chasing amy starters
all from kevin smith’s 1997 movie
I wish I was like these guys - getting stoned, talking all raw about chicks and fighting super villains.
I’ll trace a chalk line around your dead fucking body, you fuck!
He started it, fucking cock-knocker! He’s lucky I didn’t put my pen through his thorax!
We’re keeping it real, and we’re gonna get respect - by any means necessary.
Bitch, you almost made me laugh.
How do you manage to get away with this all the time? Shouldn’t cops be busting your head open right about now?
When you say it, it sounds so sexy.
Look out, boys - this kitten has a whip.
I just wish I was the one who gets to shoot you.
Archie and Jughead were lovers.
Man, I feel a hate-crime coming on.
I want you to go down to the corner store and buy yourself a clue.
Shit like that’s bound to happen when you make a kid wear a matching tie and slacks everyday.
I’m sure you can dry your eyes on all those fat checks you rake in.
I’m sorry, did I detect a note of bitter envy in there?
That car’s seeing more action right now than it’s seen in years.
You’ve gotta respect that kind of display of affection. It’s crazy, rude, self-absorbed - but it’s love.
You’ve got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
I’ve got a weird thing for girls who say ‘aboot’.
We shared a moment. And in that moment, one thing was made abundantly clear: this girl loves me, my friend. Loves me.
There’re a lot of chicks in this place.
Hey, hey, hey - you fucked up my cabbage-patch!
What a small fucking world.
Could’ve been worse - we could have not met at all.
Get up here and sing, bitch!
She is such a cunt!
I don’t usually get all mushy in public.
I have to sit here and work up the desire to fuck you later.
I’m sure you don’t love every girl you sleep with.
My mother brought me up to believe that if I can’t do something right I shouldn’t do it at all.
At least you blame yourself for your sexual inadequacies.
You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel - constant updates.
I’m sure the gay community appreciates your support.
Wait, wait, wait - you’re still a virgin?
I move to have that remark stricken from the record, on account of it makes you come off as completely naive and infantile.
You’ve got like thirty books there! We’re only there for two days!
Look at how slow you are. Christ, you move like a geriatric.
She’s programming you.
You should just find some other way to express your anger is all I’m saying.
I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it.
I love you. Very simple, very truly.
You’re the epitome of every attribute and quality I’ve ever looked for in another person.
I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider.
There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who’s ever made me the person I am when I’m with you.
Even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of you and what you’ve meant to me.
Here’s my comment: fuck you.
That was so unfair. You know how unfair that was.
Do you remember for a fucking second who I am?
I can’t just get into a relationship with you without throwing my whole fucking world into upheaval!
I’m fucking gay! That’s who I am!
If this is a crush… then I don’t know if I could take the real thing if it ever happens.
You looked weirded out back there.
That’s my couch you were fucking on.
There’s no ‘we’ here. You’re going to have to go through this alone.
For you, this isn’t about cool weird sex stuff, it’s about love.
Everybody has an agenda. Everyone.
I see you’ve been taking notes. Historically, yes, that’s true.
I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one.
How seldom you meet that one person who gets you… it’s so rare.
To cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender… that just seemed stupid. So I didn’t. And by leaving my options open, I was branded 'gay’, which to me was no big deal - labels are labels, you know? They define what you do, not who you are, I guess.
You’re not the right man. You’re just the one.
I give a shit what people think.
That boy loves you in a way that he’s not ready to deal with.
Do I detect a little inter-subculture cattiness?
See that guy there? He’s the devil, you understand?
Men need to believe that they’re Marco fucking Polo when it comes to sex - like they’re the only ones who’ve ever explored new territory.
The world would be a better place if people would just accept that there’s nothing new under the sun, and everything you can do with a person has probably been done long before you got there.
Since most of these people are rooting for the home team, I’m going to cheer for the visitors. I’m a big visitors fan.
I told you I was great at sporting events. Imagine what a bitch I could be if I knew what was going on?
That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it? Isn’t that what this little cross- examination of your’s is about? Well try not to be so obvious about it next time, there are subtler ways of badgering a witness.
If you wanted some background information on me, all you had to do was ask - I’d have gladly volunteered it. You didn’t have to play Hercules fucking Poirot!
Didn’t you know? I’m the queen of urban legend.
Some of it I did out of stupidity, some of it I did out of what I thought was love, but - good or bad - they were my choices, and I’m not making apologies for them now - not to you or anyone!
I was an experimental girl, for Christ’s sake!
Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point 'a’ to 'b’ - but unlike you I wasn’t given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all!
Can’t you take some fucking comfort in that? You turned out to be all I was ever looking for - the missing piece in the big fucking puzzle.
I want us to be something that we can’t.
Yo, look at this morose motherfucker here…
You big fucking softie.
I ain’t playing. Tell me her name, Mysterio.
Why don’t you shut up? Jesus! Always yap, yap, yapping all the time. Gives me a fucking headache.
What you don’t know about me I can just about squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon.
You and I hit a wall, because I don’t know how to deal with… your past, I guess.
I’m only going to say it once: shut up.
You’ve had so much experience, had such a big life; and my life’s been pretty small in comparison.
I know why you’re having such a hard time and it’s something that’s been obvious forever, but I guess I just didn’t acknowledge it.
You’re in love with me.
You’re attracted to me. Just as, in a way, I’m attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense - we’ve been together so long, we have so much in common…
Just 'cause a guy’s got a predilection toward dick jokes…
We’ve all got to have sex together.
We’ve been everything to each other but intimates. And now, we’ll have been through that together too.
You know I need this. You know it’ll help.
That time is over for me. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. And I didn’t find what I was looking for in any of it.
Maybe I just love you too much. And I feel hurt and let down that you’d want to share me with anyone. Because I never wanted to share you.
I love you. I always will. Know that. But I’m not your fucking whore.
He’s yours again.
Well, keep up the good work, man. Love them dick jokes. Love 'em. See ya.
I finally had something personal to say.
I mean, it can get ugly. I just saw this nun in line call this small child a cunt-rag.
