Neurotypicals Once Told Me...

y'all we just really fuckin hate neurotypicals yuuri katsuki also h8s neurotypicals btw :3c disclaimer no. 1 disclaimer no. 2

[neurotypicalbullshit]

Hey all, two things! 

First off, just wanted to say thank you for over 1K follows, that’s so nice and cool, we’re glad that we could create a space where people feel like they’re free to vent and chill a bit.

Which leads into our second point, we’re want to apologize for the lack of activity here recently, we haven’t been ignoring your asks at all, we promise, all the mods are really busy this summer, with jobs and y’know, fun mental illnesses. We’re doing our best, activity will try to pick up soon, most likely around the start of the new school year though. :’)

-The Mods

[neurotypicalbullshit]

i did yoga for a whole year and it was able to calm my anxiety for one hour until i threw up in the yoga room so 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

did you read the fine print??

[jasper-rolls]

there’s a difference between “just do a little yoga it will cure your depression forever :)” and “going for a run won’t solve your problems but it will make you feel a little better and that’s the first step” but this site seems to treat them as the same thing

[neurotypicalbullshit]

My neurotypical friend just called OCD "Obsessive Cleaning Disorder" and fought with me when I said that's not what it stood for until she googled it and went "It can mean either!" like... no... it doesn't...

wTF does your friend even know how google works? …OCD isn’t… a “cleaning disorder”… that isn’t… real…

[neurotypicalbullshit]

Growing up, my mother denied me any and all diagnosis or medication for my fairly severe ADHD. She did, however, help me learn to stimulate myself and helped me stay focused when I was younger... But now that I'm older I'm terrified of getting medication but I have also completely lost the ability to focus again. I've given up of college past an associates degree, and the only reason I'm doing that much is my fear of disappointing my family...

i’m sorry you’re going through a hard time. starting medication can be terrifying, and there are all sorts of possible known and maybe even unknown side effects with psych drugs. but if you find one that works for you with minimal to no side effects, it can be life-changing. if you can and would like to, you can get a diagnosis and get prescribed medication without your parents’ approval now that you’re older (presumably over 18?). hang in there! 

[neurotypicalbullshit]

So Buzzfeed just posted a bullshit article today (may 17) where they basically mock fidget spinners and there's nts in the comments joining in the mock fest and I've just about had it with neurotypicals and their damn ignorance tbh :) For a website that purports to be inclusive, Buzzfeed sure is being hella ableist, huh?

first, sorry this is late! we (the mods) are really backlogged with asks and we’re trying to get to them now! some get pushed down and we try to answer asks that bounce off of other asks around the same time. thanks for waiting!

as for this ask:

@buzzfeed wyd? stop being ableist and shitty

[neurotypicalbullshit]

My gf has really severe ADHD (I have all the symptoms of depression but since I'm not allowed to go to a psychiatrist I'm not going to say I have it since I could be wrong) and she's struggling really hard in school but I still love her so friendly reminder: even if a friend/family member/significant other isn't "perfect" you should still support them. I honestly see too many people dumping their gf/bf/etc bc they have a disorder.

i think it depends on the person and the relationship - if someone has a partner who has a mental illness and it negatively impacts that person’s ability in a significant way to care for their own mental health, then the right thing to do would be to end the relationship.

though, there are some who don’t even try, or who get intimidated by a (potential) partner, family member, or friend with mental illness, and that’s often from a lack of understanding and maybe also some selfishness. it’s hard to say.

the point here is i think it’s difficult to judge a relationship that you’re not part of, and while the ideal would be for everyone to support and love their significant other, family member, or friend with mental illness, it can be more difficult than it seems. 

[neurotypicalbullshit]

I share a lot of symptoms with stuff like Adhd and Autism from talking to people who have them and also just personal research, but my moms really against self diagnosis and I'm afraid to bring it up to her. I just wanna know if you have any advice so I can have a better idea of my own mental health because I feel like being aware might help a bit more with things I have trouble with like socializing and focusing. Thank you!

is your mother also against getting professionally diagnosed? if she isn’t, ask if you can see a professional to get diagnosed. as i wrote before in a previous ask:

it seems a lot of people (on tumblr especially) regard self-diagnosis very highly. using online resources for yourself is a double-edged sword: there are the risks of falling into a self-fulfilling prophecy and confirmation bias, just to name a few. information found online can also help you learn more about an illness and how to manage it. not everyone has the time, capability, or the money to get professionally diagnosed, and that’s understandable. that being said, getting diagnosed by a qualified professional is the best way to go - it’s the first step in getting specialized help in the area that you need.

if you do research more on ADHD and the autism spectrum online, just be aware of the possible pitfalls. if you can get professionally diagnosed, i would recommend doing so!

