how the fuck do you claim to be pro-misinfo while having three """ endos """ on your fucking staff team. do fucking better.
I straighten my tie, smooth the front of my suit one last time before I finally open the thick, ornate door. The wedding planner rushes at me, fussy and anxious to get me into place. Less than two minutes later, I'm standing at the altar, waiting.
Organ music rings heavy through the hall, echoing off the high ceilings and reverberating in my chest, drowning out my nervous, hammering pulse. It was a long, long road to get to this point, but I was ready.
I'm lost in thoughts and happy memories as the processional begins, barely noticing the steadily growing crowd around me on the stage, but it doesn't take the sudden hush that falls over the room to tell me that you've arrived. I probably noticed you first, my eyes immediately drawn to you, and it was as if I was seeing you again for the first time. A tear forms in the corner of my eye, and I quickly wipe it away, willing composure onto myself.
This was really happening.
It feels like it took you years to get down the aisle, until you were finally standing in front of me. You look... kind of weird, honestly, but that's okay. You look about the same as you always do, though now there's lipstick smeared across your razor thin mouth to give the illusion of symmetrical, luscious lips. I cut the officiant off before he can start, taking your small, strange lizard hands in my own.
Swallowing thickly, I avoid your gaze. It's hard, though, because your bulging, golden chameleon eyes keep swiveling around, simultaneously looking for a tasty treat as you try to anticipate what I'm about to say.
"Anon... This is the worst ask I've ever gotten. I can't do this."
If you had actual lips, I'm sure you would have looked... sad, or shocked maybe. I don't really know. You were always hard to read. And now neither of your eyes are looking at me. I hate it when you do that. It's creepy.
No, so I whip out my rad sunglasses and throw up an L before my best man turns into a skateboard.
I do a sick kick flip and ride out of the church and into the sunset.