Violet Bridgerton spent the first two seasons telling her children who was good for them, dragging them, reluctantly, to balls and events and parties. And she saw that her normal methods were clearly not working and it would only result in a very long process of her children not listening to her, going after someone else, doing the complete opposite of what they should, causing a scandal and then finally going after the very same person who, she had told is right for them.
I love that she evolved her methods and reached the conclusion that the only way to make her children listen to her is by gaslighting them.
So instead of telling Colin, "You know, I think Penelope Featherington is right for you". She told him, "Oh you're helping your friend get a husband? That's wonderful darling." "Oh you don't want to come to the ball? That's completely fine. It's just a shame that you won't get to see Penelope Featherington get proposed tonight, after all the hard work you did to help her. But what can you do if you're not feeling well, right?"