Nic McCool's Writing

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[roachemoji]

hey if you're running low on your meds and you've been putting off booking a Dr's appointment or calling your pharmacy, you should go do that right now.

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[jenivi]

[aflowerthatbloomsinadversity]

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

[fremedon]

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

[la-pou-belle]

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

[kestrelsparverius]

[adrnired]

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

[autisticexpression]

This is the worst addition to this post

[araku-validrava]

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

[wizardlizardinhislair]

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

[kingscrown666]

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

[the-haiku-bot]

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[astronomical-bagel]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[susiron]

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

[spaceinvaydr]

[headspace-hotel]

I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.

[hiveswap]

Amogus

[hellsitegenetics]

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Ag

Closest match: Clivina fossor genome assembly, chromosome: 13 Common name: Digger Slope-rumped Beetle

[sic-semper-hominibus]

re: that last post, ive said it before and ill say it again: no one deserves to die (deserving is fake and death is bad) but some people need to be stopped and choose to make death the only way to stop them

[richard-lengthenhancer]

I disagree. Pedophiles 100% deserve death.

[sic-semper-hominibus]

you are moralizing and weaponizing your disgust in order to construct and justify a category of person you're allowed to murder

what do you think you deserve for this?

[richard-lengthenhancer]

Sorry, no person deserves to die, thankfully child molesters and pedophiles aren't human, so this doesnt apply to them.

[sic-semper-hominibus]

denying the humanity of people who do horrible things accomplishes exactly three things:

give cover to people who haven't been caught yet by allowing them to use their humanity as "proof" of their innocence

silence any criticism of societal structures and institutions that facilitate those horrible things by putting the focus on individuals who are assumed to be so uniquely monstrous that the ways it was made easy for them are irrelevant

provide a shortcut to dehumanize anyone you feel like killing: simply accuse them of doing a horrible thing

3.a. if you've already established that only an inhuman monster could kill a child, then all you have to do to get people to burn down the jewish quarter is say that jews kidnap christian children to bathe in their blood

3.b. if you've already established that only an inhuman monster could commit rape, then all you have to do to get people to string up a black man you don't like is find a white woman who's willing to point at him while she cries and babbles

3.c. if you've already established that only an inhuman monster could molest a child, then all you have to do to get people to drag gay people behind their trucks is say that since gay people can't have babies, the only way they can make more gay people is by following a nefarious Agenda to "convert" children by molesting them

3.c.a. meanwhile if you try to address the rampant sexual assault of catholic altar boys, you're met with "don't be ridiculous, he's a priest!" (see #1) and with assertions that even if it does happen sometimes, those priests are just infiltrators who don't represent the church and there's no reason to make sure priests and altar boys are never alone together (see #2)

tl;dr: your disgust-based violent politics are not less reactionary than any run-of-the-mill homophobe or racist's disgust-based violent politics

[richard-lengthenhancer]

I realized how bad of a take this was after I added my last bit, i apologize for the idiocy i portrayed in my half thought out statements. And I appreciate the way you rebutted this with reasonable statements rather than going hog wild because I said something you didnt agree with.

[sic-semper-hominibus]

hey no worries. we've all been there, and anyone who says they havent is either 11 or afraid of their social circle

unlearning our kneejerk reactions is a process, and it's not a linear one. its good to practice thinking before we post, but sometimes thinking after we post just has to be good enough

[lakemojave]

So rare to see such good faith engagement and self reflection in a comment thread like this these days. Truly inspiring, both of you <3

[mangocryptid]

David Redefined 🏳️‍⚧️

Screen Print I made for my printmaking class!

[sessa23]

It's almost time for Zack and Cody's reservation at the Italian restaurant

[ryssbelle]

[oohsnickers]

[curliestofcrowns]

I’ve been thinking about this daily since it crossed my dash

[impling]

little mans is 100% correct.

[animatedamerican]

I'm gonna put I AM BRAVE OF THIS MEETING on my cubicle wall at work and never explain it.

[dr-otter]

Think about the donuts of your day!

[cidnangarlond]

"i don't like the women in x media because they're badly written" "it's so hard to like the women in y media because they're all written so poorly :(" when has that ever stopped some of you people from liking poorly and atrociously written men

[android1000]

me butt ass naked choosing a song before i step in the shower

[grosezero]

Holy SHIT do not do this. Do NOT actually listen to music when in the shower. The water and moisture in the air will be electrified by the audio waves and it kills your brain like snake venom 

[grosezero]

Sorry for my image 

[little-robin-h00d]

I love hearing completely wrong information on tumblr dot com.

[grosezero]

Hey its me. Im under attack by fucking SJW cringelords on tumblr. Take care of this for me.

[hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao]

I,m on the way

[ultrafacts]

[liluglydudefromdetroit]

So play like a noob? got it

[filipfatalattractionrblog]

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

[direwolf-distributor]

Chessmasters when their opponent doesn’t make one of the five approved optimal opening moves:

[queerscout]

#used to do shit like this when we fenced#for real tho a newbie is way more of an issue than a master because WHAT are you doing???

