a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her, for some fucking reason âdamn the oxygen at your place must be mad crispâ and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently
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@neveria
a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her, for some fucking reason âdamn the oxygen at your place must be mad crispâ and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently
Iâm sorry, sir, I donât know what is wrong with your carâs engine but if you open and close the hood like this, it looks like the car is talking
*asexual laughter*
*homosexual laughter*
*bisexual considerate muttering*Â
*genderqueer requesting clarification as to what is meant by âopposite sexâ*
*Bill Clinton requesting clarification as to what is meant by âsexââ
The last one forced my reblog tbh.
Halloween DogÂ
(via)
Poodles are always so excieted after a cut
âAll right, anti-vaxxers. Letâs pretend youâre right. Youâre not. Pretending is not scienceâ - Hannah Gadsby - Douglas (2020)
Mollie Shepard by @vjatoch
70% paragon, 30% renegade, 100% done.
Why did she leave the family business? :â(
i bet those colors only shrimp can see suck major ass
jealousy isnât the way bro
throwback when i saw a post on tumblr that said âthe way you type the word âheterosexualâ with your eyes closed determimes how gay you areâ back then i thought i was straight but i wrote it so badly it even had numbers and looked something like âhr37w7jsjwneiwilâ
I love this.
Kidnappers: We have your father
Zuko: My father is in prison??
Kidnappers: He made us reevaluate our life choices and now we feel really bad so can you come pick him up?
Zuko: Oh my gosh, you have my uncle
Kidnappers: Iâm going to become a painter
Iâm sorry but thatâs fucking hilarious
i dont know what word the kid knows but uh oh
The kid now knows how to say âmotherfuckerâ. Because itâs a quote from the movie âDie Hardâ in which Bruce says, âYippee ki yay, motherfucker.â
UH OH
If he had seen the movie in German, his kid wouldâve only learned âSchweinebackeâ (pigâs cheek) :-D
Intergalactic AU
Then, later on, they got married. The end! Lol
Love how Aang had to sneak into the Fire Nation on a specific day of the year to get Roku to start talking to him while Kyoshi came back from the Spirit World just to tell a group of villagers âYES I DID kill your ancestor because he was a COLONIZER what are you going to DO about it??âÂ
this is exactly how it went.
absolutely nothing will top the video game experience of being SHIT at a video game but all the npcs you come into contact with are in awe of you for being the most amazing and talented person theyâve ever met
the seven year old daughter of some npc iâm helping out: PAPA! YOU MUST COME MEET THE HERO WHO SAVED MY LIFE!
me, dropping a grenade on the ground accidentally and immediately blowing myself up:
Pokemon is almost always the opposite of this. Iâll have 6 gods in my party and won the championship a half dozen times and some snot nosed kid with one diglet will still be like, âyou think you can beat me?â
Or Skyrim where Aela the Huntress alternates between acknowledging me as the leader of the Companions, says âYouâre the new kid right? Heard youâre not half badâ and maybe occassionally also mentions how we are married