RIP nerdylittlepotato
I have no idea if I have any active followers on here anymore as I literally haven’t used this blog in years (little life story about why down below) ... but if anyone is interested you can find me on:
@disaster-magnet - Just me reblogging any ol random shit I enjoy (lots of memes and animal videos basically)
@body-of-ouches - where I post about living with a chronic illness (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome)
Also I’m on instagram as @tonitakesbadpictures
Story time:
I went through a bit of a low patch in college, and by low patch I mean horribly suicidal depression for years. Watching all these shows and having a nice little community on Tumblr became my way of distracting myself from my life. Which worked, but it wasn’t a healthy way to deal with it. During this time I would drink too much, sleep too little, and do anything to avoid facing my reality.
Eventually I left college and tried to fill my time with work instead, working three jobs so I’d never have a day off in which I’d have time to *gasp* be alone with my thoughts. I wore myself out, completely and utterly.
After years of this I realised I had to sort myself out. So I went to a doctor and started therapy and antidepressants, and it worked. For the first time in years I was sleeping. I was feeling emotions again. I remember looking at a patch of grass by the side of the road and crying because it was so damn green and I felt like I hadn’t been able to properly see colours in years. Everything finally felt real again.
This is where I dropped out of fandoms and started actually living my life. I still love the shows of course, but I don’t use it as a substitute for properly living anymore. I started going out and making new friends, ditched the extra jobs to give myself time for myself, met a brilliant guy, fell head over heels in love, moved out of my emotionally abusive dad’s house to live with a friend and generally started taking actual care of myself.
I left college in 2016 as an underweight, depressed insomniac, that never spoke to anyone, worked 13 hour days 7 days a week, and tried to drink herself to death. Now I have my own home with my brilliant partner. I sleep properly. I’ve gained enough weight to look like an actual living creature instead of a walking corpse. I spent about six years total stuck in my depressed rut, but I managed to get out of it with the right help.
And I am genuinely so, so happy.
Thank you to this little community for providing me with laughs and a feeling of belonging when I had none. I wish you all the best.
