//elias has two hands. that is all.
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//elias has two hands. that is all.
Obey Me Part 3
So Mammon makes a stellar first impression
You’re not even the demon of gluttony, asshole.
Lucifer punches Mammon and everybody explains that people he likes get wealth but people he breaks up with go destitute.
I’m learning way too much about this asshole.
So for some godforsaken reason Mammon gets put in charge of seeing to Yuki’s needs, which I can already tell is a horrible idea. All the demons start arguing about who is and who isn’t going to do the job until Lucifer pulls out that purple haze that demons in this game apparently have
And it makes Mammon accept the job, but unfortunately it does not shut him up.
This is officially the weirdest way to spend a gap year.
So there’s like a contest to see if humans can resist demon corruption or something? But the seven demon brothers are going to lend Yuki their powers to help. It’s at this point that I learn that the tasks are stuff you have to do from the home menu. Karasu walks us through card summoning in Nightmare.
Man maybe I’m just a Solmare boomer but this is entirely too much-
YEAH OK NO IM OFFICIALLY CHECKED OUT IM TOO OLD FOR THIS BULLSHIT.
Happy April Fool’s everyone! Normal content resumes tomorrow.
Obey Me Intro Part 2
So on the main menu, we learn about the virtual assistant Karasu, who tells us we have a missed call. Oh god, we’re incorporating phone calls into this... We get info on Mammon and then the game calls him
So he’s an asshole, got it. He kind of reminds me of someone I used to write about...
I’m sure it’ll come to me.
Lucifer somehow hijacks the call to get Mammon to cooperate, then the game tries to guilt trip me into turning on push notifications and fails.
So Asmodeus shows up. He does not look like he normally does. Where’s the red skin, the horns? Why is his hair SAND colored?
Satan’s also here as a separate entity from Lucifer, because THAT won’t get confusing to anyone with even a small base of knowledge about real demon mythology. He looks like a twink, although that’s kind of par for the course when it comes to Satan portrayals nowadays.
Beelzebub is also there, and I just realized that everybody is being equated to the Seven Deadly Sins. I wasn’t paying attention to who’s who though.
Wow what a typical otome situation to be in. Living with seven men. It’s like Snow White but worse.
This is the longest intro in the history of intros.
So there’s a texting feature of this app, and it literally never stops sending messages, it seems.
Summoning! I swear, this is reminding me SO MUCH of someone.
Obey Me Intro
Well, well, well.
It looks like we start with the MC getting accepted into “Royal Academy of Diavolo” so it’s another school setting. Obey Me wants what Wizardess Heart has fr fr.
Using the pregenerated name Yuki, so the MC will be referred to as such form here on out. It made me put in a birthday? So I just put in 69. Don’t remember which one corresponds to the month and which one to the day so I guess we’ll find out when I put the picture in later.
So Yuki is in a courtroom looking thing with several men.
Oh my god what the fuck. WHERE IS HIS NOSE? It’s a single line! WHY IS HE MOVING.
So this freak of nature welcome Yuki to “Devildom,” which is the worst word I’ve ever heard. We also learn that the MC is a human, which does not instill me with confidence.
So this is Diavolo. Given my prior experience with Solmare,
Oh shit, wrong Diavolo, hang on a minute.
Anyway, this is Diavolo. Given my prior experience with Solmare, I should have guessed that the guy who runs everything was going to be some mediocre pretty boy. He’s the ruler of all demons, which is disappointing to learn. He doesn’t even have horns! We also learn that he hasn’t been crowned king of Devildom yet.
Seriously? Okay.
Diavolo is apparently the president of the student council or something. Yuki asks why she’s here, and bargain bin demon number 2 shows up.
It’s Lucifer, the vice president of the student council. Quite a downgrade from being Satan, huh?
Bruh who the FUCK is Solomon.
Lucifer also namedrops the human realm and the Celestial realm and we learn that all of this is a demonic exchange program. There’s going to be two human students and two Celestial students at demon school. Yuki has to complete tasks at school and write a paper by the end of the year.
Tf kind of escapism is this?
Lucifer gives Yuki a cellphone, which is called a D.D.D for some fucking reason, and according to the screen, it’s 66:66. What the fuck kind of time does demon land run on??
