僕が愛した歌だ

This is the song I loved.

[nikkidoujin]

Counterclockwise

producer: ryuryu - りゅーりゅー

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: july 17, 2010

genre: post-rock

長い長い夢の果て At the end of a long, long dream どこまでも時計の針は回り続ける the clock's hands keep ticking, forever and ever

言葉が意味をなくした The words within those memories I left behind 置いてきた想いの中 lost all their meanings. 過ぎ去った時間を辿った I still couldn't see you 君はまだ見えないまま as I walked down memory lane.

そっと　時計を巻き戻して Gently, I rewind the clock. 遠く離れた　時間と距離をつないで Time and space connect, torn far apart no more. 小さな手のひら　握りしめた途端に And the moment I tightly held that little palm, 叶わない夢から覚めた I woke from a dream that would never come true.

まぶたの裏側　君は　　 You, who lies behind my closed eyes -- 少しずつ　形を変えてゆく your form is taking shape, little by little…

いつかは忘れてしまうって That I'd end up forgetting everything one day 僕はまだ知らないまま is something so foreign to me now. この胸が痛むことだって My heart aches, 構わずに時計の針は回ってゆく yet the clock's hands go on, paying no mind.

そっと　時計を巻き戻して Gently, I rewind the clock. 遠く離れた　時間と距離をつないで Time and space connect, torn far apart no more. 小さな手のひら　握りしめた途端に And the moment I tightly held that little palm, 叶わない夢から覚めた I woke from a dream that would never come true.

途切れた君への言葉 These words are for you, who was interrupted.

伸ばした手のひら　君に触れた途端に And the moment I reached out my palm for yours, 叶わない夢から覚めた I woke from a dream that would never come true.

[nikkidoujin]

Yuureibyou - 幽霊病 - Ghost Sickness

producer: 凪ヤナリ - Nagi Yanari

CeVIO: kafu

release: february 17, 2022

genre: pop rock

僕は I am 幽 幽 幽 幽 a ghost, ghost, ghost 幽霊病に侵されてる suffering from ghost sickness. 「 も う い っ か い 」なんて “One more time!” I say, 誰にも聴こえやしないさ but no one can hear me. ない ない ない ない No one, nobody, nothing – ないものねだりで nothing but asking for the moon, どうしようもないね but I just can't help it. 無為のまま 夜に消える Without doing anything at all, I fade away into the night.

くだらない How absurd. 今宵 千鳥足 帰り道 A drunken gait while taking the path home in the dead of night. 薄ら笑い 絆されていたみたい It seems I was moved by that faint smile. むせる花の香りに 甘いまま残る昨日 Yesterday remains sweet with the choking fragrance of the flowers, どっちでもいい 触れられないから　 but it doesn't matter, anyways. I can't touch you.

綺麗な君の眼が怨めしい　 Those pretty eyes of yours are detestable.

僕は I am 幽 幽 幽 幽 a ghost, ghost, ghost 幽霊病に侵されてる suffering from ghost sickness 「 も う い っ か い 」なんて “One more time!” I say, 誰にも聴こえやしないさ but no one can hear me. ない ない ない ない No one, nobody, nothing – ないものねだりで nothing but asking for the moon, どうしようもないね but I just can't help it. 無為のまま 夜に消える Without doing anything at all, I fade away into the night.

うつらうつら I'm half-asleep. 燻る紫煙 佇む影法師 Smoldering smoke. The shadow stands firm. 思い出せないままに積もってゆく And while I still remember nothing, everything is piling up…

散々な日々に夢を見て Within those dreadful days, I dream. ばいばい ばいばい "Bye-bye, bye-bye." うしろの影法師 にやり The shadow behind me grinned, 嗤っていた sneering.

相対した綺麗なキミへ To the beautiful you, who I directly faced: 見当違い 世迷言 嘯いて you're misunderstanding it all. You're spouting nonsense. 寄る辺ない現世 This world is a hopeless one for me. 常世に焦がれてしまう I've ended up yearning for the land of eternity.

僕は I am 幽 幽 幽 幽 a ghost, ghost, ghost 幽霊病に侵されてる suffering from ghost sickness. キミ以外なんて Right from the start, 初めから見えちゃいないさ I couldn't see anybody but you. Cry Lie Lie Lie Lieだけの夜 A night only of and for lies. 踊っていようぜ もっと Come now, let's dance some more この闇に溶け合ってさ and melt into this darkness together.

何もかも全部 狂ってしまった悪夢を見ていた I was having a nightmare where everything went completely mad. 取り憑かれたパラノイア I was possessed by paranoia; まるで呪われてたな　 it felt almost like a curse.

ふと見やる鏡に映る僕の顔は I looked in the mirror and suddenly saw my face's reflection. 不思議なほど影っていたんだ An uncanny shadow was staring back at me…

僕は I am 幽 幽 幽 幽 a ghost, ghost, ghost 幽霊病に侵されてる suffering from ghost sickness 「 も う い っ か い 」なんて “One more time!” I say, 誰にも聴こえやしないさ but no one can hear me. ない ない ない ない No one, nobody, nothing – ないものねだりで nothing but asking for the moon, どうしようもないね but I just can't help it. 無為で嘘ばかりで While I listlessly tell lies, 狂ったままの夜に消える I fade away into this still topsy-turvy night.

[nikkidoujin]

Himitsu no UFO - ひみつのユーフォー - Secret UFO

producer: ナユタン星人 - NayutalieN

CeVIO: kafu

release: august 18, 2021

genre: pop rock

オーマイオーマイオーマイラブ Oh my, oh my, oh, my love, ほんとのところはギャラクティック is truly galactic. 揺らめいて　綺羅めいて It wavers, it sparkles too; それでも心は　ひ・み・つ still, my heart is a s-e-c-r-e-t, だから after all.

なぜだか胸が高鳴るの（キュン） No idea why, but my heart goes haywire (Thump-thump!) あなたと言葉交わすたび（ピッ） whenever I exchange words with you. (Beep!) 以心伝心　異次元の It's a precise reading of thoughts 精度で思考をリーディング using telepathy from a different world.

