Anunfortunatewriter

They/them | nonbinary | aroace | writer |

[netgukim]

The journey to an ok

I was standing in my kitchen holding a knife, when I realised I had been wanting to make my own dinner since I was six, but I never quite learned how to hold something sharp, without thinking about how much it could hurt if the pressure applied was to the wrong thing. 

I have been tired for the last four months, and a few days ago a friend who I havent seen in weeks, texted me asking if I was okay, and if I would mind going to a party with them. They know I hate parties, but they still asked. I wanted to say no for my own sanity, but hey theres no better excuse for agony than having a night out that you know will end up with crying at night.

and so I left for the party, and I dressed all fancily and nicely and said the right things, and hoped my timing was good. I hadn’t been out for a while, the air felt like an intrusive thought coursing through my veins, the buzzing of the chatter and the clicking of the glasses resounding all around me.

I wondered what it would have felt like with you around me.

But this was my own thing to go through,you didn’t have to hold my hand anymore, I am all grown up and covered in perfume now. Holding a glass of whiskey I haven’t taken a sip out of yet. I stay most of the night, the party deteriorates into moments of silence broken by tablespoons touching porcelain and whispers transfered from one ear to another.

No one asks me how I have been, but I see the look of surprise in their eyes increase with each moment I stay, my friend is long gone, am glad they never promised to stay.  No one asks my anything related to my life, I am thankful for their hesitancy to get involved. I sit down in the kitchen table, all liqueur stains and bread crumbs, spilled milk on the floor. I get a red notification button on my phone. It’s half past 4, someone else asking me if I am alright. I chug the whiskey down my throat, same one as before. I leave through the backdoor and sent back an - I am okay.

[netgukim]

(* whispers in the dead of night*) - you never get farther than here

They said death has a symphony to sing

And I'll be its first seat violin

Said it's fine for me die as long as I leave something behind

But if what if I lose everything I have

And I only keep what’s not enough

To appease neither of us

And what if I end up what my teachers said I was = 

Wasted potential sitting at a bus stop 

And waiting for all the doors to close

What if all I end up wanting is death

Decay, the snapping of stems

I fear I have no roots left

Only the leaves that will fall out when autumn comes

And I can say - I tried, but that will never be enough

[netgukim]

A poem about a walk I had after the summer that ended me and you.

Good enough to be left stranded

On an island in the middle of the city

With your last words spiralling in my mind

Good enough to be kept at arm's length

To be the third option, to be the plan c

But not enough to keep your attention

Not enough to remember my birthday, or phone number

I know what it's like to be kept as a decoration

Like an unloved board game sitting on the top shelf 

Of a garderobe cabinet

Only to be played once relatives visit, only to be loved when bored

I know what it's like to not be remembered, to not be needed when it's all you ever strived for.

[tom-nippleston]

I have waited ALL FUCKING YEAR TO POST THIS

Santa is coming tonight.

[lich-of-the-golgari]

@alltheshit-althetime

[suntosirius]

THE ONLY CHRISTMAS POST I DON’T BLOCK

[fozby]

dancer is my life

[thedanliest]

YES HERE IT IS, JUST IN THE SAINT NICK OF TIME

[stagkingswife]

I love these funky little deer, gotta reblog at least once!

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags two or more songs you always listen to in immediate succession even if they are unrelated to each other. 

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[sweet-child-of-night]

my personality constantly switches between a pretentious literature professor and a wise illiterate idiot, there is no in between.

[left-reminders]

Down the drain: Wisconsin dairy farmers told to dump milk because of an oversupply in the market

A West Bend farm says it was told to start dumping tens of thousands of gallons of milk per day because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

'It's discouraging for dairy farmers:' Coronavirus' economic impact on Wisconsin

With the first case of coronavirus confirmed in Wisconsin, the impacts could extend further than just health.

This is capitalism's vast irrationality and inhumanity in action. Markets and The Economy™ matter more to capitalism than the concrete distribution of resources according to tangible human need.

Resources exist in abundance -- give them to people. Housing sits empty -- give it to people. The rules of the feast table should apply to our economic system -- no one gets seconds until everyone has gotten a plate.

We stand at a crossroads in these chaotic times: socialism or barbarism! The ruling class repeatedly chooses the latter. We need to organize and choose the former!

[left-reminders]

John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

[left-reminders]

People have been reblogging this with some points that seem fair to call attention to -- milk expires quickly, farmers are locked into a situation where they have to throw stuff out, etc. But the larger point we were trying to illustrate in the original post was that this system compels people to do irrational things in the name of market laws. We have a surplus of goods around us and yet we arbitrarily build up social constructs (property laws and exchangability) to prevent people from comfortably living off of these goods. Goods are produced and given away only if profit can be extracted from the process. These aren't immutable laws of nature, though, and most of human history hasn't operated this way. Not to suggest that things were just peachy keen in slave empires or feudalism -- class stratification in general is a big part of this, not just the particular market laws of capitalism. But it's still important to realize that these irrational all-pervasive market forces are a comparatively recent invention and that these historical moments of crisis demonstrate how truly anti-human production-for-profit and class inequality truly are. We believe that the economy should be more broadly democratized and managed on a for-need/for-use basis by the people actually impacted by the outcomes; that would entail workplace/community democracy, as well as a new emphasis on direct distribution of goods (rather than having those goods wait around to be bought).

