Why telling learners that your native language is the hardest language ever is probably a bad idea:
(This goes for non-natives talking about other languages as well. We are all guilty in this so lets join together and cleanse ourselves of this sin and never commit it again.)
1. It’s downright discouraging. Seriously, if someone tells you “oh that math class you have to take next semester is like the hardest class ever” are you going to be walking into that class next semester super confident in your ability to complete it successfully or are you going to drag yourself into your seat thinking “maybe I should’ve chosen a different class…”
2. Difficulty cannot be measured. Seriously. Saying a language is hard or not hard means nothing. There is no system on earth that has managed to genuinely label whether a language is difficult or easy because there are too many variables. So is your native language hard? Literally nobody knows because it changes with every person. Some people will have trouble. Some won’t.
There are some systems of measuring language difficulty that do exist, the most famous being from the Foreign Service Institute. But here’s the thing about those: they only pertain to the native speakers of one language (so telling someone that a certain language is level 4 on the FSI chart when they’re a native Bulgarian speaker is basically useless information to them) and usually presume these people to be monolingual, and they’re also usually limited to a specific demographic. The FSI one for example is primarily using data from their own experience teaching people most of whom are over the age of 40 and are taught in small, intensive classes. It’s a very different experience if you have one bilingual 20 year old self studying with a few skype friends that are supportive native speakers. You’re going to get very different numbers just changing basic variables such as age, native language, accessibility to materials, willingness, etc.
3. Difficulty doesn’t actually matter anyway. Even if you did manage to actually label languages as “hard” or “not hard” in some way that works (so basically we’re in fantasy-land now), it’s a pointless measurement. The qualities of the language don’t matter nearly as much as the qualities of the person. Because a seriously determined person is going to do what they’re going to do and no amount of irregular noun declensions and weird verb tenses is going to stop them.
4. It’s a bit insulting. You’re essentially doubting their ability to learn the language. You’re also doubting the ability of all other language learners. You’re basically saying “it’s super difficult (so you’re going to struggle a lot and maybe do marginally alright)”. That’s generally the secondary meaning that comes with the word “difficult” in that context.
5. You’ve just set them on the path to quitting. Because now whenever they start struggling with some aspect of the language or their pronunciation doesn’t seem to be getting any better they’re going to be having the deadliest of thoughts when it comes to language learning “this language is too hard.” And you helped give them that idea. You don’t just wake up one morning thinking “Nepali is the hardest language ever”. It’s not some natural part of our shared cultural memory that “Nepali” is synonymous with “difficult”. You learn that because that’s what people tell you.
I used to study Mandarin Chinese for about three years. And for all those three years (and pretty much every time it was brought up afterwards) people would always say “that’s a really hard language.” These are people that had never in their lives heard a single word of Mandarin Chinese or even knew anything about the language itself other than it’s a language spoken in China and it’s hard. Now here I am a young impressionable language learner and what do I think when I start struggling in my studies of Mandarin Chinese? It’s too hard. Honestly, if I started studying Nepali like right now I’d probably be doing pretty well because no one along the way has ever told me that it was difficult or discounted my ability to learn it. I would feel good to go.
6. They probably already know what they’re in for. Most people don’t just pick up a language like “ooh look at this thing I know nothing about I’m gonna learn it.” (For the people that do do that, your spontaneity is cool, keep it up, you) They’ve probably heard about it, maybe done some research about it, maybe have a friend that speaks it. Fact of the matter is they’re probably fairly aware of some of the things that language is bringing with it, especially if they’ve already started studying it. And if they’re not, see the first topic in this list.
Here’s the thing though, there’s probably a lot of you that have done this who are thinking “well that’s not what I meant”. I hear you, and I get what you’re saying. It is probably absolutely not what you meant. But it’s what a lot of people hear. And in communication what one person says is just important as what the other person hears. And if someone isn’t hearing you right that’s a sign that you’ve got to change the way you’re saying it.
So next time someone comes to you saying “I’m studying (Language X)” instead of saying “that’s like the hardest language ever”, try something else. Say things like “work hard and you’ll succeed” or “I’m so excited for you” and “if I can help in any way, let me know.”
If you for some reason HAVE to talk about the difficulty of a specific language. There are better ways to do it. Consider the following:
I’ve heard that’s a hard language…
…But I’m certain you’ve got this. Work hard!
…If I can help in any way let me know, I want to help you reach your goal!
…so you better not let that stop you ‘cause I know you are capable of succeeding if you put your mind to it.
Also like don’t call people crazy for learning a certain language. Just like don’t. For so many reasons. Don’t do it.