The intro thing ends and now I’m in the main menu. This post is getting a little long. Guess I’m gonna have to make more than one post.
Bad news everyone.
I got a new phone and my solmare account screwed up and I lost all my progress 😔. I don't really have a ton of time to catch up anymore, so I'm not sure when/if I'll make new posts. I'm not going to delete the account and I may return to it if I get the motivation to go through the tutorial and build up my inventory again.
Or well, best case scenario, the sync is just late and in a few days I can get back to it! Fingers crossed 🤞. But if I don't get that progress back, it may be a while before I start posting here again.
Hey guys I've been so busy with college work that I didn't even notice my queue had run out 💀 my bad y'all. I'm going on break soon though so I'll be able to buff up the queue. Love y'all!
Lucious Route Chapter 4 (11-17)
Last time on the Lucious route, Liz and Lucious escape a crumbling dimension, debate about Hugo’s extremely obvious motives, and have an accidental hand holding sessions that’s interrupted by the portrait of Lucious’s ex.
Everybody learns that the invisible wall is now gone, so they can leave. Alfonse and Caesar assume that heterosexual things happened between Liz and Lucious, and Lucious puts his “Insulting Liz” cap on. Alfonse knows he’s lonely, which Lucious tries to deny. Very badly, might I add.
I’m not sure what it is about Lucious, but this behavior isn’t remotely cute, like I think it’s trying to be. It just feels really childish and embarrassing. I know he actually has a good reason to be lonely but like. still.
So then we cut to Liz in her dorm room where Amelia also assumes Liz and Lucious did heterosexual things, but then the conversation takes a different turn:
Well that’s a little heavy for 9 pm, isn’t it?
Liz wonders what happened to Claudia after Lucious was locked in the Labyrinth and Amelia suggests she look up Claudia in the library to find out. The next morning, Liz goes to do that, but she runs into a little problem
good to know gedonelune is sexist like real life too /s
Liz finds a promising book that supposedly just about Claudia, but on her way to check it out, she trips over someone’s leg. When she goes to tell him off (because what other fucking woman goes to this school besides liz and amelia), who should she be faced with other than one of my least favorite people in this app?
Liz and Viggo have an ulcer inducing conversation that includes Viggo being InTiMiDaTiNg, but he lets it slip that Claudia spent her last years in a mansion in Queensblade.
Liz goes to the headmaster’s office, but instead finds Schuyler, who still has a bad case of the resting bitch face. Liz explains that she needs to go to Queensblade (even though she doesn’t know where in Queensblade the fucking mansion even is), and Schuyler actually signs off on it, so now there’s nothing stopping Liz from taking an ill-planned trip to Queenblade.
Wasn’t there supposed to be a war between Gedonelune and Queensblade-
So Liz gets on the train and stares at the book about Claudia while thinking about Claudia instead of reading the damn book to get more information about Claudia. Then Mischa appears in the compartment and decides to tag along with Liz. Liz briefly wonders whose familiar Mischa is, but quickly dismisses the thought, which I’m sure will have no lasting consequences on the plot. It’s not like Mischa is secretly Hugo’s familiar or anything.
Ahem.
Queued for November 1
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Lucious Route Chapter 4 (6-10)
Last time on the Lucious route, Liz and Lucious rolled a collective 6 on their stealth check, but Hugo rolled a natural 1 so he didn’t notice them following him, Hugo does a lot of expository monologues for literally no one other than the audience, Remy shows up in the form of Taffy, and I finally snap due to the insanity of Lucious’s outfit. Not necessarily in that order.
So Lucious calls Liz “too nice” and tells her to go back to Alfonse and Caesar because what is a Wizardess Heart route without a man patronizing Liz. Liz refuses because fuck you Lucious.
My points still stands.
So then Hugo finally notices these really unstealthy people. He calls Liz the Goddess of Time and states that his job is to protect her and free Lucious, but not today. He warns them against getting in his way if they want to get what they want. Or maybe that was only directed at Lucious, the wording wasn’t super clear.
Lucious briefly morphs into Peter Griffin, and the disembodied voice of Hugo informs them that their free trial of the pocket of time they’re in is about to expire.
