Character Analysis:Scarlett/Melanie/Rhett‘s role in Wade' s life
P.S. This analysis is grounded in the premise that the narrative descriptions in Gone with the Wind are entirely consistent.
Scarlett: The Stern Heroine
To Wade, Scarlett is a stern mother, yet an undeniably brave one. While you might suffer "heartache" at her hands, you can always count on her to charge out and defend you if anyone else out of your family tries to hurt you.
So Wade views Scarlett as a stern heroine. When he's 3-7 years old, He longs to be close to her and craves her attention, regardless of how impatient she appears. For instance, despite her obvious displeasure-using the word "fetter"-Wade would often screw up his courage to ask for Scarlett's attention:
"He drew up at the gate and swung lightly to the ground and she thought, staring nervously at him, that he looked just like an illustration in a book Wade was always pestering her to read aloud."
The use of the word "always" suggests that Wade was obsessed with these pirate stories, an interest likely influenced by Rhett’s presence in his life.
Wade’s fear of Scarlett took root early on. One notable instance occurred while Scarlett was pregnant with Ella, Frank forbade her from going to the sawmill, and her subsequent fury and shouting terrified both Wade and Frank so much that they fled the house.
So while Wade previously made efforts to approach her, because she was his "the most reliable protector", he gradually gave up.
This shift might be because Wade was simply "worn out" by the effort, or perhaps because the move to the new house and the presence of a powerful family made him feel MORE secure. Like Scarlett herself, Wade was no longer as terrified of being harmed by "Yankees" and thus felt a diminished need for a protector. Later, he craves tenderness and understanding more than defense, but his fear and love for his mother remain.
Melanie: The Gentle Provider
Melanie is gentle, emotionally stable, and generous with her attention. With her, Wade never has to worry about facing an "emotional vortex"; he can share all his simple joys with her.
However, Melanie’s tenderness toward Wade is more of a dispositional benevolence than an "intense love." We saw this in how Beau is invited to parties while Wade is isolated; Melanie made no effort to rectify this, a stark contrast to her reaction after the sawmill incident.
Furthermore, Melanie is not a particularly sensitive or discerning person. Her defining trait is "belief" which often prevents her from perceiving emotions that are not "morally upright" or "honorable." In one of the few direct descriptions of Wade’s inner life, we see him wounded by her casual words:
"But this morning she said: 'Wade, you’ve been very naughty. Why didn't you stay at Aunt Pitty's?'
'Is Mother going to die?'
'Gracious, no, Wade! Don't be a silly child,' and then, relenting: 'Dr. Meade has just brought her a nice little baby, a sweet little sister for you to play with, and if you are real good you can see her tonight. Now, run out and play and don't make any noise.'"
The phrase "if you are real good you can see her tonight" is a common parental tactic, and usually an effective one. But in such a sensitive moment for such a sensitive child, it instills a deep fear: Am I not good enough? What happens if I’m not "really good"? I feel jealous of my sister and I’m not happy she was born, so perhaps I am not "really good" after all.
This leads to the following description:
"Weak with relief, Wade tried to be polite about his new sister but failed. Everyone was interested in this girl. No one cared anything about him any more, not even Aunt Melly or Uncle Rhett."
Rhett: The Understanding "Uncle"
This is why Rhett’s significance to Wade is so unique (it’s worth noting that even as an infant, Wade was drawn to Rhett; Rhett's aura left an impression on the child's mind). Rhett is the only one who understands, sees, and
acknowledges the "sins" within the child-such as his jealousy.
"For a moment, the security and happiness of being wanted was so great that Wade almost cried again. His throat worked and he ducked his head against Rhett’s waistcoat.
'You are my boy, aren't you?'
'Can you be—well, two men's boy?' questioned Wade, loyalty to the father he had never known struggling with love for the man who held him so understandingly."
(It seems Scarlett’s deepest feelings for Rhett during her pregnancy with Ella stemmed from a similar sense of being understood.)
However, Rhett’s flaw is that his attention is inconsistent. After Bonnie’s birth, he becomes so obsessed with her that he frequently ignores Wade.
Yet, when he does manage to focus on Wade occasionally, he shows Wade understanding, and care. Thus, Wade’s feelings for Rhett likely oscillate frequently.
He yearns for their time together because it brings him instant happiness through understanding and care. But these moments are too rare to satisfy a child’s need for constant presence or exclusive possession.
To Wade, Rhett is less like a "constant" father and more like an inspirational "Uncle"—a role model who provides surprises and abundant warmness, but one who is not always there.