Goods sit unused -- give them to people. Make sure everyone has the means to live a comfortable life. These seemingly obvious goals are perpetually blocked by billionaires and profit-sharks, who'd rather see people sleeping on the streets in the middle of a pandemic than have their bottom lines suffer any hit. Things are fundamentally top-down; we believe it is a reasonable proposal to start moving things into a bottom-up direction. That requires choosing socialism at this crossroads of human history.

[left-reminders]

Another reminder: capitalism artificially imposes scarcity.

[netgukim]

Bolt shut doors and taverns full of laughing people yet it's all so fake, yet it's all so far away and I keep blaming others, for the choices I made and even though I have promised to get better my hands still look the same, and the dirt roads I take in the nights never change I am sorry for the pain I cause, and for the footsteps that are soaked in other people's blood I wish it was mine I wish I had the decency to bleed out at the same time my enemies do but killing machines don't have the time to heal wounds and I have never felt at home anywhere other than a warzone so excuse the nights where I kept you awake when you wanted to sleep and don't cry when you don't see me up at the roof I promise that i'll come back and help you when you call if you promise to not call me so soon

[guiltrose-deactivated20180203]

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

[evercelle]

anemo resonance

[unioncarbidesuperfan66]

anyway i said i would do this after the whole thing was said and done… when i was looking for advice i found like “paint your nails and listen to happy music” buzzfeed bullshit so

here is my short real life abortion and early pregnancy survival guide (pastebin)

other links:

How to Get A Safe Abortion, No Matter How Far Along You Are or How Much Money You Have

Check here to see if medicaid will cover your costs

Financial aid for abortions

prochoice.org has a list for each state of NAF funded clinics and free hotlines for information.

WomenOnWeb.org and WomenOnWaves.org will ship you an abortion pill if it is illegal to get an abortion in your country.

[profeminist]

"just not seeing enough people talking about carl clemons-hopkins, the first out nonbinary actor to be nominated for an emmy, and the nonbinary flag gown they wore last night"

@mattxiv

Carl Clemons-Hopkins on IMDB

[rederiswrites]

You know, some of my favorite fics are abandoned.  And yeah, I wish they weren't  abandoned, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love them.  I certainly don’t wish they’d never been written.  Just saying, for those of us with dangling fics we guilt ourselves over.  It’s still better that you wrote what you wrote.

[iamemeraldfox]

Yes!!! And even if you never plan to continue, please leave it on. Don’t delete it. (Unless you want to) I keep rereading some unfinished fics every few months, they are some of the best. I love them so much! Thank you all for writing, however much you managed!

[bakerybutch]

batch block list of radfems: 

normallesbian, delusionsofwoman, sapphicdesi, nansheonearth, ladyknightingale, olli-the-anon, breadybreadybobeddy, twoxliberation, sapphos-witch-gf, female-malice, gaymalehomosexual, the-darkest-of-sorrows, radbluerose, fallenumbreon, garden-owler, xydie, randomist, tazmania3056, thevoid360, gorgonashouse, gabiscoito, femmesandhoney, newspace, diadvst, villanelleisgod, lavenderfeminist, creepyspit, rock-me-amadeus, dawninvintage, decadentdeath, lesbianities, translesbophobia

[atombombtom]

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

[atombombtom]

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

[atombombtom]

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

[bigscaryd]

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

[redwaltz]

Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.

[brunhiddensmusings]

this has been a very longstanding issue - before the muppet show was even a thing some muppets appeared in commercials, such as rolf the dog they had a continual problem where when people directing/shooting the dogfood commercial would give dirrection to rolf that they would be speaking to the muppet, to which rolf REPEATEDLY had to tell them ‘i cant hear you, you have to talk to him’ and point at the performer underneath him rolf is one of the most embarrassing muppets to need this direction as the performer is this, damn, obvious when not on camera

‘sir, i am a bathroom mat, the man you need to talk to is back there’

[petranaradulovic]

I did an interview with Gonzo one time, and when I got into the Zoom call, it was the actor on screen trying to figure out his audio. And then once he did, he went like “OKAY!” and then just like dove to the floor and it was Gonzo and there was never a moment when I doubted that the dude was just Gonzo’s tech guy 

[apricitystudies]

this is a breakdown of how i go about doing research for my essays! do keep in mind i am an arts student, so i don’t know how well this method carries over into other disciplines. check out my other guides to writing essays here and here!