アタマにはえた触角に（キュン） The antennae that sprang from your head (Thump-thump!) それがオシャレと言うけれど（ピッ） were super stylish and all, but (Beep!) わたし見たのよ光るとこ I definitely saw it! They were glowing! 気になって眠れない I'm so curious I can't sleep! 　 知らないうちに恋してる A heart that falls in love in the blink of an eye ハートと似てるね suits me, doesn't it? あなたの事ばかりを All I end up thinking about 考えちゃって is you.

オーマイオーマイオーマイラブ Oh my, oh my, oh, my love ほんとのところはギャラクティック is truly galactic. 揺らめいて（いぇい！) It wavers, (Yeah!) 綺羅めいて（いぇい！） it sparkles too; (Yeah!) それでも心は　ひ・み・つ still, my heart is a s-e-c-r-e-t.

ユーフォーユーフォーユーフォーが Even if a UFO came to pick me up, 迎えにきても平気だよ that'd be A-OK! 「知りたいな」（いぇい！） I can't manage to ask, (Yeah!) 言えないな（いぇい！） "Tell me about yourself." (Yeah!) あなたの全ては　ひ・み・つ Everything about you is a s-e-c-r-e-t.

ピーポーピーポー　おかしなあなたと (Wee-woo, wee-woo) Funny little you, ピーポーピーポー　おかしな気持ち (Wee-woo, wee-woo) and my funny little feelings. ピーポーピーポー　不思議な言葉を (Wee-woo, wee-woo) Let's have a dialogue ピーポーピーポー　交わしましょ (Wee-woo, wee-woo) of strange words. ピピピ Beep-beep-beep.

昨日の放送の映画でも（キュン） In the movie that aired yesterday too, (Thump-thump!) あなたによく似た生命体（ピッ） there were lifeforms that looked a lot like you. (Beep!) その姿のイメージは（キュン） But thinking they were made in your image might've just been 勝手な想像だけれど my skewed bias for you.

信じてるよ I still believe 恋してるハートよりも強く I'm stronger than my love-ridden heart, あなたの事ばかりで but all I think about is you. やんなっちゃうな Aaah, this sucks!

オーマイオーマイオーマイラブ Oh my, oh my, oh, my love ほんとのところはロマンティック is truly romantic. 押したって　引いたって Pushing forward, pulling away… ダメダメ心は　ひ・み・つ No, I can't! My heart's a s-e-c-r-e-t.

オーマイオーマイオーマイラブ Oh my, oh my, oh, my love – ほんとは大好きさギャラクティック The one I truly love is galactic. うわついて（いぇい！） They're fickle (Yeah!) ときめいて（いぇい！） and fluttering. (Yeah!) 秘密はまだまだ　ひ・み・つ The secret's still a s-e-c-r-e-t.

ユーフォーユーフォーユーフォーで Please pick me up in the UFO! 迎えにきてよ今すぐ！ I can’t wait any longer! 勘違って（いぇい！） There was a misunderstanding, (Yeah!) 間違って（いぇい！） I made a mistake – (Yeah!) いても恋したの　ひ・み・つ but even so, it was a "s-e-c-r-e-t" I loved.

ピーポーピーポー　おかしなあなたと (Wee-woo, wee-woo) Funny little you, ピーポーピーポー　おかしな気持ち (Wee-woo, wee-woo) and my funny little feelings. ピーポーピーポー　不思議な言葉を (Wee-woo, wee-woo) Let's have a dialogue ピーポーピーポー　交わしましょ (Wee-woo, wee-woo) of strange words. ピピピ Beep-beep-beep.

[nikkidoujin]

JOKER x JOKER - ジョーカー×ジョーカー

producer: MoNo.

CeVIO: kafu

release: june 20, 2022

genre: EDM, dubstep

それぞれバラバラ配られる Every card’s dealt, scattered here and there. 邪魔邪魔それではくたびれる Annoyances, annoyances everywhere – it’s exhausting. 草w草w　燃えてる　また炎上 An inferno of LOL’s ignite yet another flamewar. やだやだクソだりぃ　つまらねぇな Ugh, no, THIS SUCKS – it’s so BORING.

NA NA NA NA NA 騙せ騙せ Trick fools left ‘n right, NA NA NA NA NA 赤く塗って and paint it all red! コレコレ　タレコミ蜜の味 Tipping off Dramatubers* – schadenfreude tastes so sweet! 毒毒　痛み　ただコピペ Venomous pain’s just a copy ‘n paste away!

愛して　愛して Love me, love me – お礼にとっておきの恐怖お届け as thanks, here’s that super special “fear” you wanted! 死ぬほどドキドキ Your heart’s beating so fast it might just burst – 刺激が足りないんでしょ？ but you don’t want the ride to end just yet, right?

僕にとって君はジョーカーで To me, you’re a “JOKER,” 言うこと全てジョークなのです ‘cuz everything you say is one. 今日も神っぽいフリをして I’m playing God again today, 誤魔化してる deceiving and cheating everyone. 蟲みたいにネガティブに湧いて Negativity hatches like crawling bugs. 踊る姿は滑稽です Dancing? Looks more like “flailing” to me! そろそろ次のゲームにしよう Come, onto the next game! KINGを倒すのは誰だ Who shall kill the KING?

チクチク言葉で傷付ける Those sharp words cut you down. ダメダメ　それでも殴られる “No, stop!” – but it won’t. まだまだ懲りない　偉い奴 You still don’t get it, goody-two-shoes? なかなか　しぶとい　下らねぇな You’re pretty stubborn – what a dumbass!

見下せ　見下せ Disrespect, despise them all; お礼にとっておきの恐怖お届け as thanks, here’s that super special “fear” you wanted! 死ぬほどドキドキ Your heart’s beating so fast it might just burst – 刺激が足りないんでしょ？ but you don’t want the ride to end just yet, right?

君にとって僕はジョーカーで To you, I’m a “JOKER”, 生きることがジョークなのです because “life’s one big joke”, right? 切りたいのに被害者面して Playing the victim, even though you want to cut, 誤魔化してる deceiving and cheating everyone!

