predictions are locked in. 2026 is going to be a good one
Xuebing Du

#extradirty
todays bird
will byers stan first human second
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Janaina Medeiros
taylor price
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

if i look back, i am lost

Andulka
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.
Mike Driver
d e v o n
NASA
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@nesrynfalq
predictions are locked in. 2026 is going to be a good one
c'est la cucaracha........
settings > my shower > manage my shower
water 🟩
soap 🟩
corner spider ⬜️
me but i would turn the corner spider setting on #spiderlover #spiderfan #spidersarecool #spider #spiders
Update from the man himself
The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.
Also this.
Which led him to this.
Bless this man.
you look great in that frog costume
reblog to tell your mutuals they look great in that frog costume.
"And you, SUH! Are you waiting to receive my LIMP PENIS!?"
for those who don't know, he was completely innocent. they misidentified him as someone else they were looking for.
so all of this wasn't him trying to look innocent. this was him actually being innocent.
He was literally just having a succulent Chinese meal.
"tata, and farewell"
I genuinely wasn't expecting the intonations this guy uses. It's like he's on stage pretending to be english, while also fighting with police
"Ah, that's a nice headlock, sir. I see you know your Judo well" to the cop who absolutely failed to headlock him on national television is just
devastating
like
like how do you even come back from that
Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five
Hospital
Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital
I feel like we’re getting off topic
So is pepsi if you steal it?
Because it’s only a dollar seventy five
Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi
Why would anyone drink Pepsi?
Huh?
That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.
1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.
2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.
3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.
am I having a stroke????
you might want to go to the hospital then
I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there
Enter DAISY GRIME, a CLOWN, accompanied by FOOLS, HARLEQUINS, and JESTERS.
GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark -- An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d -- That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.
GRIME A hospital, good sir.
SECOND FOOL (Does some figures) And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?
GRIME Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.
CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.
GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.
FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.
SECOND JESTER Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.
FIRST FOOL I see, but -- wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?
GRIME ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?
SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?
FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.
(There is general applause and agreement.)
GRIME O fool, a what?
Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.
WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.
(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)
Exeunt.
Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.
LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?
FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.
SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.
(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)
Exeunt.
@collie-border IT WAS ME, YOU FOOL
‘TWAS I WHO SHAKESPEARIZED YOUR TUMBLR DASH
(if you want more, you can suggest more posts)
This is,, one of my favorite moments from the MBMBAM tv show
THIS IS JUST A PHONE NUMBER YOU CAN CALL
"you look tired" well the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease
it always always makes me laugh to swap definite and indefinite articles
Ugh it's so hot today, I'm sweating like the pig
W-woah there! You scared a bejesus out of me!
translation:
The CAT
Swims along the sea.
The WHALE
From a dish eats sour cream.
The WHALE
Spends his time like so:
Nights, he wanders.
Days, he snores.
In the ocean, who is that?
Probably, the fishy-cat!
Who sits in the tree a bout?
It’s the Willy-whale, no doubt!
The WHALE
Catches mice aground.
In the sea,
CAT
Mucks around!
[Image description: a tweet by @/rafkhach: “There is one letter difference between the Russian words for cat (кот) and whale (кит). A Soviet children’s book from the ‘80s imagined what it would be like if they switched places:” The rest of images are hand-drawn illustrations: a giant grey striped cat with yellow eyes swims in the ocean, fish swimming near and birds flying around and landing on the cat’s back; a tiny whale sips milk from a plate; the tiny whale rests on a gate of a house with the crescent moon in the sky behind it; the tiny whale curled up comfortably into a ball on a bed under a hanged picture of itself with a ribbon and flowers on the wall; the giant cat swims in the ocean, as ships pass by and people near a lighthouse wave at it; the tiny whale rests on a branch of a tree, looking at flying birds and people on the bench below; the tiny whale chases around three mice, and the giant cat lounges in the giant waves that sweep a ship and a buoy up and down. End ID.]
i love wikipedia and i think it is good and right to give them money but all their funding drive messages are “well… we’ll be killing ourselves tonight. we asked so little of you and yet it seems that simply nobody cares about lil ol wikipedia anymore….sad…”
I'm cursing my followers with this one, bestie
i think the duolingo owl is already in a relationship with the scrub daddy sponge though
Ok, so I was reading this news story:
So far so normal, right? But then:
Like what. And then:
Like, I think Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wants to be a romance novelist.
well would you look at that
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