[newlywedwidow0717]

Nineteen Weeks

We are coming up fast on five months without you. It's your least favorite time of year now, we were supposed to go to Colorado this summer. I'll probably still go for our anniversary this July but being there without you is gonna fucking suck.

I miss you more than anything. Til I see you again. ❤️

[newlywedwidow0717]

16 weeks.

We are in Vegas this week for your brother's wedding, which is absolutely surreal. I was doing so good at being happy, and then your sweet brother smiled that Anderson smile and I just shattered.

It's like my heart just exploded with grief.. you didn't deserve to miss these moments, you were so damn young. I think that's what hurts more than anything, the life you were robbed of. 27 years young and it was all ripped away for no reason. Who the fuck dies of meningitis anymore?? You apparently do. God you would have loved this city babe, legal weed! You and I would have gotten deliriously fucked up together, laughing at how dumb I sounded. You had the most beautiful laugh. You would have been pissed at how much I lost on the slots, but always forgiven me because that's how we worked.

I feel like my soul is tainted by our love, and the life I feel we deserved. My vision is blurred by how much I miss you. Some days I don't even know how the fuck I make it through, I have often thought about how I could easily be with you again. But then I remembered the smile on Tom's face when Sara wanted down the aisle, when Patty laughed so hard at the shows, the lights of this city. I have to live this life for the both of us. I have to live so that nobody will ever forget you. ❤️

I fucking love you babe.

[newlywedwidow0717]

Week Five.

I am reposting this because I had written it on another profile:

Iremember so vividly the love on your face when you looked at me, like I was at that mattered to you. That image gets replaced almost daily by the way you looked in the hospital bed. The way you looked that Monday morning when you couldn't talk, the fear. Fuck. I miss you.

[newlywedwidow0717]

The Beginning.

I don't know how to tell you how he died, so instead I'll tell you how he stole my heart. Last week of February, we agree to meet. (Met online) he walks in my front door and I am infatuated, everything about this guy's makes me just smile ear to ear. He stays over for a few hours, and I just know I like this guy. I knew from the moment he walked in that my life was about to change, I had found my soulmate. My missing piece, my heart. I never believed in that type of shit before, soulmates or fate. It was just a big joke for us singletons, but he was my fate.

Every free moment I spent with him, it was easy. It was like we had known each other for ages. He told me he lived me two weeks later and I moved in two months after that. I'm not saying we didn't have our issues, oh boy we did, but he didn't fight like I was used to. He didn't call me stupid or names or anything like that. We talked about what bugged us, we made sure we were always on the same page. And we always said I Love You. He probably told me no less that twenty times a day that he loved me. I'm so grateful for that. To never doubt I was loved.

[newlywedwidow0717]

fourteen weeks.

Fourteen weeks. We should be blissfully coming close to our one year anniversary. We should be laying next to each other blissfully sleeping. He should be living in bliss.

Instead I am up at 3:38 in the morning reliving that Monday in my head. Every single Monday I relive it all.

I had an interview last week that you would be so proud of. I drove in two large cities this weekend calmly. You would be proud of that too. But then again, if you were here I wouldn't have had to drive. You would have. Because that's how we worked.

In two weeks I'll be going to your brother's wedding without you. It isn't fair, I have this guilt about being excited for it. Like I'm betraying you in some way. Like being happy without you here makes me an terrible person. I fucking miss you. I always fucking miss you.

I went on a date last week. It was nice, he kissed me. But he wasn't you. You knew how to kiss me. I miss your beard tickling my face. I miss the passion that you had for me. He was nothing like you, he was too skinny, too nerdy, too distracted. You wouldn't have liked him much. But maybe that's why I went out with him? Because he was so not you.

There is so much I want to tell you, about what our friends are doing. I miss sharing my gossip with you. You were the holder of my secrets. You laughed with me and got mad at the things I got mad at. When my friend was being an ass you had my back. You were my best friend.

Sometimes I wake up and for a split second I forget you're not here. I forget that you aren't just at your mom's. And in that millisecond I have peace.

[newlywedwidow0717]

Month Three.

I never thought that this month could hit with such a low blow as it has. That my breath could be completely knocked from my body in a single moment. That a simple trip to the store could make me hyperventilate.

That's what three months after losing you has done to me. What happened to this strong woman? Who could weather the darkest storms. You dying has made me weak, frail, small. Losing you has made me irrational, impulsive, terrible at adulting. I don't like this life that you left me. I know you didn't want to leave me but it doesn't make it suck any less.