At his current age, Wade is no longer proactive enough to "pester" adults. Instead, he expresses himself more subtly-lingering in the house and sighing, hoping someone will finally notice him.
Later in the narrative, we see Rhett taking Wade and Ella out in the carriage while Scarlett remains at home to host parties. At this stage, Wade is clearly more inclined toward Rhett. However, when Rhett later takes Bonnie to Charleston and leaves Wade behind, Wade must have felt a profound sense of loss and abandonment.
Following this period, both Scarlett and Rhett undergo noticeable changes.
Scarlett begins to realize that Wade is afraid of her. Yet, she harbors a certain disdain for him,viewing him as a "spiritless little creature"—a sentiment that, given her character, is difficult to conceal. Regardless, she does begin to pay more attention to her children.
I think that striving for his mother’s admiration rather than her contempt would become a lifelong struggle for Wade.
Rhett also becomes a source of great fear for the children following the miscarriage incident.
During time at Tara with Scarlett, Wade is relatively relaxed, as he is no longer caught in the cold haze between Rhett and Scarlett. Andby killing a water snake, he manages to win Scarlett’s rare praise.
Scarlett rarely offered praise/encouragement for Wade’s behavior. But during their stay at Tara, she commended Ella for biting Susie and praised Wade for the water snake incident-notably recounting these stories to Rhett in the presence of the children. This appears to be a conscious shift I think, through her observations during those months, she likely felt that her habitual severity had rendered Wade even more "spiritless," thus she attempted to use praise to "encourage/mend their spirit." This was likely an effort to prove herself a "better mother."
Upon their return, Rhett also adjusted his behavior:
"He was at home more often for supper now and he was kinder to the servants and more affectionate to Wade and Ella."
He also attempts to superficially balance his excessive favoritism. For instance, when buying a pony for Bonnie, he makes sure to buy a saddle for Wade first.
This was a clear effort to demonstrate that he loved the other children equally.
But how effective was this? The book does not describe it in detail.
Personally, I believe that given the affection Wade had shown Rhett since infancy, much of that bond could have been salvaged. Moreover, if Wade had responded to Rhett's overtures with coldness or hostility, it is hard to imagine someone of Rhett’s temperament maintaining his affection.
However, Wade is an extremely sensitive child with his own share of jealousy and possessiveness. He is inwardly well aware that Rhett loves Bonnie far more than he or Ella, regardless of Rhett's outward performance. So there was likely some displaced jealousy, even resentment toward Bonnie. This probably explains why Wade shows no real disturbance when she dies.
It is possible that his sister's death stirred a "shameful" hope within him, the hope that Rhett would now have more time and energy for him. Such feelings, while seemingly dishonorable, are by no means rare among children.
Would Rhett have sensed this? If he had paid Wade any attention, he likely would have.
After Bonnie's death, Rhett ceases to show any genuine concern for anyone in the household except Mammy.But it is important to note that Rhett isn't entirely ignoring the emotions and will of others, he still considered Mammy; rather, his world has become entirely centered on his regret for Bonnie.
When the person you love so deeply dies, those who loved her deeply become your only friends, while you feel no goodwill toward those who didn't love her. Just as Harry Potter felt a burning hatred for Snape after Sirius died—not for any other reason than the fact that Snape had hated Sirius and felt no sorrow at his death-maybe so, Rhett stops mentioning Wade and Ella altogether.
Wade and Ella's feelings are also left undescribed in the book, but I imagine Wade felt considerable disappointment and pain.
As for whether Wade would blame Scarlett for Rhett's eventual departure? Likely not, as Rhett had made his indifference toward him so apparent.
In such a moment, a child’s instinct is to crave the embrace and warmth of the only remaining parent. Moreover, Wade has never shown particularly aggressive traits.
Nor would he hate Rhett on his mother’s behalf I think; as mentioned before, Wade’s loyalty to his mother is not firm, and his outlook aligns more with the "Old Guard."
So I believe his feelings for Rhett, in the end, would be a mix of pain and longing, with his most intense emotion being the anger of abandonment.
PS:And about Scarlett, Rhett knows in his heart that she loved Bonnie deeply I believe; her fainting is undeniable proof.
His accusation of her being a "terrible mother" was likely more of a retaliatory strike after Scarlett accused him of killing their daughter.
If Rhett truly believed that Scarlett didn't love Bonnie, I doubt he would have been willing to wait for her return just to break up officially, and their final conversation would certainly not have been so open and deep.
This makes their mutual accusations seem particularly cruel: they did know each other loves Bonnie, but they distorted the facts to vent their misery
