kneady thing

18+ blog \ 21yo \ bi \ possibly nonbinary or smth \ any pronouns \ here for a specific brand of horny (often transgender)

[dotshaft]

[dotshaft]

[dotshaft]

[dotshaft]

[dotshaft]

[dotshaft]

[pretty-pink-kiwi-pup]

When a girl has her armpits out

[pretty-pink-kiwi-pup]

When a girls bush is visible

[apollos-boyfriend]

one of these days i’m gonna snap

[apollos-boyfriend]

this is about all it/its characters now actually. respect it/its pronouns or die by my hand

[pull-the-thren]

the funny thing about hypnosis is if you do it enough you learn things about how the mind works that make you sound kind of insane if you talk about them

[pull-the-thren]

"mommy will you make me forget my name so I can be a dumb slut?"

"I mean, in a sense you've already forgotten your name since you don't have direct access to that information mentally right now, even if the 'why' there is 'you're not currently thinking about your name.' To 'make you forget' is to install a limiter in your mental process that stalls the retrieval process so something that would typically be easily accessible on command becomes something you mentally refuse and obfuscate the refusal. This is actually how a lot of social niceties work, where it becomes convenient to 'forget' something and instead store it in your intuition where you can still access it when it's import-"

"mommy I wanted to be a dumb slut not a smart one"

"Actually, bimbofication in the traditional sense is the trivialization of background pattern-recognition in favor of small-scale heuristic functioning, put together with the aesthetic trappings of desirability. Binding your mental processes to heuristics actually takes a very smart slut who takes the time to make her background processes efficient, otherwise the bimbofication will stall out over repeated sessi-"

this continues until morale improves or a more appreciative daughter is found

[ysolt]

when it's lowkirkenuenly 41c during the day and 31c at night

[berdymane]

Reblog if you’d let a mutual smell your pits

[nonconwhump]

[dragon-butt]

lays a biiiiig wet egg the size of my entire body

dragon will see a kobold-sized egg and ask "is anyone gonna eat that" and not even wait for an answer

[bacony-cakes]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T EAT MY BIG WET EGG

[puts it back in there]

[dragon-butt]

what the hell i was gonna eat that.

...well. you look tasty enough i guess. C'mere

[bacony-cakes]

DON'T EAT ME EITHER! THAT'S WORSE!

[dragon-butt]

then give me the egg back!!! i'm hungryyy

[bacony-cakes]

NO! MY EGG! go purchase fast food or something!

[dragon-butt]

i don't wanna.

*grabs you and tries to squeeze the egg out* c'monnnnn it's just one egg i make like twenty of them every month

[bacony-cakes]

i make hundreds every month and you're not having a single one [creates more eggs but doesn't lay them so i just get more pregnant] oubgh

[dragon-butt]

*squishes and shakes you upside down* i know you have them in there. you gotta let them out

[bacony-cakes]

ok all this squeezing my tummy is turning me on. i am soooooo full of eggs and also hard as fuck

[dragon-butt]

yeah okay that's it. stuffs you in my mouth. Let's see how quick you lay the egg now

[bacony-cakes]

rolls back out and lands on the floor ass in the air

[dragon-butt]

POUNCES

[bacony-cakes]

on my ass?????? o/////////////////////O wraow......

[dragon-butt]

CHOMP

[bacony-cakes]

OWWWWIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE EATING MY ASS TOO LITERALLY!!!! STOP BITING ME IT'S REALLY PAINFUL

[dragon-butt]

LAY THE DAMN EGG THEN

[bacony-cakes]

you're going to eat it and i don't want you to eat my eggs.......

[dragon-butt]

ummm... i'll incubate it... for you...

[bacony-cakes]

ok! yippee! [lays it and immediately tries to put my big egg up you]

[dragon-butt]

waghhh!! waitt! let me do it... just give it here.

[bacony-cakes]

ok... but promise you won't eat my big egg i spent a week eating the food to get the nutrients for? pinkie promise?

[dragon-butt]

um okay! pinkie promise!

[bacony-cakes]

here you go... [rolls my tremendous egg over to you]

[dragon-butt]

*grabs it and turns around, spreading my wings to hide it from view. turns back around, the egg no longer in sight*

there. took care of it

[bacony-cakes]

[lowers my binoculars that i definitely didn't have before you turned around] ok are you incubating my big egg now? i heard a lot of wet noises and heavy breathing

[dragon-butt]

uhhhh yeah about that... um. i dont have any pinkies, so. i kinda just ate it. I WAS HUNGRY OKAY!!!

[bacony-cakes]

[makes the sound of a kettle coming to a boil and starts shaking and my eye is twitching] you did. what. to my EGG...,..