So Liz and Lucious escape the collapsing time dimension and Liz recounts what she knows about Hugo, which is essentially just his cameos in the other routes, and can’t pin down his motivations, which I guess means she hasn’t been listening to his monologues because he literally already spelled out his motivations last week.
Lucious tells Liz he’s looking forward to being free and asks her to be his guide to the new world, and
I cannot believe the dichotomy of these two options. I literally can’t believe this is a choice. Just fuckin “find someone else.” What even happens if you say that???
This is what happens if you pick the right option, but if you pick the “find someone else” option Liz herself points out that she may not be the best option in an objective way, not a self-deprecating way, so ironically “find someone else” is the LESS caustic option.
And then Liz is somewhat turned on by Lucious just fucking shouting about Hugo at the air. Liz realizes they’re still Holding Hands but then serendipitously sees Claudia’s portrait in the background.
Queued for October 25
Lucious Route Chapter 4 (1-5)
Last time on the Lucious Route, Liz had another dream about hanging out with Lucious and I’m starting to have a sneaking suspicion that only is Lucious also having these dreams, he’s also aware that they’re kind of half-canon while Liz isn’t, which is just greaaaat /s. Also Hugo’s here and Liz and Lucious are about to jump him for information, which is either going to work or crash and burn.
So Liz and Lucious watch Hugo approach the portrait of Claudia, the former princess of the day kingdom and Lucious’s ex, and
I’m sorry, but is anyone else really distracted by how anachronistic Lucious’s outfit is? I wish I had a better word than anachronistic because I truly do not have a time period that I need all the outfits to be in, but it just feels so aesthetically off.
Like what is this?? Why’s he wearing a zip-up hoodie AND an oversized tracksuit jacket? Are those track pants??? What the hell is that flannel doing? It would honestly be fine without the tracksuit! Are you a magical time-displaced prince or the unhinged tertiary side character of a Disney channel show that starts out as a recurring character and eventually gets bumped up to main cast? I think I just made Lucious sound more interesting than he actually is..
Anyway, Lucious starts getting all uppity about Hugo potentially defacing Claudia’s portrait, but Liz warns him to be patient and promises they will intervene if he tries to damage the portrait. For some reason, none of this commotion attracts Hugo’s attention, although it would really be funny if he went “i know you’re here by the way yall aint SUBTLE” halfway through this scene without even looking up.
Hugo’s song (because apparently this was a song and not a really weird monologue) ends at the moment I think it will NEVER end, and it’s revealed that it unlocks a secret door. Which has GOT to be the most inconvenient key out there. Imagine if you had to password protect something with a perfect live performance of Bohemian Rhapsody. I would simply chew cement.
(all of this was just from part 1 of 5 btw guys)
Liz and Lucious follow Hugo into a luscious forest, because if there’s one thing these past few routes have loved, it’s sticking magical biomes in the weirdest places of the Labyrinth. Liz keeps tripping over tree roots, I guess to show how Quirky and Relatable(tm) she is and also to have a Gratuitous Love Interest Catches Her When She’s Falling Moment.
One where Lucious is leaning VERY close btw, like how does that HAPPEN-
They enter a creepy cave and I just have to pause real quick and admire the background.
Like DAMN that is a good background /gen.
They come across Hugo monologuing to himself, because I guess they couldn’t just give him a friend to create a dynamic duo so that he doesn’t just look like some weird guy monologuing to himself? Anyway, the defeat of the Minotaur (whenever the hell THAT happened, I don’t even fucking remember which route that was-) is causing the Labyrinth’s magic to get funky because for some reason, the magic was tied to the minotaur? Seriously? All because someone fucked-[REDACTED]
Anyway, Hugo wonders if he should let Lucious leave the Labyrinth now that Caesar’s curse has been broken (WITH STILL NO EXPLANATION AS TO HOW THAT HAPPENED IN THIS ROUTE BY THE WAY), which I have to quibble with for a moment.