ゴミみたいな戯言を吐いて Hearing you spew that trashy bullshit 聞いてるこっちはシュールです is quite surreal to listen to. そろそろ次のゲームにしよう Come, onto the next game! KINGを倒すのは誰だ Who shall kill the KING? KINGを倒すのは誰だ Who shall kill the KING? KINGを倒すのは僕だ I shall kill the KING! Just kidding

*In the original Japanese, the lyrics explicitly say "tipping off KoreKore". Korekore is an infamous JP Youtuber. Referred to as a "dramatuber", he makes videos on trending rumors and gossip that may not always be true.

[nikkidoujin]

Haribote - ハリボテ - Papier mâché

producer: namigroove

CeVIO: kafu

release: february 20, 2022

genre: pop, drum and bass

今日も 何一つ 変わらぬ朝が来た A morning where not a single thing changed came again. 嘘の鎧を 纏って 社会に飛び混んだ Clad in armor made up of lies, I leapt into society, blending in.

息をするように 取り繕っている I’m keeping up appearances so I can breathe 生きてくために 自分の声を捨てたハリボテ In order to survive, I threw away my voice – I’m made of superficial papier mâché.

ネットで拾った かりそめの言葉を I picked up frivolous words from the Internet 手札に仕込んで くだらない 日々をやり過ごす I build a full deck of these terms and let the worthless days go by…

夢と現に挟まれた I’m held between dreams and reality 夜が僕を嗤う The night cackles at me

膨らんだ Inside the box of pride プライドの箱の中で that swells up, 君は何を望む what do you wish for?

ハリボテ ハリボテ なにもない Papier mâché, papier mâché, nothing else. ハリボテ ハリボテ なにもない Papier mâché, papier mâché, nothing else. ハリボテ ハリボテ なにもない Papier mâché, papier mâché, nothing else. ハリボテ だけ Nothing but papier mâché.

理想の色で 染められた 世界は The world was dyed in the colors of our dreams 情報の鎖で 僕らの意志を 縛り上げた The chains of “information” bound our determination

息を殺して 周りに合わせてる I hold my breath and conform to my surroundings 空気を着飾って 他人の声を真似たハリボテ I mimicked everyone else’s voices and adopted their atmosphere – I’m made of superficial papier mâché.

夢と現に挟まれた I’m held between dreams and reality 夜が僕を嗤う The night cackles at me

錆び付いた The memories that were left behind from that day あの日の記憶を残して all rusted away. 僕は何を想う Just what am I thinking about?

夢と現に挟まれた I’m held between dreams and reality 夜が僕を嗤う The night cackles at me

膨らんだ Inside the box of pride プライドの箱の中で that swells up, 君は何を願う what do you hope for?

今日も 何一つ 変わらぬ朝が来た A morning where not a single thing changed came again. 生きてくために 自分の声を捨てた In order to survive, I threw away my voice.

Lala…

[nikkidoujin]

Caramel Stars - カラメルスターズ

producer: 味素 - Aginomoto

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: september 2, 2018

genre: chill-out, electronica

ポツリと滴る水の音 The lonely sound of rain, drip-dropping, ふわりと触れ合う指先 and our fingertips, softly touching – その夜交わした語らい the words we exchanged that night 今ではぼやけた彼方に lie blurred in the distance.

モノクロの底へ Within the depths of the monochrome, 風に乗って I ride the wind 身を任せて and entrust my body to it; 消えて行くよ I’m fading away…

君の面影を思う日々 I want to convey the warmth I feel 伝わるその温もり on the days that I faintly remember you. カラメルのほろ苦さ The bittersweet taste of caramel 胸に広がる思い fills me with memories. 今一度思い出す I remember, once more, あの日眺めた光を the light we gazed at that day; 二人の記憶に it lies within our memories 遥かなる夜空の向こうへ that are on the other side of the faraway night sky…

星の下で Underneath the stars, 瞳の奥 within my soul, 一人ぼっち I am alone.

日差しに揺らめく髪の毛 Hair, dancing in the sunlight, 静かに流れる川音 sounds of a gentle flowing river, too – 水面が映した街並み the water’s reflection showed a town 今では煤けた写真の that’s now just an old, worn photograph.

モノクロの景色 All I see is monochrome. 波に乗って I ride the waves 遠い場所へ to a faraway place. 消えて行くよ I’m fading away…

今も目の裏に浮かぶ君 Even now, you lie behind my closed eyes. 溢れるその涙は The warmth on my shoulder 肩元の暖かさ are your overflowing tears, 胸に染み込む痛み that spill into my heart 振り返る刹那に the moment I look back. あの日重ねた手のひら I still have not let go 今でも離さず of the palms I held that day, 光の煌めくところへ in a place where light shines and sparkles.

星の下で Underneath the stars, 瞳の奥 within my soul, 一人ぼっち I am alone.

[nikkidoujin]

Watashi no Kisetsu - わたしのきせつ - My Season

producer: Chida Sora - 知田そら

vocaloid: yuki kaai

release: december 3, 2021

genre: r&b

今年も冬が来て Winter comes around again 私は町へ降る I fall into town 白く染まる町並みの中に where the streets are dyed white. 喜ばれるのかな Will you be pleased with me, 嫌われちゃうのかな Or am I gonna be hated? ふわりふわり　静かに落ちてく Softly, I fall into silence.

冷たいなんて Hey, don't say ねぇ　言わないで that you're so cold 暖かいと溶けちゃうだけ It's warm. I'm gonna melt — that's all. ねぇ　そうやって Hey, 手伸ばさないで don't reach out to me like that 触れられたら溶けちゃうだけ If we touch, I'll melt — that's all.

溶けちゃうだけ I'll melt — that's all. 溶けちゃうだけ I'll melt — that's all.

春に咲く花とか I really want to see ほんとは見てみたいんだ stuff like the flowers blooming in spring 少し浮かれた空気の中に I'd be a little merry in that atmosphere. でも私がいたら But if I were there 花は咲かないまま the flowers wouldn't bloom. なら春なんて来なくていいのに In that case, it'd be okay if spring doesn't come.

