“Come on now. You could cheer up a little bit.”
Brown hair falls into my eyes as I raise my head from the table and glare at my best friend. Ocean Blue eyes meet forest green eyes as my stomach does flips. I can’t tell them what I am really feeling. Not when they were happy with someone else.
But they give me that stupid smirk that just promises trouble and grab my hand.
“But I don't want to be here.”
“What do you mean? Books have always made you happy. You hid here for two weeks when your dog passed away.”
I look around at the shelves of library books surrounding us, thinking on the truth of what they said. Reading always brought me great joy. We always came here as kids and spent hours giving each other new book recommendations. I turn to face my friend, watching as they run a hand through their pitch black hair, and return their smirk.
“You're not wrong but that still doesn't explain why you brought me here. I'm telling you, I'm fine.”
‘I'm dying inside. Help!’
My inner demons scream. I watch an eyebrow go up on my friend's face.
“Right. Like I would believe that. Come on. Go look for some books for yourself and me. We'll meet back here in 30 minutes.”
They go running off towards where I know the adventure books are. I try to stop them but there is no real effort in it. A genuine smile reaches my face for the first time in what seems like weeks as I wander towards where the biographies are kept. I love biographies. Reading about where people came from and what led to some choices they made always gives me hope that there is more meaning in my life.
As I look through the titles, I notice a book by someone with the same name as me. I grab it because I've never even met someone in real life who has the same name as me. I start reading it, immediately drawn into the narrative, easily getting through the three chapters.
As I continue reading though, I feel a sense of deja vu coming over me. I then realize that I know this story. Not because I've read this book before but because it was my life. Everything that had ever happened to me was written in these pages.
What sealed that feeling was when I started chapter 6 and experienced the worst day of my life all over again. Reading through it made everything I has trying so hard to hide come to the surface. Sobs start breaking out as I sink to the floor, my legs shaking. I clutch the book tightly to my chest, holding my place with one of my fingers.
‘This is too soon. I can't keep going.’
I look at where I am in the book and see that I am barely a quarter of the way through. I look at the beginning of chapter 7 and read through the events of today. When I reach the moment where I find the book (this book), I'm at the bottom of a page. The chapter isn't over yet. I could keep reading and see how my life unfolds. What stops me is all the science fiction shows I have watched growing up with my best friend. How knowing the future and how things would unfold was torture. How trying to change certain events actually made things worse. I look at the book again, making my decision as footsteps start to echo closer to where i am.
I close the book and place it on the ground, leaning my head back against the shelf behind me. The footsteps I heard earlier stop in front of me.
“There you are. I was worried when you didn't show back up.”
I smile as I open my eyes and chuckle at my friend.
“Why? You should know by now that I was going to be lost in another world.”
They shook their head as a hand extended down to help pull me up. I take it but almost lost my balance again as I finished standing. I stumble but they are quicker than me.
“Don't worry. I've got you. I won't let anything happen.”
I clutch their chest, glad for their strength and for their quick reflexes.
“I know. Thank you...for today.”
“It's no problem. Come on, let's go to the movies. I heard…”
I start to tune them out as they guide me from the aisle I was in. I turn back and look at the book i left on the floor. I gently smile. Just looking at it, I knew that somehow, no matter what it seems like now, I knew that things were going to be just fine.
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