museum of life

trying to stay afloat.

[nashyayy]

learning to not bite,

not feigning ignorance to apricity this time

[nashyayy]

Eleanor Oliphant, a fictional character I connected to on the deepest level one possibly can.

I knew I was going to like this book, I didn't know it would make such a unique and lasting impression on me.

Lately I have been feeling very tiny, like my existence is miniscule in my life- life meaning all of it with all of my relations, my emotions and the responsibilities but this book helped me to a state where I thought I am not small or an inconsequential matter , I am a part of every aspect of my life...if that makes sense.

How terribly I wished that the last page wasn't the last one, that the pages behind these one weren't filled with acknowledgements..the book felt so complete yet I yearned for more.

I can read a hundred more monologues from Eleanor, I wish to see more of Raymond, I can definitely read a lot more about Eleanor's visits to Raymond's mom.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

My heart dropped when I came to the "bad days" assuming the book is going to end with something terrible..and when it came to "better days" I couldn't stop myself from smiling ear to ear.

I want to recommend this to anyone who hasn't read it and urge the ones who have read this to recommend me something similar to this!!!

[nashyayy]

اللَّهُمَّ أَجِرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وَاخْلُفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا

إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ

"O Allah, reward me in my calamity and replace it for me with something better."

"Surely, we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return."

[nashyayy]

the blazing fire of redamancy ended in undefined silence,

stone cold, the supper we envisaged.

[the both of us]

~n.s.

[nashyayy]

I want to exist without my mind, I want to breakthrough the shackles of my brain, I no more want to feed it my sanity.

[nashyayy]

I envy the river's flow, how it never allows itself to be stagnant and if otherwise it completely changes it's being. still water is never a river...a lake, a pond, a puddle but never a river.

~n.s.

[nashyayy]

you are nothing but an inconvenience in my memory, the comeuppance of my bare heart's dance.