冷たいなんて Hey, don't say ねぇ　言わないで that you're so cold 暖かいと溶けちゃうだけ It's warm. I'm gonna melt — that's all. ねぇ　そうやって Hey, 手伸ばさないで don't reach out to me like that 触れられたら溶けちゃうだけ If we touch, I'll melt — that's all.

溶けちゃうだけ I'll melt — that's all. 溶けちゃうだけ I'll melt — that's all.

[nikkidoujin]

Sono Shoujo wa Arisu ni Naritakatta - その少女はアリスになりたかった - The girl wanted to be Alice.

producer:  光彩よぞら - Yozora Hikariiro

UTAU: Gekiyaku

release: january 14, 2019

genre: pop

「ねえママ　あたしこの部屋 Saying stuff like, 抜け出してみたいな」だとか "Hey, Mama, I want to leave this room" -- その答えなんか　わかりきってる　わかりきってる The answer to that is obvious. ああママ　ごめんなさい Ah, Mama, I'm sorry. また泣きそうな顔　苦しそう You look like you’re about to cry. You look so pained. 笑ってるとこ　見たことないな　あたしのせいか I've never seen you smile. Is that my fault, perhaps?

退屈だ　真っ白の部屋 Total boredom and a pure white room. たまに大人の人が来るだけ Sometimes an adult comes in. That's it. 起きて寝て起きて　本を開いて　本を開いて I wake up, sleep, then wake up again. I open the book, I open the book…

物語の中に出てくる A girl appears in the story. 少女を見てはうらやましがる I look at her and start to feel jealous. 穴を落ちてって　不思議の国へ　なんて妄想 Falling down the hole to Wonderland -- what a fantasy!

白ウサギを追いかけて Chasing after a white bunny, 穴に落ちる　そんなパラノイア paranoid of falling down the rabbit hole… 非日常の混沌の中　冒険したいな　な　な I want to adventure in the chaos of the extraordinary.

だってだってこんなつまらない Because, y'know, with all this boring free time and monotony, 暇で退屈で死にたくなるの　ああ I'm starting to just wanna die. 同じ日を日を日を日を　ただ繰り返して These identical days simply repeat over and over again. 夢はまだ本の中 The dreams are all still inside the book. チェシャ猫も帽子屋も　白ウサギすら出てこないんだもの The Cheshire Cat, the Mad Hatter too -- not even the White Rabbit can come out.

ママはまた手にナイフをあてて Mama puts a knife in her hand again, 自分を殺そうとするけれど even though I'm the one trying to kill myself…

ねえママ　どこに行ったの？ Hey, Mama, where did you go? 昨日からここに来てないな You haven't come since yesterday. 黒いのがいっぱい　カラスみたいだ　カラスみたいだ There's so much black, like a murder of crows, like a murder of crows…

ああママ　あたしより先に Ah, Mama, 不思議の国にいっちゃったの？ you went to Wonderland before me? うらやましいな　白い部屋で　また本を読む I'm jealous. In this white room, I read the book once again.

昔ね　ママが言ったの A long time ago, Mama told me this; 「うちに父の日はないよ」ってさ "In this house, we don't have a 'Father's Day.'" でもこれからは　来るみたいだ　来るみたいだ But from now on, we just might.

知らない　大人が2人 Two grown-ups I don't know tell me this; 「あなたのパパとママだよ」ってさ "We're your Mama and Papa." 違うのになって　一人ぼそり　独りぽつり "It's all wrong now." I murmur once. I stand alone.

終わりのないお茶会で I would do nothing but talk and laugh ひたすら話して笑ったりね At the endless tea party 非日常の混沌が日常になったらな　な　な　な If the chaos of the extraordinary became my ordinary.

だってだってこんなつまらない Because, y'know, with all this boring free time and monotony, 暇で退屈で死にたくなるの　ああ I'm starting to just wanna die. ねえ　知らない人達笑わないの Hey, you outsiders, don't laugh 夢はまだ本の中 The dreams are all still inside the book そんな時白ウサギが私のいるここへやってきたの At that moment, the White Rabbit came for me, right where I was.

おいでと言う白ウサギの後を追って I follow the rabbit who tells me to come into the hole 穴の中　穴の中　長い長い中を抜けたら In the hole, in the hole, if I can come out of the long hole…

ネズミさん達　私の話聞いて！ O Mouselings, listen to me! 「怖いから　怖いから　さようなら　さようなら！」 "It's scary, very scary, so goodbye, goodbye!" 森の中で会った大きなイモムシが I met a big caterpillar in the forest ずっと上からな態度で話しかけてくるの who always talks down to me.

終わりのないお茶会 An endless tea party 答えのないなぞなぞを延々と　好き勝手延々と Riddles without limit, as many as you like, for eternity… ハートの女王達が「みんな死んでしまえ！」 The Queen of Hearts says, "Death to all!” 混沌　大混乱　猫のない笑いが浮かんだ Pandemonium. Great chaos. A grin without a cat floats in the air.

理不尽な裁判で非難したとたん The second I accused the Queen of an unfair trial, ばらばらと　ばらばらと　ばらばらと　ばらばらと Everything crumbled, crumbled, crumbled away…

「こんな世界望んでないよ」 "I didn't wish for a world like this."

何で？何で？こんな狂ってる Huh? What happened? Y'know, actually, 世界なんかで生きてたくないよ　ああ I don't want to live in this crazy world at all. ねえ　やだやだやだ　こんなのってないよ Wait, no, no, no! This can't be happening! 夢はまだ本の中 The dreams are all still inside the book. チェシャ猫も帽子屋も　白ウサギも出てきてくれたのに Even though the Cheshire Cat, the Mad Hatter, and the White Rabbit came just for me…

またさよなら It's another farewell.

ママのいった不思議の国に I will now go to the same "Wonderland" 私も今から行くからね。 where Mama went.

