eh, not my preference, and i seriously doubt we share any servers anyways because.. well, we arent really in any because we dont like being social, and we certainly arent in any big official ones. one on one convo like dms or discord tend to not work very well for situations like this because, as i mentioned, socially awkward and from that point on itd fully be on the other person to keep anything going since we dont really like reaching out firsf to people we arent close with.
ill be honest, they kind of did scare me off a tiny bit lmao, i dont like being told to quiet myself down in any way even if its completely true and necessary haha .. but eh, ill try a bit harder nonetheless.
i thought of two new things, the ears on the hood and the mask. personally if you asked me whether the ears were real or not i honestly couldnt really tell you.. i could move and feel them like actual ears but when the hood comes off theres nothing there lol. my mask was also like that for some reason, by all means just .. a normal mask, but it worked more like my actual face when i wore it. eyes moved and blinked, could make expressions and open my mouth etc.. crazy (shrugs)
Yeah I mean. We have ADHD so we forget about people we aren't close with so fast it's not even funny anyway.
And like if you aren't comfortable then like, you aren't comfortable. That's okay.
As for my mask, the only thing that I moved were my eyes. In headspace me and the others can move the ears to express ourselves but we couldn't like.. actually in our own bodies. Sometimes we can emote with the mask in the headspace too but like again, not in our bodies. Something about life in the headspace has to be extra expressive for us because we don't have an inner voice to hear each other.
So a lot of our communication is via images or emotions or thoughts. Unfortunately this leads to a lot of us also accidentally invading each other's memories but we've worked on controlling that better.
Also I get you. We're always told we talk too much. Marshmallow is.. he's always so stressed coming out from doing headspace stuff he fronts alone on purpose or with some of our more mute or semi verbal alters so he can have company but also sit in silence.
Dyslexia does make it harder to read for sure but I'm just excited to get an ask.
I have less suspicions about you now though so I'll tell you about the emoji and why I held off saying anything.
That emoji you sign off with has been the same emoji sitting in our discord status for quite some time.
I held off on telling you because awhile back a group of bullies tried to accuse us of being racist and supporting slavery despite no proof (what worried us was that people seemed to believe them anyway). All because we used Pluralkit on discord and they didn't like that. Yeah our attitude got a bit hostile and we became extremely on edge and our abusers kept trying to make themselves sound innocent like we shouldn't just assume they were being mean. And I doubted myself really bad, I kept wondering if we were just digging this hole but we also remember that it literally started with them attacking us.
There was even one instance where they tried to bait an alter of ours into flirting with a minor. It failed of course, not only because they were a minor and part of this group, but even if they were an adult we don't like our alters being sexualized and we most certainly aren't interested in our attackers, attacker's supporters or some random strangers we don't even know.
So I was wary that somehow you using this emoji meant that you were one of them. Not to mention you being a minor. Needless to say I'm still on edge since you're not opening up about your discord but those ARE your boundaries. And frankly we insist on always respecting boundaries.
Being a system is shitty and us being so open about it does unfortunately put a target on our back. But we look at it a few different ways. One, we show other potential systems whether or not this is a safe space to engage so they can decide from there. But two, most importantly for our sakes, we can find out who our real friends will be.
It's less exhausting than masking and coming forward about it and then all the "I don't understand why can't you be one person" "who was fronting the most" "okay so who's [username]" etc. or even them secretly starting to make fun of us behind our backs. Though that can happen either way.
