Alive but Dead

**TRIGGER WARNING** Blog may be triggering but I do not promote self harm.. This blog is only to say my real feelings that I am hiding everyday. ~You can ask me anything and i am here to talk with and listen to you~

[nevereendinglife]

„Im okay“ I Said

[nevereendinglife]

Learn to love your life they all said and you will stop being depressed.... yeah tell me how

[depresseddisneyprincess]

[nevereendinglife]

So here I am again .... after trying and trying to get better .... I’m back that I just can’t handle it all ... living is so hard

[asking-the-death]

You need a private talk? Just send me an ask!:)

[nevereendinglife]

Here I am again ... I wanted to start new so I said I will not let it drown me and closed tumblr .. guess what it never left me .. the depression always stuck with me and now its worse than ever .. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore ... I don’t want to live anymore

[nevereendinglife]

... I changed ... But it’s a Bad change and i started to like it Even If If afects me everytime ... Should I Try to fix me, or this Bad change is somehow good ?... I feel so confused and lost sometimes ....

I think its a good change if you feel good with yourself...if you feel that its a bad change then you dont start to like it but you are forcing yourself to think so...i dont know how you chaned so i cant tell you exactly if its good or bad but you can send me a private me a private message to talk about it if you want 

[asking-the-death]

You need a private talk? Just send me an ask!:)

[nevereendinglife]

i dont know how much i can handle anymore ....everyone is saying im strong i can do it,but i cant....i cant anymore i feel like with the smallest thing that will happen to me ill break in half

[nevereendinglife]

thats what everyone says to me and seriously i hate it even if i know that u mean it .....NO i am not strong NO i am not strong enough for this NO i didnt choose anything of this...YES i was given this life but i dont know if i will survive it

[nevereendinglife]

:)

[nevereendinglife]

to die or not to die

[nevereendinglife]

I want to cut again....i told so many people ill not cut again but i guess it will not be the first time ill dissapoint someone

[nevereendinglife]

Failed attempt of me singing but idk why i just needed to do this to push my motivation and confidence and to distract myself...

[tricycl]

do you ever just want to go outside in the middle of the night and walk around and not actually do anything just observe and think and stuff

[nevereendinglife]

People: it is your fault u have depression...you should see things more positive..you should feel happy

Me: *feel little happy*

Life: ok fuck you you got too happy don't forget your place -giving you 1000 things that makes you want to cut again and just crawl into your bed and cry your eyes out

People : aw you are unlucky

Me: haha (no I am not fucking unlucky..that's my life. .i can't be happy or worse are to come)

[nevereendinglife]

Fuck my life #depression #broken