[nikkidoujin]

Merry-Go-Round - メリーゴーランド

producer:  ねこまんま - necomanma

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: february 27, 2022

genre: waltz, classical

「メカケバラで生まれた」 "You are a child of illegitimacy." いつしかそこに行きたいな Illi-git-masy? I'd love to visit such a land! パパママ 探して I searched for Papa and Mama 歩き続けてたの and continued to walk…

哀しみはどこへ Oh, please tell me ねえ どこへ where I can leave behind 置いてけばいいの all this sadness. 優しさはどこで Oh, please tell me ねえ どこで where I could receive 分けてもらえるの some kindness.

誰か教えて Someone, please tell me!

あああ 木馬と一緒に Aaah – I'm going on a journey ああああ 旅に出るの Aaah – together with my rocking horse! まだ足りない足りない 夢も愛も足りない It's not enough, still not enough – all the dreams, all the love, aren't enough. ほら 揺れる揺れる揺れるメリーゴーランド Come! Watch the merry-go-round rock 'round and 'round…

「メカケバラで生まれた」 "You are a child of illegitimacy." いつしかその意味を知った Soon enough, I had learned the meaning of those words.

#わがまま #身勝手 #selfish #inconsiderate

タグ付けられた僕 I was tagged with such things.

憎しみはどこへ Oh, please tell me ねえ どこへ where I can leave behind 置いてけばいいの all this hate. 幸せはどこで Oh, please tell me ねえ どこで where I could receive 分けてもらえるの some happiness.

誰か教えて Someone, please tell me!

あああ 手網を掴んで Aaah – I'm going on a journey ああああ 旅に出るの Aaah – holding onto the net. まだ足りない足りない 心づもり足りない It's not good enough, still not good enough – all my fantasies aren't good enough. ほら ゆらりゆらり揺らぐメリーゴーランド Come! Watch the merry-go-round run and rattle 'round and 'round…

おやすみ は誰に Oh, please tell me ねえ 誰に who can I 囁けばいいの whisper "goodnight" to? さよなら は誰と Oh, please tell me ねえ 誰と who do I have to leave 別れを告げるの and say "goodbye" to?

誰か教えて Someone, please tell me!

あああ 木馬と一緒に Aaah – I'm dreaming ああああ 夢をみるの Aaah – together with my rocking horse! もう 足りたい足りたい 欲しがらなくなりたい I want to be satisfied! I want to be happy! I want to not want! ほら 揺れて揺れて止まれメリーゴーランド Look! It rocks, it runs! Stop, merry-go-round…!

あああああ Aaah –

高い高い場所から If one were to look down from up high, 見下ろせば落ちた流れ星 they would see a falling star. 誰かを 愛して May you love someone 愛されますように and be loved by them. 動かないメリーゴーランド The merry-go-round sits motionless.

[nikkidoujin]

Hakumei Mirai - ハクメイミライ - Twilight Future

producer:  DAICHI-P

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: december 4, 2021

genre: pop rock

少し開いている窓の向こう側を眺めてる I look through the window that’s barely open; 見えるはずもないのに未来を覗いてみたくて even though I know I can't see the future, I want a sneak peek of it.

教室に響いていた誰かが放った言葉 Those words that someone shot out resonated throughout the classroom 心の片隅に浮かんだままで and still float within the nook of my heart.

あの時だって何かを信じてた Back then, I believed in something. 勘違いじゃなくて　確かにそこにあった I'm not mistaken – I know that that 'something' was there…

僕らの瞬間が輝いていたことを忘れないでね Our moments together were beautiful – please don't forget that. 終わらない日々の影に揺れていた I was gently swaying within the shadows of those never-ending days. どうしてもその心が辛さに壊れそうな時には When that heart of yours feels like it's about to shatter from all the pain, 思い出してね　君らしさを please remember what makes you, 'you'.

無機質だった痛みに名前をつけてみるけど I tried to put a name to that cold, mechanical pain from the past, 上手く分解する術はどこもなかった but there was no way I could understand it properly in the first place.

誰もいない席に着く I take an empty seat. 見慣れた場所が違って見えた　 Once familiar places now looked foreign. 少し寂しくなるよ I start to feel a little lonely…

通り雨　細い抜け道を駆け抜けた時でさえ When I ran down that narrow alleyway during a sudden downpour… あんなにも胸が熱くなったのはどうしてだろう why did my chest begin to flutter so much at a time like that?

僕らの永遠を育てたのは僅かな光だった Our 'eternity' was nurtured by just a bit of light. あの温もりを今でも感じてる I can feel that warmth, even now. 誰だってその心に弱さを持ち合わせているから Everyone is carrying weakness in their hearts, 恐れないでね　君らしさを so don't be afraid to just be yourself.

履き違えた自由もあった　それは僕を虚しくさせた I had a mistaken view of 'freedom'; it made me empty and vacant. 少しずつ変わり始めた時　白い羽のような時間に包まれていた Everything began to change, little by little; I was enveloped within a time that felt like soft, white feathers…

いつだってここにいるよ　遠い場所に居てもね I'm always right here, even if I'm actually far away. 思い出は深いところに眠ってる The memories all sleep deep within me. どうしてもその心が辛さに壊れそうな時には When that heart of yours feels like it's about to shatter from all the pain, 思い出してね　君らしさを please remember what makes you, 'you'. その優しさを Please remember your kindness…

[nikkidoujin]

Inori ni Hodasarete - 祈りに絆されて - Bound by Prayer

producer:  qumogi

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: april 21, 2022

genre: drum & bass

体温の上昇で夜の訪れを知る I know night draws near when my body begins to warm. 生命は従順だ I live an obedient life. お別れを告げて眠ろう Let's say our goodbyes and sleep. 感動の再現で春の綻びを見る I watch Spring begin to bloom by the revival of emotions. 想像は鮮明だ My imagination is vivid; その輝きを見せてよ please, show me that brilliance.

悲しみを超えて灯りを見つける日まで Until the day I overcome this sorrow and find the light, 歩みを止めない I won’t stop moving forward. 孤独と手を繋ぎながら All the while, I hold hands with my solitude. 逸る気持ちを抑えられずに居るから And because I can't quell these impatient feelings, あぁ、眠れない ah… I can't sleep.