[dragon-butt]

yummy yummy in my tummy

[bacony-cakes]

[starts throwing lit bundles of dynamite at you]

[dragon-butt]

*parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* i can do this all day *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries* *parries*

[bacony-cakes]

[starts throwing big black bombs with skulls on them too] (they have a different timing so now you have to parry two different things at once)

[dragon-butt]

*skillfully completes these parries as well, yawning in boredom* come onnn step it up, this is getting boring

[bacony-cakes]

ok fineeee you can eat my eggs. fucking whatever. [hands you a handful of eggs that are making a quiet ticking noise]

[dragon-butt]

these eggs are too small, i don't want them. here, have them back *i stick them back in you*

[bacony-cakes]

no i insist you take those eggs they are... gourmet eggs!

[dragon-butt]

*shoving them deeper* no really i couldn't take them, they're much too small. i wouldn't be able to properly enjoy them

[bacony-cakes]

ieigugbhhdouhg7bghtbhbhh,,,e,,,e,,,h,,h,,,,, O/////////////////////////////////O

(trying desperately to regain my composure) buh... bh.. oughh... uh.... i have a larger gourmet egg?

[dragon-butt]

i'd love to see it then... and eat it

[bacony-cakes]

[lays a large, unusually sticky egg whish appears to be square at the back and is slightly glowing green]

ignore the stickiness i kinda came when you put all of those other eggs back up my slit. sorry

[dragon-butt]

um okay. is that what makes it gourmet? cause it looks really weird

[bacony-cakes]

critics say that it has a "unique flavour"... [accidentally looks at you in a way that completely betrays that i am trying to feed you a bomb]

[dragon-butt]

Hey Is This A Bomb Cleverly Disguised As A Gourmet Egg

[bacony-cakes]

y- uh- no! nonononononono! it's gourmet! it's gourmet! gourmet eggs look weird!!!!! because they're fancy! fancy people weird food!!!!!! aren't you fancy??

[awkwardly smacks the top part of the "egg" in an attempt to look enthusiastic about it]

...yeah?

[a large piece of the shell cracks and falls off, revealing that it is, in fact, an atomic bomb]

[stares at the bomb in a faux-horrified manner]

[dragon-butt]

...yeah okay, this egg's going back in you too.

[bacony-cakes]

ah fuck

[dragon-butt]

*picks you and the egg up, mashing you two together until the egg is gone* there we go. allll better. um. you wouldn't happen to have any more eggs would you. i'm still hungry

[bacony-cakes]

no the nuke is in the way

[dragon-butt]

hmph. whatever then. i don't care. see if i care. *tosses you aside disinterestedly*

[bacony-cakes]

[the force from the impact causes me to lay the nuke at incredible speeds, smacking you right in the snout with it]

[dragon-butt]

*parries* you're still trying to blow me up? after all we've been through together...? i thought i knew you... but you're just a traitor...

[bacony-cakes]

wait did you just parry the nuke into the air

[deep descending whistling noise coming from the heavens]

[dragon-butt]

um. oops. SAVE ME! *i dive and wriggle under you, covering my head with my paws*

[bacony-cakes]

eep!

[opens my mouth and swallows the atomic bomb whole]

[i expand to the size of the explsion for a few seconds and then shrink back to normal, opening my mouth to release a small wisp of smoke]

[i lay an omelette]

[dragon-butt]

dragon will see an omelette and ask "is anyone going to eat that" and not even wait for an answer

[daylights-rain]

so, tumblr actually has this cool "direct message" feature that you two might be interested in.

that said, i will be forcing my followers to witness what i had to

[trangoldin]

[notbop]

[maidslime]

Hey uh. My inbox tab is missing.

[maidslime]

its only on the app tho. I have it when I just log into the mobile site. Fascinating.

[new-bi-hours]

I had my dms disappear on my (other) blog when I got shadow banned so you might want to check that

You could post to a tag and see if it shows up in the recent section of that tag, that's what I did

[new-bi-hours]

it seems like this is actually a dumb ui change so you're probably fine

[maidslime]

Hey uh. My inbox tab is missing.

[maidslime]

its only on the app tho. I have it when I just log into the mobile site. Fascinating.

[new-bi-hours]

I had my dms disappear on my (other) blog when I got shadow banned so you might want to check that

You could post to a tag and see if it shows up in the recent section of that tag, that's what I did

[gothhabiba]

I love not playing along

[gothhabiba]

"she's gained a lot of weight lately" "oh, good for her"

"on the wrong side of 40" "huh, which side is that?"

❗️I am not playing along with you❗️

[579]

goldenglow throbbing boner. btw.

[virtualgirladvance]

pouring my beloved slime girl into this glass so she can nap on this hot summer afternoon i sure hope she gets a good rest

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

Isn't it winter for you right now?

[virtualgirladvance]

im adapting my material for the american market yeehaw

[3000s]

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

[bunniope]

what do you think i was jacking off to...?