The craziest part if month three is that I feel like I'm only a week out. That I just freshly lost you. And it fucking hurts. But month three reminds me that everybody else has moved passed you leaving. Month three has let people forget I'm still here. I'm still dying inside.

I still think about how if I got hit by that car, hit that patch of ice, ran that red light, that I would be reunited with you again. That I could feel your skin again. That I wouldn't have to be learning this new life without you to hold my hand.

I dreamed of you last night. You and me in the truck, cruising with the windows down and the warm breeze blowing. Dogs in the back seat happy as could be. The sun shine behind you as you smiled at me with that perfect mouth. I could almost feel your cheek under my hand again. And then I woke up. Alone in this new house that isn't ours. This new bed that you have never slept in. These sheets you would never have let me buy. Fucking Christ I miss you. I would trade my soul for a chance to touch you again.

[hitsubasadrabbit]

Remember fellow servers, it's illegal for your managers to make you pay for walk-outs.

Call the Labor Board (1-866-487-2365) if they ever force you to do so.

[thislifewouldbecool]

We’ve all heard it/said it before.

—————————————————————————————————-

Server: (to hostess) why are you double seating me?!

Server: (to hostess) why aren’t you seating me?!

Server: (to hostess) don’t seat me for five minutes, I’ll tell you when I get back (but never actually tells hostess...

[hitsubasadrabbit]

[iamaserver]

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS FOR SOMETHING AND 30 SECONDS LATER I COMPLETELY FORGET

I’M JUST LIKE:

[newlywedwidow0717]

I just wing it. Oh you wanted tea?? Silly me!!

[server-life]

I’m feeling very diet coke, too. Thanks for asking, asshole.

[tinamarkovich]

[serotonical]

How to break out of a zip-tie- potentially life-saving information

[just-another-bandom-blog-deacti]

You guys, please share it. You never know when someone is going to need this information.

[pettyartist]

PLEASE reblog this— zipties are one of the most common ways of binding a person upon kidnapping because they are cheap and hard to break.

Knowing things like this puts you one step closer to freedom if, heaven forbid, you fall into a situation where you need to use this information.

[eatyourveggies]

its like 50 seconds everybody should watch

[newlywedwidow0717]

I hate large parties.

Even worse than tables who think they are the only one in the restaurant are members of groups who don't seem to realize that they are, in fact, part of a larger group.

Me: I've got a grilled chicken salad with ranch dressing

Customer: I had a grilled chicken salad with bleu cheese

Me: Well, this one is ranch. Did someone at this end order the grilled chicken sal-

Customer: I need bleu cheese

Me: .....

Me: .....

Me: .... This one is ranch. So it's obviously not yours.

[puukani-deactivated20181006]

Why should people tip if the service is bad

Ok. So here’s the thing - 

I’m assuming you sent this to me because you read one of my “Waitress Chronicles”, presumably the one I wrote ABOUT tipping. 

The fact that you’re sending me this message means you didn’t *really* read it. I suggest you do. I know it’s long, but it’s worth it. If you’re really gonna be stubborn about it  though here’s a reader’s digest:

Your waitress makes $2.13 an hour if she’s lucky. Some places it’s less. 

"Bad" or "Slow" service is often your perception. Last night, for example, I was at dinner with my grandmother and our waitress was taking FOREVERRRRRRR. After looking around and being aware of my surroundings, however, I realized that there were about 20-22 seated tables, and exactly 3 servers. She was ridiculously busy. So her service wasn’t “Bad”, she was just up to her eyeballs in pasta and it wasn’t her fault. Why would I not tip just for that?

In another example, where I was the waitress, I only had 3 tables and we were slow, but my table wanted to use a coupon for a discount, which needs a managers approval. When we’re slow, there’s only one manager in the restaurant. And that poor woman was swamped. There was a problem with one of the grills, two cooks were late, our dishwasher quit, someone just called to RSVP a party of 40 and she was desperately trying to get more servers to work that night, and there were 2 other servers already waiting to get something from her just like me. 

So it took me a while. Was that my fault? Not even a little bit.

I’m not saying leave 50%. If you’re truly dissatisfied, leave 10%. If you leave less than 10%, after taxes and tip out your server loses money. And no matter how poor you think the service was, your server does not deserve to pay for you to eat in their section.