愛したい痛み、此処には無いよ Lovable pain doesn't exist here, それでも求めているの？ yet you're still wishing for it? 命すらも花に変えたら Even if you were to sacrifice your life to change into a flower, 次は誰が救える？ who could be saved next? 幸せとは程遠いから I'm far away from happiness 祈りに絆されても even though I'm bound by prayer. 信じる事は辞めたくない I don't want to stop believing. 辞められない No, I can't stop believing.

暗雲の低迷で嘘の見せ合いを乞う While dark clouds loom overhead, we beg each other to show off our lies. 本能は勇敢だ Bravery is an instinct. 優しさを焚べて帰ろう Let’s burn our kindness and return home. 幸福の代償で海の悲しみを飲む At the cost of having found true happiness, I drink the sorrow of the sea. 安寧は永遠だ Peace is eternal. あの光に名を付けよう Let us give a name to that light.

砦は朽ち果て The fortress rots and crumbles 孤独を守れないから as I can't protect my solitude. 何処かへ行きたい I wish to go somewhere - anywhere. 憂いすらも背負いながら While burdened with such sorrow, 焦る気持ちが募るばかりで怖いな I'm scared of my panic growing only more violent. あぁ、眠りたい Ah… I want to sleep.

(信じる事で救われたい) (I wish to be saved through my faith.) 私には祈る事しか出来ない (I don't know how to do anything except pray.)

愛したい痛み、此処には無いよ Lovable pain doesn't exist here, それでも求めているの？ yet you're still wishing for it? 命すらも花に変えたら Even if you were to sacrifice your life to change into a flower, 次は誰が救える？ who could be saved next? 幸せとは程遠いから I'm far away from happiness 祈りに絆されても even though I'm bound by prayer. 信じる事は辞めたくない I don't want to stop believing. 辞められない No, I can't stop believing.

[nikkidoujin]

Pajamy - パジャミィ

producer:  いよわ - iyowa

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: march 26, 2022

genre: pop

(lyrics corrected by violet of magenetra; thank you!)

遠い　夢の部屋　はじめましてじゃないって Far, far away, lies the room of dreams – but you’ve known it’s no fairy tale. 暗い　夜がこわくて　泣いていたのね Dark, so dark – the night was scary… that’s why you were crying, right? ふたり クラスメイトとは　少し違う友達が Us two are friends, a little different from textbook “classmates.” ささやき声で連れていくわ　秘密基地に Soft whispers lead us into the secret base…

きみの傷をいやすように　痛みから気をそらすように I scattered toys in the air all around, and our long sleeves were just a little bit ticklish とっ散らかしたおもちゃと長い袖が　ちょっとくすぐったくて so that your wounds could heal, so that your pain could be ignored. 頬をつねって「また会おうぜ」　裸足で蹴り飛ばして Pinching each others’ cheek, we promise, “Until next time!”, and, barefoot, we kick it away – 宙に向けて放った yes, we send it flying towards the sky! 大事なだれかの心の時間かせぎ In the end, it’s just buying time for the sake of someone dear. お願い目覚めを忘れたままで、パジャミィ Just please, keep sleeping as you are, Pajamy…

遠い夢の部屋　はじめましてじゃないって Far, far away, lies the room of dreams – but you’ve known it’s no fairy tale. 苦い　朝がこわくて　泣いていたのね Bitter, so bitter – the morning was scary… that’s why you were crying, right? 「皆　嘘をついてる」と涙ぐむ　瞳が “Everyone’s lying,” you said, tears filling your eyes. ささやき声で　打ち明けた秘密を　うつした In soft whispers, the secret I’d divulged to you was revealed…

大人になっていくきみに　忘れ物を届けるように In order to deliver ‘what was forgotten’ to you, who grows older each day – さあ遊ぼうぜ今　ぼくらは心をちょっとすりむいただけ oh, come on, let’s play! – Our hearts were bruised only a little, after all. 朝焼けが背中を刺して　閉じたドアの向こうで The morning sun pierced my back, and from behind the closed door, 怖い声が言った a frightening voice spoke: 「本当の気持ちは誰にも言えないのに」 “Even though my true feelings cannot be expressed,” 「最後は地獄へ落ちるだけなのに」 “Even though I’ll only fall to hell in the end.”

映画も　陽だまりも　卒業式も Movies, sunshine, graduation too – あふれる音楽が流れ終わったなら when the grand, overflowing music comes to an end, 寂しいけれど　お片付けをしなくちゃ it’s lonely – but I have to tidy up. ねぇ　こうして　もらいすぎたものを返せたら Hey, if I were able to return the many, many things I received but didn’t deserve, そのために生まれてきた　と思える I would think that was my reason for being born. それならば誰があなたを起こすの、パジャミィ But if that were the case, then who would be the one to wake you up, Pajamy?…

晴れた　お別れの日に　こんな曲を流すように – It was so on the sunny day we parted, you could play a song like this. とっ散らかしたおもちゃと長い袖が　やっぱくすぐったくて I scattered toys in the air all around, and, yes, our long sleeves really were ticklish.

涙ぬぐって笑おうぜ　裸足で蹴り飛ばして　宙に向けて放った Come on, let’s wipe the tears away and laugh! Barefoot, we kick it away – yes, we sent it flying towards the sky!

大事なわたしのこころの時間かせぎ You were always buying time for my sake – thank you so much. お願いあなたを忘れぬままで、パジャミィ I pray I never forget you, Pajamy.

[nikkidoujin]

Kurai Mori no Circus - 暗い森のサーカス - The Dark Woods Circus

producer:  マチゲリータP - MachigeritaP

vocaloids: miku hatsune, rin & len kagamine, KAITO

release: february 24, 2008

genre: waltz, classical

森のね、奥の奥にあるんだ。そのサーカス You know, deep within the forest lies the circus 座長は大きな目に高い背、10メートル whose bug-eyed Chairman stands 10-meters tall.

キャストはみんな愉快、容姿かたちは変だけれど The cast is merry, although their appearances are strange. とってもたのしいんだ！暗い森のサーカス！ The Dark Woods Circus is very, very fun!

二つあたまミセモノ、異形の歌姫に There’s a two-headed freak, a grotesque Diva, 冷たいもの食べるの、青いけものが and a beast who only eats things served cold.