I’m currently a fencing coach for a high school club and my least disciplined fencer routinely beats kids who have been fencing for 5-6 years because he’s just so unpredictable and messy that his opponents have no idea what to do.

[cephalopodvictorious]

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

[princecharmingtobe]

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

[chaointe]

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

[chokopoppo]

[athingofvikings]

“The best swordsman on the planet doesn’t fear the second-best swordsman. He fears the new swordsman, because he has no idea what the lunatic will do.”

[catgirlforeskin]

One of the main reasons fencing against a total beginner can be difficult is that they have no self-preservation. They either don’t know or don’t care to defend themselves the way someone with more experience does, and have no issue leaving themselves vulnerable to make attacks, which breaks down the usual tempo of a fight and puts you on the defensive (because you value your safety), and you don’t want to be on the defensive.

[unoisveimved-un-medicated]

If I had a nickel every time I recieved fencing advise from a trans girl on tumblr with the term catgirl in her url I’d have two nickels! Which you know it’s not a lot but it’s funny it happened twice.

[catgirlforeskin]

We have a long and treasured warrior history. Google “warrior cats” to find out more

[dragongirlteeth]

Oh yeah I used to fence as well, and I LARP now but the theory still kind of applies, the new guy swinging a sword around wildly is a much more annoying fight.

[valtsv]

now i might be wrong. but i'm pretty sure these aren't omens. like these are just things that can kill you.

[valtsv]

this is like if i said i'm a prophet because i know exactly when you'll die and then pulled out a gun and shot you with it

[valtsv]

[samtf-deactivated20211025]

"mom's not home, you know what that means" walks around the house talking to the imaginary audience for three hours straight

[river-songs-second-wife]

*watches cringey movie on the big tv instead of my laptop*

[the-quasar-hero]

Vampire that’s dirt poor, doesn’t have a sprawling manor or vast riches accumulated by interest. Can’t afford those black leather boots they really want. Travels as a bat to save money not cuz they like it.

[lamborghinea-pig]

Vampire that was super ugly in life so the vampiric glow up just made em a solid 5

[the-quasar-hero]

Vampire too socially awkward to seduce/compel ppl to feed off them. Has to have their Chadier vamp friends to do it or steals blood bags from the hospital.

[lamborghinea-pig]

Vampire who turned into mist in a steam room and couldn't figure out which parts were him vs water, so he got stuck there for weeks

[asingularcanadian]

vampire who's afraid of flying so anytime they turn into a bat it makes them incredibly queasy

[the-quasar-hero]

Vampires having a “wine” tasting trying out different types of blood, discussing various textures and tastes and stuff like that. But one vampire honestly can’t tell the difference cuz they don’t like the taste anyway.

[book-hag]

vampires who don’t like the taste of blood so they have to disguise it by adding artificial flavors (fruit punch, watermelon, strawberry kiwi, NEVER blue raspberry lest it change the color too much and the other vampires judge them) in order to stay properly hydrated

[the-quasar-hero]

Vampire that was obsessed with skincare when they were human, but now mirrors don’t work for them so they’re constantly looking for ways to see their reflection.

[asingularcanadian]

vampire that doesn't really need a familiar because when they were human they were just some working class schmuck used to taking care of their own business so they just pal around with them instead

[emotionalllamas]

Vampire that brings a night light to coffin cause they’re to scared of the dark

[the-quasar-hero]

Vampire that while in bat form hangs out with regular bats thinking they’re also vampires. This goes on for weeks before they realize they’re just normal animals.

[the-quasar-hero]

Diagram:

[gallopinggallifreyans]

we figured out Roman concrete btw. This is the only thing on my mind

[nongunktional]

Oh? Do tell?

[gallopinggallifreyans]

HOKAY. Doing this in layman’s terms because I could not explain the chemistry in detail if I tried. Pls forgive if I’m a little off in the explanation because idk chem lol

So we’ve been trying to figure out why the fuck Roman concrete has held up so long, right? Our concrete lasts maybe like ten years before it looks like it took a wrecking ball to the face. And even then, our roads suck in general. Universally. Potholes. Everywhere.

Roman concrete has lasted two thousand years. Or more. Depends on where you go.

Now a bunch of scientists took chunks of concrete and threw a bunch of waves at it to figure out the composition, and turns out the concrete has lime in it. At first they were like “Huh, that’s weird, why are these imperfections in this super durable long-lasting concrete?”

So anyways they dismissed the lime, and they also figured out that Roman concrete is suuuuuper strong in water. Like it gets stronger in water. Compare that to our shitty ass concrete. Our concrete suffers in water. It’s shit. Our concrete is a middle-schooler’s newspaper bridge project compared to the Bifrost that is Roman concrete.

Now, because chemical composition is fairly easy to figure out, they found volcanic ash. We don’t have volcanic ash in our concrete (as far as I know), so idk I guess they thought that was the differential factor that made Roman concrete so strong. To my understanding, the Romans used hydraulic mortar rather than aerial mortar. Hydraulic mortar could harden with hydration and reactive silicates, whereas aerial mortar needed exposure to the air and was weaker.