The way Hugo’s phrasing it, he’s tying the breaking of Caesar’s curse to a Lucious’s potential freedom, implying that there’s some cosmic significance (for lack of a better word) to the way Caesar’s curse was broken. Like if its important enough for a time guardian to compare the two, it implies that the Baroque curse was broken for all the Baroques, even though that’s not what happened. It just broke for Caesar. Future Baroque generations WILL still carry the curse, if I’m not mistaken. So that begs the question: why is Caesar important to this? He’s not even the first Baroque to break his own curse. This is a question that I’m sure could have interesting answers, but unfortunately I think the most likely one is “because he’s an otome boy” and the writers said so.
Or I could just be reading too deeply into things, who knows.
Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled... this.
So Hugo ponders which timeline he should allow to exist and reveals he knows Liz and Lucious are there with a line that is significantly less funny than my earlier joke. Liz is somehow surprised that Hugo noticed them, even though they’ve been the most unstealthy fuckers I’ve ever seen. THEN the fucking Taffy/Remy hybrid shows up.
So then Hugo reveals that the Taffy hybrid is using Dragonkin magic, which isn’t a surprise to me because I’ve already sussed out that its Remy in disguise. (Wouldn’t it be super funny if I’m wrong and it’s not Remy tho? Lmfao). He also namedrops “Felix” and “Lacan” who are probably more Dragonkin and one of them is probably the weird blonde dude in Liz’s dreams. Taffy-Remy KNOWS Felix and Lacan and wonders why Hugo knows them.
So just to summarize the next few series of events here, Hugo starts trapping Taffy-Remy in here while monologuing that he won’t let him resurrect the dragonkin because they’ll end the world or something. Liz decides to save Taffy-Remy, because she hasn’t yet figured out that it’s fucking Remy, and the chapter ends.
I wonder what Alfonse and Caesar are doing back in the palace rn.. I’ve just imagined Lucious, Alfonse, and Caesar sleeping on a single mattress on the floor Scott Pilgrim style. They all took a bath together last chapter, y’all can’t tell me it’s not at least in the realm of possibility.
Queued for October 18
Lucious Route Chapter 3 (11-17)
Last time on the Lucious route, Liz accidentally walked in on Lucious, Alfonse, and Caesar all taking a bath together, Alfonse beats everyone at poker, and Liz gears up to have another “possible future with Lucious” dream.
So Liz appears in a fucking amusement park with Lucious, and Lucious doesn’t understand what an amusement park is. They go on the Ferris wheel and Lucious is clearly scared but denies it. The conversation turns to Liz’s backstory as Lucious muses how far the world has advanced since his imprisonment.
Liz asks what the Night Kingdom was like. Apparently it was a kingdom with short days and long nights (who’d’ve thunk).
Quick sidenote, but what would it be like if the Night Kingdom and the Day Kingdom were like fucking Greenland and Iceland. Like the Day Kingdom was the one that was all emo and nighttime and the Night Kingdom was the fuckin land of the midnight sun.
Anyway, the conversation turns sad as Lucious says he can’t go back to the kingdom of night because it’s been destroyed, but Liz reminds him the new world isn’t so bad.
So then the dream inevitably goes to shit with the arrival of everyone’s favorite blonde asshole (which one-) who immediately starts slinging spells and doesn’t respond when questioned about his motives. Liz and Lucious start fighting back, but the guy traps them in a bubble filling with water.
So Liz and Lucious fucking die in the dream, but since it was a dream, she just wakes up in the bed and decides to go get some water, but encounters another white man jumpscare.
Who’s here for some fucking reason.
Hugo heads toward Lucious’s studio, and Liz gears up to follow him but she’s grabbed from behind by Lucious who literally gags her and practically restrains her (yeah REAL respectful /s I know Hugo is here but BOUNDARIES). Anyway Liz and Lucious decide to try to ambush Hugo to get some answers out of him.
Queued for October 11
Lucious Route Chapter 3 (6-10)
Last time on the Lucious Route, Liz, Alfonse, and Caesar go into the Labyrinth to bring food to Lucious but then all get stuck there due to a conveniently placed “you must be a member to access this area or purchase it for 5,000 units of game currency” block.