望まれて生まれてきたわけじゃない　この身体 We never wished for bodies like this. なんでそんな目で見ているの　顔が腐ってく Why are you looking at us like that, at our faces that are rotting away…?

「苦しいよ苦しくて仕方がない」と “It hurts, it hurts so much, but no one can save us.” 彼女は言ったんだ　それでもこのサーカスは続くんだ That is what the girl said – yet the circus goes on. 楽しいよ楽しいよ　このサーカスは楽しい It’s fun, it’s fun! This circus is so fun! 腐った実　熔ける目に　爛ただれた肌が映るの Rotten fruit and festering skin are all my melting eyes see. 死にたいよ死にたいよ　ここから出してください “I want to die. I want to die. Please let me out of here.” 「それは無理なこと」と誰かが言っていた気がする。 At that moment, I swore I heard a voice say, “that’s asking the impossible”…

[nikkidoujin]

Su-Su-Su-Su, Suki, Daaisuki - すすすす、すき、だあいすき - I L-L-L-Like You, I Love You

producer:  ジェバンニP - JevanniP

vocaloid: rin kagamine

release: march 8, 2008

genre: electropop

ねねねねえ、ね、ちょっといい？ Um, ah – hey! Could we talk for a bit? 忙しいなら、ごめん I’m sorry if you’re busy. 少しだけ、ね 少しでいい I’ll make it quick – that’s all right, right? お喋りに付き合って Let’s chat.

どうしようか？ 何しようか What can we do? What’s there to do? えっと……ゲームでもする？ Um… how about a game? しりとりしよ Let’s play Shiritori. しりと「り」……「り」ン。 I’ll start – “ri” for… Rin.* ごめんね、続かないね…… …Sorry. I’m pretty terrible at this, aren’t I…

おなか空かない？ 何か食べたい？ Are you hungry? What would you like to eat? ええと、あたし……水でいいや Ah, um… don’t mind me, I’m fine with just water.

君モニタから 目を離した You look away from the monitor for a bit, 隙に 必死に シミュレート and I quickly act out my daydreams.

それなのにバカ 見つめられたら I know it’s dumb, but when you look my way, 喉が乾いて 声でない my throat goes dry, and I can’t say a thing! ぷはぁ……どうしよう Sigh… what to do… あのね、実はね…… Um, h-hey… the truth is… ダメだ、やっぱり怖いの No, I’m too scared to say it…

気持ち 伝えた いよ あなたに I want to confess my feelings to you, この 気持ち どうし て 苦しいの but why are they hurting me so much?

ねねねねえ、ね、ちょっといい？ Um, ah – hey! Could we talk for a bit? 忙しいなら、ごめん I’m sorry if you’re busy. 少しだけ、ね 少しでいい I’ll make it quick – that’s all right, right? お喋りに付き合って Let’s chat.

どうしようか？ 何しようか What can we do? What’s there to do? えっと……それじゃジャンケンしよ Um… how about rock-paper-scissors? じゃんけんポン あいこでしょ Ro-sham-bo, shoot! ごめんね、つまらないね …Sorry. This is boring, isn’t it…

おなか空かない？ 何か食べたい？ Are you hungry? What would you like to eat? ええと、あたし……水でいいや Ah, um… don’t mind me, I’m fine with just water.

あのね、ところで、唐突だけど Hey, I know this is, um, a bit sudden, おかしいって思ったらごめん and I’m really sorry if I weird you out, びっくりする　かもしれないの but I want you to hear this, でもね、聞いて欲しい、ええと…… even though it may… er… startle you.

ぷはぁ……どうしよう Sigh… what to do… あのね、実はね…… Um, h-hey… the truth is… ダメだ、やっぱり怖いの No, I’m too scared to say it…

気持ち 伝えた いよ あなたに I want to confess my feelings to you, この 気持ち どうし て 苦しいの but why are they hurting me so much?

あのね、実は、 Um, hey, the truth is – あたあたし、あた、あたし、あの、あの I – that is to say, me – ah, um, er… あのね、あなたが、ああ、 well, you see, you’re – aaah…

あたし、ごめん、待って…あたあたし I – sorry, hold on… me, myself, I – あた、あたし、あの、あのね、 I-I, um, well, ah – あなたが、す…… I really like…

あのね、実は％＊＃、あたし、あた You see, the truth is, I asdfhkljd – あたし、あの、あの、あのね、 I’m, um, um, um, well… あなたが、ああ…… You’re… aaaugh… あたし、ごめん、待って、あのあのね I – sorry, wait, you see…

ええと、あたし…… Um, I… あなたのことが……！ The thing is, you’re…!

あのね あたし あなた のこと You see, the thing about you is that… あのね あたし あなた のこと The thing about you is that… あたしは あなたが…… I, well… you’re…

す、す、すす、すす、す…す I… L-L-L-L-L-L-L… L– すすすす、す、す、す、す、 L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L– すう、はあ…ごめん、忘れて Breathe in, breathe out… sorry, forget it.

……待って！ …Wait!

す、す、すす、すすすす I… L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L すすすす、す…す…す…す L-L-L-L-L… L… L… L… す、す、すす、すす、す…す L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L–!

すき、だあいすき！！！！ I like you! I love you!

*Shiritori is a word game played in Japan. You take the last character of a word and think of a new word starting with that character. (EX: appl'e', 'e'verything, 'g'oo, etc.) If you use a word that ends in "ん" (the letter N), you lose. So, the joke is that Rin began the game and took the 'ri' of shirito'ri', but she was so nervous that she panicked and immediately said her own name, which ends the game.

[nikkidoujin]

Yabai Okusuri - ヤバいお薬 - Dangerous Medicine

producer:  びゅるる - Byururu

vocaloid: miku hatsune

release: april 9, 2022

genre: pop

サヨナラだね　またいつかね Ah, this is farewell. Until next time, I guess. 二度と構わないでね Don’t bother me again, all right? 歪な距離　仲直りは　いつもベッドの上で These boundaries of ours are warped. We only ever make up when we’re in bed.

