ねむい

stories strung together, pulled from the depths of my subconscious

[nefelidiaries]

April 13, 2026

Conked Out: 12:30am

Dreams: Nawp

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Slept almost a whole 12 hours, I fell asleep in the middle of a youtube video because I was so tired from heat and travel. Probably one of the best sleeps I’ve had in a long time. Eyes felt groggy but I felt alive and strong while drinking my morning glass of water (always a good sign)

[nefelidiaries]

April 7, 2026

Conked Out: 2:28 AM

Dreams: Nawp

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Eyes blurry with strain, woke up alright, a little dizzy still. Stayed up reading a book instead of being on my phone so it was a little better in some ways. I woke up and read my book for an hour which felt nice. My eyes felt heavy last night but I didn’t feel want to sleep until they were nearly closing. I wonder what I have to do in order to really make a change about my sleep schedule. Is the answer brute force?

[deepseasmetro]

if you think for even just a second how fucking crazy bonkers it is that women are so frequently kept from being protagonists or important or fully realized characters when its like. That is literally 50% of the world population. Half of all people (more or less. hopefully more as time marches on!) are women. And you look at media and think about how many protagonists are men and their best friends are men and the ensemble cast is 80-100% men and the fandoms are about men and the romances are about men. well. YOU GO INSANE

[nefelidiaries]

April 6, 2026

Conked Out: 1:37 AM

Dreams: Nawp

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️

Earlier than 2am but woke up bleary eyed again. The sleep was okay but nothing spectacular honestly. At least my feet don’t hurt as much as yesterday. I wish I could wake up and it would all feel okay. I think the heat and stress from doing thesis are really weighing down on me, even in my subconscious. Head was a little heavy when I got up. Sleep is the big healing but I keep avoiding it. sigh

[nefelidiaries]

April 3, 2026

Conked Out: 2:45 AM

Dreams: Yawp

I can’t really fully make sense of the whole thing but I remember it seemed to be something sexual or related to that. There’s a small dark room in my dream, maybe a kitchen where I stayed. There were other people but all of their faces are hazy to me now.

Sleep Quality: ⭐️⭐️

Woke up rested but definitely tired when my alarms rang, this was on me again I stayed up reading manhwa then switched to a book until I got too tired to keep my eyes open. Honestly since that first month (January) when my sleep schedule wasn’t shot yet while I was trying to improve it, is so difficult to get back on to. I think it’s because uni gives me a lot of feelings I haven’t sorted through and the stress keeps me awake because I’m scared of facing the next day. Not new but I really want better to sleep because better sleep means >>> waking up more prepared and rested for school and life; having better brain functioning and processing throughout the day and overall just a better mood!!

I am happier when I am well rested but its so easy to slip back into bad habits.

[nefelidiaries]

April 2, 2026

So I’ve decided to also use this account as an unofficial sleep tracker, just to see how things improve while I’m trying to change my sleeping habits

Conked Out: 12:43am

Dreams (Y/N): Nawp

Sleep Quality (out of 5 stars): ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The sleep was pretty good, better than my recent 3am snoozes, I definitely felt more rested and recovered from my colds!

I feel more awake and alert, I did wake in the early hours because I felt itchy and hot (it do be the summertimes) but other than a slightly fitful sleep it was generally peaceful overall. Eyes were definitely tired when I woke but after some time they don’t feel too heavy compared to previous days.

[nefelidiaries]

01.02.24

Welp here we go

My timelines has somehow managed to collide with a different one, I was sent to this alternate universe in order to figure out how to save mine. This one seems to be semi-apocalyptic and when I first arrive I stick out like a sore thumb but someone approaches me under the guise of being an authority figure but when he gets closer he tells me one of my classmates sent him to take care of me. Somehow they coordinated with the people from my timeline.

I start attending school, living in a rundown abandoned shed, subscribing to the system of this universe. (The dream is slipping away from me even at this moment) If you don’t follow the rules you will be punished or taken away. You’re not allowed to have much of your own thing and the “house” I lived in was barely a house, it was more like a dingy room.

I remember feeling scared but thankfully my classmates in this timeline were very welcoming and understanding.

SETTING

Here are some things I remember about the setting:

Entering the world/universe — It seemed to be snowing, the land was gray and caked in snow. Large metal “warehouse” like structures stood along one side and a medium-height wall on the other. There was a red gate, nothing thick or heavy but similar instead to the house gates here in my country just exceptionally large.

The classroom — was your typical classroom, had a TV and a PC equipped to it for lessons. When the teacher was coming in, we had to quickly exit applications we had opened. I remember I was talking to someone over a messaging app, I had to rush back to close it because something incriminating was on it.

The house — a small rectangular structure with barely a bed laden with fabrics and blankets, a small food storage unit, and a small stove. The structure while enclosed, at the joints had exposed slits/seams through which snow could be seen.

