesearching
Victory
Jai ho.
So much ahead
Painted Laidies in San Francisco.
still need it.
painted ladies.
I need this.
Fear of the Known
I can't sleep. I can't eat. So distracted that I can't even live in the moment.
My life has been so tiered-- so scaffolded-- that I have always known what was going to happen next. There was always a plan. Now, even though I am part of such an amazing and fulfilling organization, I have never been more "off track". I am still uncomfortable here and I don't know what is going to happen after this year. But the thought of knowing that there is still something stable in my life, something that I believe so strongly is the absolute right thing in my life, almost makes me act out and potentially destroy it. I have never been more scared in my entire life because I have no idea how this year is going to go, yet I have dropped everything to invest in it. This unknown scares me so much to the point that I am compensating by fighting for something else that I am completely confident in and making sure that is running smoothly. But herein lies the problem, this unnecessary questioning-- this constant need for reassurance-- builds so much pressure on others that it weighs them down to the point where they cannot move. I know that if I keep smothering this flame, it will not be able to breath and will quickly turn into cinders.
Why do I fight to be included? So childish, in that I sometimes feel inadequate or that I am not worth it. Have I not grown up? I have to realize that there are times when it is necessary to have moments alone with the others that you love. I am sorry. I know who I really am, it was just a momentary lapse in judgement, perhaps a rough week. I am realizing now that there is beauty in not knowing something. Just being completely vulnerable to what is about to happen. Some things work out and other things don't, but when I put so much at stake, that is when things start to crumble.
There is only one thing that I want. And there is only one question that needs to be asked.
for my love, whom I cannot stop thinking of...
in the mood... for this food
The Quiet World In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eyes more, and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day. When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way. Late at night, I call my long distance lover, proudly say I only used fifty-nine today. I saved the rest for you. When she doesn’t respond, I know she’s used up all her words, so I slowly whisper I love you thirty-two and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line and listen to each other breathe.
Jeffrey McDaniel (via pleasetakemebysurprise)
My eternal battle with...
…SPICY FOOD.
THEY’RE THE TASTIEST THINGS ON EARTH.
YET MY MOUTH DESPISES THE FIERY PIQUANCY OF SUCH FOODS.
why must i inherit the weak tongue ):
btdubs I had Spicy Curry Fettuccine; Indalian Cuisine courtesy of a Filipino woman
Sports Park 60 by Wibit
All I need.
the pain of disconnect
Just a gigantic concrete slab in the middle of a relationship. Perhaps (4 hours) a wall, maybe even the Berlin Wall (but not a piece you are allowed to touch in the Newseum). Not so much writer's block, because my mind is still stirring. I cannot find the right things to say, but the problem is thinking I need to say only the right things. What happened to talking about meaningless, yet completely worthwhile, moments in our lives. It doesn't always have to be deep, intelligent, stimulating material. Its realizing the precious moments of being within eachother's voices. Listening to her words, while at the same time knowing and picturing her exact mannerisms. Knowing that the inflection in her voice when talking about something exciting makes her spastic and talk so fast it becomes unintelligible. She can become so overwhelmingly happy that the angle made from the tilt in her head is so acute, it almost seems humanly impossible. Or when she is hungry, her eyes open wide in a way that gives them their own gravitational pull that one cannot look away. Just bringing her Shrimp Gyoza, or Croissants with blackberry jam, or Chicken McNuggets at 3 AM along with some Arrested Development settles her stomach. I would like to think that its the person that brings it to her that is settling and sometimes I believe it is. Knowing that no matter what the tantrum and no matter how difficult it is to pull her out of the fetal position in the hallway of an apartment building-- I am still able to, just by saying the word "Falafel". I sometimes even try to study around her knowing full and well I wouldn't get a single thing done. A potential source of our disconnect might be that I am too focused on my work; My attention is not squandered like it usually is because my wonderful and much needed distraction is not physically present to help detract from this monotonous and all-consuming test. Sure, she might also swing her arms at me and purse her lips in order to get my attention, but her attempts are futile. Because I haven't been able to stop paying attention to her in the first place.
It is recognizing that her anger or frustration will cause her to mess around with the belt straps of her jeans. Or search her pockets for something small, just so she can carefully, yet, meticulously rip it apart. As if it were a symbol of what she would like to do to the person standing in front of her. Making sure not to make eye contact because it hurts so bad to actually feel this way and hoping so purely that what she is feeling is only transient. Or maybe its that when she locks eyes it becomes too difficult to stay this mad, but she is too strong to let that stand in her way. She will not be victim to... feelings or emotions, what is that? Just simple observations make me fall so desperately in love with her over and over again because I feel so attached in knowing her every movement. She has this inspiring nature that makes me want to be better, but also has no shame in being vulgar when the situation calls for it. This ability to not be passive and just say what needs to be said, plain and simple, no bullshit. To an artist she might seem like a muse, but to me she is everything I am not. She opens my rationally driven, formulaic world to a different realm of understanding and makes me feel things I didn't know I even had the capacity to feel. In the words of Shakespeare, "I miss thee".
"One half of me is yours, the other half yours Mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, And so all yours."
-Merchant of Venice
My first entry...
THOSE SNEAKERS THO
Open your ears; for which of you will stop The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks? I, from the orient to the drooping west, Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold The acts commenced on this ball of earth: Upon my tongues continual slanders ride, The which in every language I pronounce, Stuffing the ears of men with false reports. I speak of peace, while covert enmity Under the smile of safety wounds the world: And who but Rumour, who but only I, Make fearful musters and prepared defence, Whiles the big year, swoln with some other grief, Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war, And no such matter? Rumour is a pipe Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures And of so easy and so plain a stop That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, The still-discordant wavering multitude, Can play upon it. But what need I thus My well-known body to anatomize Among my household? Why is Rumour here? I run before King Harry’s victory; Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops, Quenching the flame of bold rebellion Even with the rebel’s blood. But what mean I To speak so true at first? my office is To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell Under the wrath of noble Hotspur’s sword, And that the king before the Douglas’ rage Stoop’d his anointed head as low as death. This have I rumour’d through the peasant towns Between that royal field of Shrewsbury And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone, Where Hotspur’s father, old Northumberland, Lies crafty-sick: the posts come tiring on, And not a man of them brings other news Than they have learn’d of me: from Rumour’s tongues They bring smooth comforts false, worse than true wrongs.
August 8th
Beyond my understanding, but I have someone to help me.
Rumour Henry IV Part Two William Shakespeare
(goddammit billy knows how to start a play!)