Now, remember those imperfections I mentioned earlier? Lime is very, very weak. You ever felt limestone? Yeah. You get it. So it’s not hard to figure out why we thought these were actually imperfections in otherwise amazing, god-like, S-tier concrete. We used to think it was slaked lime, which is just lime paste.

One of the labs involved in the research developed a chemical mapping technique that allowed them to determine the exact makeup and type of lime present in the concrete. They figured out that this particular form of lime might have been quicklime, which is extremely brittle and very reactive. Quicklime forms at extremely high temperatures. We mix our concrete cold. Another common modern L.

In short, the Romans engineered preferential pathways for faults in the concrete to pass through the lime, which would react to hydration and recrystallize as more lime (calcium carbonate) and heal itself.

This is groundbreaking. I’m so amazed. Here’s the MIT publication, and here’s the journal article.

[nongunktional]

Ah, I see, road fuseboxes.

[gallopinggallifreyans]

Basically yeah! Especially if those fuseboxes are filled with quick hardening foam and look like they were left there by accident, except they’re everywhere so they couldn’t possibly be an accident.

[therobotmonster]

Apparently they’re already working on methods of adapting this kind of concrete for modern use. We could potentially fix the US’s crumbling infrastructure and simultaneously upgrade to vastly superior long-lasting materials.

[gallopinggallifreyans]

@corrodedcoffindisbanded it’s 8:30am this made me laugh so hard I woke up

[piierrote]

dear lesbian at the pride night at the emo club, thank u for the kiss. sorry I am a boy.

[piierrote]

FUNNIEST REPLY EVER I AM ALREADY TRANSGENDER

[hotvampireadjacent]

Do You Promise ?

[hotvampireadjacent]

‪The cops who vow to quit watching me support Johnson:‬

[kingfaggot]

eyyy!! also we're not just voting to be funny and epic, but because his rival is SUPPORTED by these shitheads!! GO OUT AND VOTE!!

Vallas invited DeSantis to come up and speak with officers!! he is a threat!

we were clearly not happy w Lightfoot, but we need to make sure we don't let Vallas in either!

why vote for Johnson Brendan?

he is actively encouraging ppl to vote and showing up in underserved neighborhoods!

(this link is used bc sun times has a paywall)

Johnson supports social services, and queer kids... and honestly reading about Vallas in that link should also tell you a lot...

please use your voices. if we don't get out, Vallas' supporters will unopposed.

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

[toolusingmammalgirl]

Disconnected Thoughts on Art Reproduction:

Hokusai’s Great Wave fascinates me because, unlike almost every other artwork in that bracket of fame, it was never a bespoke piece that was only later reproduced. It was a commercial print right from the start, and while versions of it can be identified as belonging to different print runs, there is no meaningful ‘original’ aside from the long-since-discarded printing plates.

Even better, this state has been imposed on artworks that were once unique. In 2021, the art collective MSCHF bought an Andy Warhol sketch at auction for $20,000, made 999 meticulous forgeries of it, shuffled them to destroy any record of which was the original, and sold each piece for $250 as Possibly Real Copy of ‘Fairies’ by Andy Warhol, by MSCHF.

As with many smartass art collectives, MSCHF’s projects range from eye-rolling to kinda clever to brilliant, but I think this is their magnum opus. It has exactly the kind of unwieldy literal title I adore. The original work has been arguably destroyed, but in a way that Warhol would adore. It’s the most pointed way to ask art buyers, do you care about the actual artistry of the work or just the bragging rights of owning the original?

—

Artistic domains where reproduction is trivial are often prone to the Superstar Problem: Why would I listen to the world’s 50th-best cellist when I can stream all the Yo-Yo Ma I want just as easily? NFTs were pitched as a solution to this, marking the original or master copy of a natively-digital work to let it retain value. But even if the crypto market didn’t have its own 2008 every few weeks, I don’t want fine-art auction houses to be the future of digital art, especially when there are already plenty of existing ways to mitigate the problem. A fursona, a tabletop-game character, a niche Blorbo, etc. are all bespoke value-adds that enable a much greater range of artists to get commissions. But these require a culture of art fans who don’t care about flipping it at Christie’s, often overlapping with fannish cultures where plenty of artists operate at all experience levels.

I don’t have any tidy conclusions for this, but I just want to say that an earlier version of this process - “paint me a biblical scene, and put me in it to flex my wealth and piety” - culminated in one of the funniest artworks I’ve ever seen, Francisco de Zurbarán’s Christ Crucified (With Donor):

[reconditarmonia]

An interesting addition to this discussion is that Tumblr or another scrolling newsfeed-based site is absolutely the funniest way to encounter this painting for the first time. I was not prepared. Thank you, OP.

[shredsandpatches]

YEAH, I was like “well, I don’t see what’s so funny about–THERE it is.” Actual lol.