Wanted to share something!
My mama is Disabled, she got diagnosed with lyme disease at 12 and has been slowly becoming sicker as she ages, collecting new and fun diagnoses along the way. She is incredibly autistic in the way that is obvious to the people around her and inhibits her ability to make meaningful connections with peers. She was also raised in a very abusive and harmful environment, and got stuck with some very awful men, only very recently pulling free from abusers and finding safety in a way she never had before.
Despite this, she has tried very hard to not let it hold her back from living her life. She did incredible in school, was offered positions at art schools (but declined), she went to college for Biochemistry, and to school for herbal medicine, she won dog shows and trained dogs, helped on her family's farm, she single handedly raised and homeschooled me and my sisters (all autistic, eldest Audhd), while protecting us from abusive fathers and her own illness.
She took us to travel the country, she took us hiking and skiing and took us to ballet, she helped backstage for the over 8 years of performances through her pain and sickness.
She took in and protected kids and young adults that had nowhere to go, she taught people, helped people, protected people, ran a wildly successful blog, was featured in the New York Times, there was a documentary made about us, she created and managed our little farm. And never once in my life did I feel unheard, unloved, uneducated, unaccepted or unappreciated because of her.
Through this all she struggled with her health, trying different things; diets, exercises, western medicine, easter medicine, everything.
And she has NEVER stopped studying. She studies childhood/human development, psychology, sociology, sex, death, medicine, religion/spirituality, politics, education, art, literature, critical thinking, sciences, argumentation and negotiation, the list goes on.
As my sisters and I age, finding our footing in life, she has been struggling with feeling valueless in the family. She prides herself on giving, and with all of us growing up and away, it has been a tough time.
We hung out yesterday (went thrifting and got coffee) and she told me that she had enrolled in Yale courses online. It was the first time in a long while that I had seen her light up and be excited about something, she told me all about her classes and the ones she wants to take, and we talked about how she was doing (best in the class, of course.)
I am so incredibly proud of her for finding something that she loves and is able to do without putting her body in jeopardy, that she is stepping out and doing things for herself, following her passions, and furthering her life despite her self doubt.
My mama is my role model, my muse, my inspiration, and my mentor. She believes her biggest failure is passing her illnesses onto us kids, but it is because of her that DESPITE my disabilities I am able to follow my dreams and live a full and happy life, because of her I have the confidence and the skills to navigate adulthood, acquire high paying jobs that fulfill me, go to college, pursue my hobbies, have healthy successful relationships, and be capable of taking care of myself and others no matter what.
She taught me how to be a person, an adult, an artist, an academic, a teacher, a student, a community member, a sibling, an activist, a woman, and will someday teach me how to be a mother, an aunt, and a grandmother too.
I would not be the incredible person I am if I did not have my mama, and she did all that while struggling under the weight of societal expectations and her failing body.
Never let ANYONE tell you that being disabled or chronically ill means you cannot follow your passions, contribute to society, be a parent or a partner, have a career, and lead a good life! We are so strong and our disabilities do not define nor confine us. We take the hands that we are dealt and we learn how to turn it into something worthwhile. I may never be a professional ballerina like I dreamed of, but I will be happy and I will be strong, and that is because of my mama.