[nefelidiaries]

08.05-06.24

The dreams are pretty intense but they’re hazy in my memory when I wake up. My dream on the night if the fifth, I wrote down bullet points because I thought I could make sense of them later but honestly I can’t, here they are anyway

- dream books

- looking for vessel

- perfect vessel love books

- was cursed before

- at least we can still read, a girly and old dad??

On the 6th I have two vivid images,

The first is where I’m choke holding someone, one of my family members and the other where my hands and lower half and my clothes are drenched in blood, copious amounts of period blood, pretty much a whole river of it. It wasn’t actively flowing out, it just did and I was covered in it.

[nefelidiaries]

03.30.25

Me and my family were out somewhere to celebrate something. It had a sort of club-like atmosphere, painted with magenta (leaning closer to purple) colored lights. It was loud and noisy, it reminded me of Dillinger’s where my mom goes to dance but the dream definitely wasn’t taking place there.

There were tables filled with patrons, families and groups of friends. I was alone at first, my family at a table and I moved off to a corner of the place. I think there was also an arcade inside this place. At this point some man approaches me and begins talking to me. I’m only mildly uncomfortable at first but every time he leaves and comes back the conversation makes me more and more uncomfortable. Eventually I get up to tell my parents (I’m pretty sure at one point before I tell my parents, there is this other guy who’s my age who approaches me and helps me out silently in some way. He has small eyes, donning a black shirt and shorts, and his hair is covered by a black cap.)

I tell my parents shakily, nervously, softly but my dad speaks up enough for everyone nearby to hear and it falls silent and my family along with the nearby tables look at me waiting for me to speak up louder.

Thoroughly humiliated I say something along the lines of, “he’s making me uncomfortable.”

They all remain quiet, the man is gone, I’m embarrassed and I move to the corner where I can see my parents table but my back would be against the wall or maybe it was a basketball machine.

I sit there and cry for a bit, holding myself until again the guy who’s my age comes again. From my face buried into my knees I look up and see him there. He stretches his hand out to me (again I think) and offers to help me up silently (he doesn’t speak ever).

I feel touched and grateful that he’s been quietly comforting me all night. I get up with his help and trudge back to my seat.

I don’t know who he is or where he goes. He always disappears after but I get the feeling that he’s also eating at that restaurant.

My parents ask me what happened and I tried to show them the videos I had taken. I honestly felt silly, the questions the man had asked weren’t particularly invasive but they made me so uncomfortable.

[nefelidiaries]

01.22.24

In the dream me and 2 other people were trying to find someone, get to something because there was this big powerful person who could help us but we didn’t have the money to sway them nor the resources to find them.

The one guy, big guy verr nice, got his hands dirty for us, dealing in iphones???? Like he sold them to a bunch of people for cheap but made profit off of it to pay back some debt we owed to some gang thing I think (not sure how he procured said phones)

There was more that happened before that, it felt like a game where all the actions you took mattered.

Early in the game I think I made sure as the spectator (probably the player controlling the game) to do something which inside me I knew changed the course of the game. It was simple actions like closing a door or writing something down in world.

The great fuck up came when the three of us had become to relaxed. The girl/guy chara had a thing with the one guy chara and all three of us (including the one extra I have no details of but am vaguely aware was there) went up into a building, into a room we had booked or something or maybe it was someone’s house. Girl/guy and guy were flirting when went in like being intimate but I realized door not closed, I made chara get up (the guy) but it was too late, he should have closed it sooner, suddenly a bunch of people from the gang came in at first we were lax about it thinking we would be fine, we had money to pay them and whatnot but we weren’t apparently the dealings of whatever we had made to make profit were actually with some of the gang members (so I assumed we had scammed some of the members)

They had to take action for that and we were all powerless against it, got knocked out and the next scene faded in I saw

Snow, the three if us sitting in the middle of a blizzard. Bare trees surrounding the open mound of snow where we sat. From my birds eye view, I see the three characters (still not sure about the third), focus on the girl/guy and the guy (the girl guy I now see is a girl but felt like a guy throughout the whole dream) and they’re all blind. Eyes now a cloudy white, the girl is crying, the guy has a grim expression on his face.

There’s a bruise around the girls hand, she’s crying, she’s saying

“I found him! I found him! He’s here! I felt him!”

It clearly was not the person we were looking for. From my view I could see, as she screamed she was holding the wrist of someone freshly killed beside them, decapitated, it felt like a woman, the wrists were thin when she held it up and where the head should be, a pool of rich red blood flowed around it and the body was splayed across the snow.

I don’t remember if the guy said anything more, if he said it was not him, but he looked at her direction, pained and defeated.

Then I woke up.

Also an important thing (I think) I also want to note,

On the guy he had a bird tattoo on his lower back, right on the backside of his hip, not sure what bird it was but I thinks it was a dove with an olive branch (and it reminds me of the bluebird tattoo that’s part of one of the webtoons I’m reading) I saw the tattoo from (I think the girls pov??) when they were getting intimate right b4 they got caught