JVL
sheepfilms
Keni
Product Placement
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
d e v o n
🪼
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Stranger Things
wallacepolsom
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Mike Driver
cherry valley forever
roma★
h
Andulka
Love Begins
occasionally subtle
Noah Kahan
seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Poland
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
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@nauseoussuggestion
spent nights talking about the pain of men not reciprocating care and you did just that. i miss what we were and want you to come back to me so fucking bad. i miss you and its over. i have been trying to grow and heal and detach. i texted you and i probably shouldnt have and it makes me feel like i havent become the person you want to be with even more. this wont work and i know it.
love is not anxiety and hesitancy and sacrifice, but i love you.
my stomach hurts whenever im around you. how do i say that love is my biggest, biggest project. i can dedicate buildings and worlds around loving you, around staring at your chest and tracing my eyes around the way hair grows, scars healed. love is my biggest project, i sit in the car and think of how your hands look on the wheel and how your pants feel on my fingers. love is my biggest project, you smile so fucking cute.
i could self harm as much as i want here and no one would know and therefore no one would care so idk whats stopping me
to be honest, ive been planning our wedding
i think we become brittle without nourishment from the sun. my stringed bones, which previously was on the way to being hardened, are decomposing. flame alit, it cracks and begins to turn to dust.
i used to fantasize about what kind of romance jesus and judas had with each other. now that i know you, i spend my time fantasizing what it might be like if we could get high together and i could wear your sweaters and you could teach me how to skate and i could choose different places for us to explore and walk through. now that i know you, i wonder what it’d be like if i knew you. if i knew what your family dynamics were. if i knew what made you laugh. if i knew what kind of soda you liked. i like to fantasize that you would be my friend. and i doubt this will ever happen and thats shits.
i dont want to say i love you, but i care for you deeply. i dont know if that holds any weight to you.
you are a good person. and in my definition a good person is someone who allows themselves to change, to unlearn the trauma and the oppressive system you have grown up in, to acknowledge that the problems are present in your actions and to grow. you are a good person who values being kind to others, and that is simple and something i want to stamp and validate if no one else has ever done that for you. it isn’t within my bounds to do so. i admire you greatly, and i want to call you darling and babe and love and boyfriend. i want to be able to grow with you and eventually say “i love you.” it isn’t within my bounds to do so. so i might just write poetry and hold my breath and adore you from afar.
you are beautiful. your smile is genuine and mischievous and attentive. i want to run my hands through your hair and hold you close. hold your beauty within my arms the way god might hold the sun close to her chest. i love your beauty. i love your light. i love the way you hold yourself. i want to hold your hand in mine and kiss each knuckle. i want to press my head against your chest and check off all possible cliches in every gay romance cliche ive ever witnessed. i want to sneak onto the roof after a long late night walk and kiss you under the unseen stars and talk about the effects of light pollution.
unrelated though josh, you are not responsible for the emotions and fantasies i have for you. it’s not your burden to bear, so i’m sorry for imposing this on you.
i’m better because i’m not thinking of suicide and cutting myself at every instance, but i’m worse because i don’t talk to people about my problems anymore and have abandoned all the good things in my life. i’m more functional because i make better small talk, but i can’t maintain whole relationships and have become inept at comforting and talking about anything remotely serious.
me giving me reasons not to kill myself but ultimately deciding to do it anyways bc i have no good voice of reason
youre supposed to be my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why cant you give me a response!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why cant you ever ask anything of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why cant ppl just fucking,,,,, acknowledge that im so fucking depressed
why the fuck am i sooo depressed ffff
write me a love poem
i feel. no hope in my life
i want to feel like kissing boys and liking lip gloss makes me even more of a man who is in love with men. i want to feel that our love is a witness to god and a testimony of good stuff. and so much of that want craves attention and dignity from the institutional church. and it sucks bc i probably will never be able to see that so wide spread
i wanna get gay catholic married :( and be seen by all as a man and a son of god and nothing less