[neurotypicalbullshit]

how can you make a sociopathic protag? I want to shed positivity and representation for socios bc of how alot of villians can be diagnosed with that stuff and none of the protags do. but idk how exactly. I have hyperempathy so the lack of it is hard to imagine

hi anon,

first, sorry that this answer is a bit late! i hope you see it.

i’m not sure exactly how to write a sociopathic character, as i am also an empath. none of our mods have any experience with sociopathy either. to start, i would recommend reading up on sociopathy - symptoms, possible causes, stats on prevalence in populations of interest to you. try and see if you can find articles written by sociopaths themselves, as first-hand accounts would be very useful.

best of luck!

[neurotypicalbullshit]

I sent an ask about possibly being autistic in two parts a while ago but I haven't seen it answered?? I'm sorry if you're really busy or something, I was just wondering

were totally sorry for not answering the ask! we have over 100 asks in our inbox at the moment, and we’re trying our hardest to answer them all! all the mods have been super busy recently, which is why theres been a decrease in activity! we promise we’ll get to it soon!! : D

[neurotypicalbullshit]

one time i got comfy enough with my counselor to tell her i think i have bpd and she told me, that i don't have it, only based of that i think i have it. like??? no other supporting evidence, just the fact that i think i have it, means i don't have it

before I go into this, here’s a general description from the NIMH (National Institute on Mental Health) that I will refer to in my answer: 

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days.

the diagnostic criteria in the DSM IV outline nine criteria, of which at least five or more have to be met consistently and clearly (at levels of clinical significance) over time (so, for example, not a one-off instance of having met one criteria a few months ago). 

one of the hallmarks of BPD (as outlined by the NIMH and most other literature on the disorder) is unstable relationships. I can’t say for sure if whether you are right or if your counselor is right. I do know that your counselor may be more objective than you are, and if she has the proper qualifications and training, after seeing you consistently in therapy for at least a few months regularly (averaging about once a week), she should be able to determine whether or not you have BPD. In evaluating the criteria, she would examine your relationship with her, how you react in that relationship, and what you tell her about your relationships with others along with other observations she’s made about you.

often, though not always, people with BPD don’t realize they have BPD, or they do, and refuse to accept it - even when the diagnosis is made professionally.

however, the fact that you think you have it shouldn’t be the only thing that leads her to think that you don’t have it. there may be more reasons that she hasn’t vocalized yet. if you think she might be mistaken, tell her that. ask her to go through the diagnostic criteria with you and talk about each of the symptoms. 

on that note, it seems a lot of people (on tumblr especially) regard self-diagnosis very highly. using online resources for yourself is a double-edged sword: there are the risks of falling into a self-fulfilling prophecy and confirmation bias, just to name a few. information found online can also help you learn more about an illness and how to manage it. not everyone has the time, capability, or the money to get professionally diagnosed, and that’s understandable. that being said, getting diagnosed by a qualified professional is the best way to go - it’s the first step in getting specialized help in the area that you need.

[neurotypicalbullshit]

My therapist told me that the constant intrusive thoughts I have when I'm driving that say to hit people and crash the car and drive off bridges, are perfectly normal and healthy. Apparently it's good because it means I'm aware that cars can be dangerous? And I'm just like ?????????

I haven’t read up on intrusive thoughts in a while but if I recall, even NTs have the occasional intrusive thought. Having them constantly, though, to the point that they distract you and pull away from your focus significantly, isn’t good. (That line of thinking is what we use in clinical diagnoses - does it impair your function in measurable ways?)

As for what your therapist said… I think most people know that cars can be dangerous but it definitely isn’t normal to have “constant” intrusive thoughts… @ your therapist check yourself

- mod minako

[neurotypicalbullshit]

Help my future mother in law posted a status on Facebook saying that Trump should be impeached because he has "antisocial personality disorder with psychopathic tendencies aka malignant narcissism" and now I'm having a massive fight with her bc not only is that information wrong, it stigmatizes the actual illnesses and also cluster b pds (or any mental illness) should not be the reason why he's impeached. There's a million other perfectly valid reasons other than mental illness!!

(Anon fighting with mother in law) she also gets most of her information about psychology from self-help books about escaping abusive relationships, and she also diagnosed her ex husband with same thing that these “25 doctors” have diagnosed Trump with. Her job is some general position at a university doing payroll. Which doesn’t qualify her in the slightest to be talking about mental illnesses

i have personally witnessed how harmful these “self-help books [on] escaping abusive relationships” can be. they’re not intended for diagnosing others, and i find (from some that i’ve read and seen reviews for) that they can perpetuate stigma. some abusers actually use them in their effort to play the victim (i’ve experienced this personally). 

it sounds like your mother is using them to justify perpetuating stigma and passing judgment when she’s not qualified to, you’re right. those books are for the actual victims of abuse to seek help (when they are effective - and from what i’ve seen, many aren’t).

tell her to square up and meet me in the parking lot behind denny’s tonight at 3 AM. i’m about to teach her a Thing™. i am (as i’m sure many others here are also) standing with you.