So Lucious says that the areas he can and can’t go into change every day, and Liz thinks that maybe one of those days he’ll be able to escape the Labyrinth. Caesar’s in agreement because the magic curse is really old, so it might be fading, thougb Lucious isn’t optimistic, so it once again falls onto the Plucky Girl Protagonist to be the positive one, because that’s definitely something we haven’t seen before /s.
Lucious suggests everybody stay the night in the castle since the way out is blocked off and Caesar says THIS
Which only brings up more questions about how the last route even went in this timeline. And Lucious gets jealous because of fucking course he does.
Okay, I stand corrected. Well, half-corrected. I still think the writers intended for him to be jealous but at least he didn’t dig himself into a deeper hole.
They end up getting separate rooms and Liz decides to go have a bath, and I Am Afraid because there is now way Shenanigans aren’t happening.
And then Liz walks in on Alfonse, Lucious, and Caesar in the bath.
They’re taking a bath together. Yep.
Let’s take a moment to let that sink in. Ahhhh. 🏳️🌈
Anyway yeah Liz took a wrong turn and ended up in the men’s bathroom, which Alfonse and Caesar keep laughing about hours later. Then Lucious suggests they all play poker to pass the time, and Alfonse, much like queer fans of What We Do in the Shadows, keeps on winning.
Queued for: October 4
Lucious Route Chapter 3 (1-5)
Last time on the Lucious route, Liz ends up agreeing to come into the Labyrinth to give Lucious food because the magic in the Labyrinth is on the fritz and Zeus can’t do it because he’s been suckered into the worst thing that will ever happen in this route: a family get-together.
So Amelia meets Liz in the kitchen while she’s cooking food for Lucious.
I’m really glad no one in the writer’s room knew about a/b/o while writing this..
On her way to the Labyrinth, Liz runs into Alfonse and Caesar.
Since Zeus and Hiro are going home together and Alfonse and Caesar are spending time in the town together, this holiday weekend said gay rights.
Are we finally getting the explanation at to how you’re still alive? I’m actually more excited for this than the rest of the plot, so naturally, I don’t get The Fucking Explanation. But Alfonse and Caesar decide to tag along to visit Lucious so. Maybe soon.
They meet in the Illusion Station, and Lucious throws a tantrum instead of explaining how he broke Caesar’s goddamn curse-
Just... how did he do it without a fucking kiss of true love?? The curse to me seemed very specific about it! Who provided the kiss of true love in this version of the timeline? Was it Alfonse??? Who fucking gave it??
So they all eat the food, and Lucious gets a chance to show off more of his... wonderful personality /s.
Liz gets up and discovers that an invisible wall popped up around them, while Lucious is unfazed, but states that it’s never happened in the castle before.
Queued for August 31
Lucious Route Chapter 2 (16-19)
Last time on the Lucious route, Liz dreams about the weird blonde guy destroying an entire city block, then she, Zeus, and Hiro go down into the Labyrinth, where more magic continues to break.
So it turns out Zeus has also been bringing Lucious food for a while, which means they’ve been in a committed relationship for at least 3 months by the laws of otome land.
Liz brings up how the train mysteriously lurched when they were on their way down there and Lucious adds that now he’s been banned from some of the labyrinth rooms. Then Zeus compares Lucious to a cat, because I guess right now is the perfect time to make that really obvious comparison.
So just to summarize the next serious of events here, Liz asks Zeus how he and Lucious met, Lucious chokes Zeus with a muffin to stop him from telling, and Zeus and Hiro reveal they’re traveling to their hometown, so Zeus can’t come into the Labyrinth to bring Lucious food since the magic food mechanisms broke. Liz offers to do it instead.
Just gotta add “Feed the prince that lives in the Labyrinth” to the ol to-do list. But Liz will only agree to do it if Lucious tells her “thank you,” which Lucious has a problem with because he’s a little bitch.
Screenshot for evidence.
And then the chapter ends.
I’d almost rather be reading this story tbh.
Queued for August 29
Lucious Route Chapter 2 (11-15)
Last time on the Lucious route, Liz and Lucious go on another lucid dream date which is then crashed by the weird blonde guy.
So the weird blonde guy decides to blow up an entire city, I guess, but Liz is jolted out of the dream before anything gets destroyed, and I’m left forgetting whether these dreams are supposed to be the future or the present.
