posted by Alex Casiguran
As I was waiting for a text for a confirmation of a dinner out, I decided to grab a bite at Starbucks in McKinley Hill. I was reading blogs and reviewing some articles for a compilation of short stories that we were working on for a celebrity friendâs coffee table book. On my 4th or 5th edit, I canât help but notice a dude from across my nook badly tearing up as he fidgets and reads through what seemed to be text messages from his phone. His mobile rang non-stop as he continuously declined one call after the other. I ignored the first couple of instances. Until he stood up and left the phone. I initially thought he was leaving. So I called his attention and pointed to his phone. He came back and said âSorry.â
Sorry. Odd word to say when all I did was to point out his belonging. Then he went back and sat on his chair. As he looked really bothered, I felt I had to do something so I asked, âIs everything OK man?â The dude, probably in his mid twenties said, âI failed the BAR exams bro.â And just like that he started to really tear up again. Oh man, what do i do?
Apparently the calls he has been declining are from friends and family who might be offering him some warm words of comfort. He asked me if I want to join his table. With his face looking all glum, I had to oblige. So I sat across his chair and just started to listen to him. He recalled about countless hours spent in reviewing and losing on many family celebrations because he chose what seemed to be the right thing then. Having no experience whatsoever in taking an exam that will later on define your career (except for the UPCAT), I resorted to just listening. I have spoken about my endeavors and how after many attempts and failures, I was able to still salvage my dignity and move on. After all, there really is no other choice but to do so, right?
Another hour passed and we were already exchanging stories about Ginebra, SAF44, the advent of social media bashing and Binay. When i saw him relax, I said I had to go. He thanked me profusely. I told him to keep his chin up. That I am not telling him to get the BAR again or not, as it is entirely his choice. But I did tell him to allow himself to grieve and feel all the pain that this brought. It will be him to decide later on that the grieving should stop and that he should muster all the confidence and strength that he has and choose to move forward.
As I was standing up, his phone rang for the nth time. But unlike the previous times, he took the call this time. As I walked away, I gestured a salute sign, making sure he is vouched a vote for confidence. I hear him saying âPa, yup. Iâm okay. I know Pa. I will take some time to rest and clear my mind. Then I will see my options.â Exactly the mindset that any grieving person should have. Not to pretend that they are ready, not wallow even more in the trouble. But to accept the moment and validate the challenge and hardship being experienced. After all, once the pain ends, a milestone is realized.
I left feeling good. Not because I helped but because I was able to prove once again that humans, despite the varying backgrounds, are more alike than unalike. That the warmth of family is appreciated, but sometimes, the words of a complete stranger are good to reinvigorate the soul.
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