[neurotypicalbullshit]

I have a story about how early trauma made me hate the dentist. When I was younger I had to have a cavity filled and the dentist gave me novacaine but he put it in the wrong side of my mouth. So the side of my mouth that wasn't being touched was numb, and the part he was drilling into I could feel everything. Then I got in trouble for screaming and because I bit his hand. I've been terrified of going to the dentist ever since then

(anon is responding to this post) - 

the dentist definitely should have done things differently. first, use the anesthetic correctly. second, stop drilling, ask what hurts. maybe you’re screaming because it hurts more than it should. stop and think. some kids do scream and yell for no good reason, but better not to assume that’s all that there is to it every time, especially in health/dental care

[neurotypicalbullshit]

I have the dentist soon too but I was strapped down and anesthetized as a baby so I'm traumatized abt the dentist and it's my first time on laughing gas since then and I'm so scared holy shit

omg ahhhhh at least you’ll be out for the procedure? i’ve previously had all four wisdom teeth removed and they put me under for that (all out during the same procedure). it was also scary but at least you’re out for the really scary parts. you’ll be okay! try not to think about it too much!! 

[neurotypicalbullshit]

i was rereading some of the asks and i saw the reply by @captainskysolo - and it made me realize that the problem is much more pervasive than i’ve previously given thought to. no one really likes going to the dentist, but i didn’t consider that some might have that fear born out of trauma at a young age. i’ve given this some thought, and i’d like to share my observations and opinions:

i’ve worked with kids in developing countries in free clinics. i’ve volunteered in hospitals, i’ve watched medical reality TV shows, and have experience going to dentists, many doctors, and pediatricians for different things, and there is a right way to handle children who are scared. whatever training dentists/doctors/health care professionals are given needs to include better instruction on how to handle scared young kids.

kids need to be informed, reassured, comforted, and spoken to kindly, not strapped down and anesthetized. if a child is scared, have the health care professional (doctor, nurse, dentist, medical assistant or trainee) or even the parent (if allowed) to hold their hand. explain to them what the scary-looking tools are used for (”this one is to scrape off some of the germs that build up on our teeth over time. it shouldn’t hurt, but if it does, let us know!” “this little needle goes into your arm to let us put medicine directly into your body that will make you feel much better. there is a little pinch, but then you won’t feel it.” “this mask that you breathe into/this cream that we are going to put on your gums/this shot that will go into your arm will make it so that you don’t feel any pain when we help you or will make you take a nap for a little bit, and then when you wake up, we’ll be done, and you’ll be all better!” and, perhaps just as important as explaining is asking “do you have any questions?”)

the idea that kids should be seen and not heard, that they should obey mindlessly, that they should take information given to them by adults without question, is archaic, harmful, and can lead to trauma with lasting impact. kids are endlessly curious and a minute or two talking with them (not down to them) about what’s going on helps so much. 

i have no doubt that many adults who fear going to the dentist/doctor feel that way because of bad experiences when they were younger. i’ve seen and known some people that have fears so intense that they put off getting medical attention for a problem that they know they have that may be causing them pain and/or discomfort. delaying seeking help eventually ends up costing the patient and the healthcare industry more than if they’d gone to seek help earlier. i wonder if there are any studies on that - what bad medical/dental experiences in early childhood cost the U.S. or other countries in healthcare. whatever the number is, i know it’s too large.

i hope my comments here give rise to further discussion and deeper thinking on the problem. please do send in any asks/reply to the post if you have anything to add!

- mod minako

[switch]

you know those lawn mower robots? vegetarian roombas.

[emergencycocktail]

the implication in this post that regular roombas consume meat is frankly kind of terrifying

[shithowdy]

real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction

do stuff while waiting for other stuff

like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time

waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there. 

waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all

[maddiebiscuits]

THIS IS REALLY HELPFUL!

[vaspider]

I actually turn this into a game!

“How many chores can I do while the water is boiling for my tea?”

“Can I put away the dishes and wipe the counters before my lunch finishes reheating?”

“Can I sweep the floor AND change the laundry while the dogs are out back?”

You can totally do this! If you make it like a game, also, you will get better at it, and you can be like ‘yes, now I put away the dishes AND wiped out the sink before my water boiled, I am a level 2 Adult!’