Mischa offers to interpret Liz’s weird dream in exchange for milk. Mischa at first wastes time by interpreting bullshit about the ocean and Lucious, but then labels the weird dude as a representation of a bad omen. Mischa concluced that the dream is more positive than negative, though I’m not sure the ocean and Lucious outweigh the return of ancient destructive magic.
But I digress.
After classes, Liz is still thinking about the dream and the labyrinth entrances closing up and her thought process somehow arriving at “I should bring Lucious a snack” because lest we forget we are in Otomeland, where love is shown through a scale of snacks to trying to kill each other. Liz decides she’s going to rope in Hiro to go with her because he’s one of two people who has the magic Labyrinth GPS. Smash cut to Zeus also coming along for reason.
No really it was basically an actual smash cut.
So the train lurches, which is apparently a big deal because I guess the train,like Gedonelune itself, is magically groomed to never have any kind of normal problems.
I mean that question kind of answers itself, don’t you think?
So they arrive at Lucious’s castle (he uh, has one of those), and I gotta wonder why being trapped in the Labyrinth is such a big curse considering the Labyrinth basically houses an entire country in there. Then Lucious reveals that the magic that powers the food and drink of the Labyrinth also broke.
I don’t even want to unpack this exchange.
Queued for August 24
Lucious Route Chapter 2 (6-10)
Last time on the Lucious Route, Remy and Hugo are in a spat about their alternate interpretations of canon events, but that’s only a tertiary plot of this entire thing.
Liz finishes up her gossip session with Mischa and Chica and takes a nap on the couch, so of course a mysterious voice visits her in her dreams, because I guess it’s one of those routes.
Liz finds herself in another one of those weird lucid dreams where she and Lucious are exploring the Gedonelune Town, even though I think soon the twist will be that real Lucious is having these dreams too.
Dream Lucious thinks about his previous life and how he wished to travel and explore beyond the Night Kingdom, but couldn’t because he was the future king of it. Liz suggests that he travel now, and Dream Lucious asks her to come with him because he’s not used to the new age due to being stuck in the Labyrinth for centuries.
I know ends of the earth is just an expression even today, but now I’m just wondering if people at Gedonelune are flat earthers.
Dream Lucious asks Liz if she Likes anyone in the prefect group, which she denies. And then Lucious negs her.
What a catch /s.
And then this guy crashes the dream date again and he and Lucious get into a fight.
Queued for August 22
Lucious Route Chapter 2 (1-5)
Last time on the Lucious Route, Liz, Elias, and Yukiya break up a fight between Remy and Hugo because Hugo is presumably pissed off at someone for fucking up his personal vision of how the timeline should go, because really, that’s all anyone who’s trying to preserve a timeline is doing.
So Liz, Elias, and Yukiya rush Remy to the infirmary, and you’ll never fucking believe who shows up.
YOU
I can’t believe Gedonlune fired Randolph but kept this asshole.
Then Alfonse finally shows up after missing out on the entirety of the last chapter
Well gee, it’s not like he’s a magic doctor or anything..
So we learn that Liz tried to heal the wound earlier, but it wouldn’t close up, so Alfonse determines that Remy has been cursed so that healing spells won’t work on the injury, so he has to heal the old fashioned way. Everyone puzzles over why Hugo would curse Remy while Remy tries to get out of healing the old fashioned way because he has “something important to do.”
Mmhm.
Well damn.
Since Remy passes out, there’s nothing stopping Alfonse and Merkulova from moving him into a bed and they send Liz and the others back to class, because I guess Alfonse doesn’t have 8 am’s.
On their way to class, Liz, Elias, and Yukiya puzzle over why Hugo did the things he did, even though he literally said he wanted to “preserve the timeline” or whatever, so I guess everyone has selective amnesia for that line in particular.
Later, Liz goes to work at the Prefect’s office while Mischa and Chica the bat from six routes ago have a conversation. Chica’s still into Sigurd (for some reason) and Mischa gives her advice on not coming off as desperate. Liz joins in on their gossip session and Chica makes fun of her for being terminally bitchless, since in this version of the canon Liz has not dated anyone.
Queued for August 17