「もーいーよ」 “No more” 「まーだはーやい」 “This is all happening too fast” 不遜なアイラビュー Arrogant words of love.

現実かも　幻覚かも　区別がつかなくて Reality? A hallucination? I can’t tell the difference.

狂信じゃ Fanaticism 満たされない doesn’t satisfy me. こころがあります That’s the kind of person I am.

シルエットの正体は曖昧なまんま The silhouette’s true form is ambiguous. ヴィーガンの少女は肉を食う The vegan girl eats meat. ダイエットの最中に大量のまんま In the midst of her diet, she devours heaps of food. 吐いて嘆いて　お薬飲も She vomits, cries, and takes her medicine.

幾数年の後悔も簡単に解消 Years of regret, cleared so easily. いーじゃん　もういーじゃん It’s okay, it’s fine, 楽になれば as long as it makes me feel better. 間違った用量では危険な浄罪 An overdose leads me to a dangerous purgatory, 性交の成功　溺れるまま and I’m left drowning in an ocean of sex.

地雷原で　宝探し　手足はいらないね In an abyss of trendy, needy girls, striking gold requires no effort. 秘密なんて一つもない　早くベッドの底へ There’s nothing left to hide… just hurry to the bed.

「もーいーよ」 “No more” 「まーだはーやい」 “This is all happening too fast” 不遜なアイラビュー Arrogant “I love you”’s

夢から覚めて咽せるわ　 I wake from my dream and am choked with sorrow. 一錠じゃ足りない A single pill isn’t enough.

シルエットの正体は曖昧なまんま The silhouette’s true form is ambiguous. ヴィーガンの少女は肉を食う The vegan girl eats meat. ダイエットの最中に大量のまんま In the midst of her diet, she devours heaps of food. 吐いて嘆いて　お薬飲も She vomits, cries, and takes her medicine.

幾数年の後悔も簡単に解消 Years of regret, cleared so easily. いーじゃん　もういーじゃん It’s okay, it’s fine, 楽になれば as long as it makes me feel better. 間違った用量では危険な浄罪 An overdose leads me to a dangerous purgatory, 性交の成功　溺れるまま and I’m left drowning in an ocean of sex.

[nikkidoujin]

Kyoufuu Garden - 恐怖ガーデン - "Garden of Fear" (aka "Fear Garden")

producer:  ちゃぁ - Chaa

vocaloid: rin kagamine

release: july 6, 2008

genre: drill and bass, darkcore

ひとつ、ふたつ、みっつ、よっつ、いつつ One, two, three, four, five むっつ、ななつ、とお！ Six, seven – ten!

右から生えてる腕を引っこ抜いて I uproot the right arm that’s growing, 植木鉢に突き刺してみるね and decide to stab it into a planter! 人差し指と中指を絡め I entwine the middle and index fingers, 素敵素敵な花の完成 and that’s how you create a spectacular flower!

お庭には綺麗なオテテが沢山咲いてて Lots of lovely little handsies blooming beautifully in the garden… 一つも同じものは無いでしょ They’re all so unique, aren’t they?

恐怖ガーデン My Garden of Fear… だって逃げてかないで＞＜ Pleeease, don’t run away!!! > <

誰にもいえない秘密の花園 This is my secret garden I’ll never speak of. 打ち明けられない秘密の花園 This is my secret garden I’ll never confess to.

あ゛ぁぁぁぁぁぁ・・・・ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

とても綺麗なのよ指が５本、たまには４本 Your five fingers, so pretty… well, sometimes it's four. お目目をほじくって見てごらん Pry open those cute eyes and take a good look!

嘘よ嘘全部嘘なの Lies, lies – it’s all one big lie –

たぶんね・・・フフフ Well, maaaybe… heeheehee!

[nikkidoujin]

Libra - リブラ

producer: mira's music

CeVIO: kafu

release: april 23, 2022

genre: electropop

私は何を見てるの？ Oh, what am I looking at? 答えばかりの 間違い探し This spot-the-difference is full of right answers. 知ってしまうほど 変わってく The more I understand, the more everything changes. 塗り替えられた 真実の✕ The 'X' on 'TRUTH' was painted over again. 自由をいつも夢見て I've always dreamt of 'freedom' -- 憧れていた 白鳥の羽 yes, I was longing for the wings of a swan. 相変わらず 飽きもせず Eternally, tirelessly, ソラを見つめてる I gaze at the sky.

いつしか、 Before I knew it, 同じものしか食べなくなって I was eating the same thing everyday, 常識も知らず化石になって becoming a fossil that knew nothing about the world. 嘘に飲み込まれ 図らずも I was unintentionally swallowed by lies, 当事者から逃げていた and I was running away from all persons concerned.

愛を喰らって 嘘飲み干して Eating up love, drinking down lies つきはどこかで 満ちてく Somewhere out there, the moon is waxing. 歓迎されるアンフェアな世界 A 'welcome' from the unfair world. 何を見ているんだろう？ Just what are you looking at right now, I wonder?

リブラ リブラ 天使なの？ Libra, Libra, are you an angel? リブラ リブラ 教えてよ Libra, Libra, please tell me. 懐疑心で空っぽになる前 Before doubt drains you empty, 触って選んで I want you to touch, pick, 食べて欲しいの and eat it.

大人になると どうして Why is it that when one grows up 下心が邪魔をするの？ ulterior motives make a mess of everything? ちょっとだけなの わかってるの？ It's only for a little bit – you know that, right? – 甘い香りに惑わされて that the sweet scent will leave you entranced…

すでに 気づいてた I had already realized it; 映し出すじぶん 太陽の下 That I, reflected beneath the sun, 消し去れない影 Cast a shadow that can’t be erased, 視界覆い尽くす And that blocks out my vision.

いつしか、 Before I knew it, 夜が昼に重なりあって night and day melted into one another, 蝶が飛ばずに蛹になって and the butterflies didn't take wing but became pupas instead. 嘘に飲み込まれ 図らずも I was unintentionally swallowed by lies, 真実から逃げていた and I was running away from the truth.

リブラ リブラ 動いているの？ Libra, Libra, are you stirring? リブラ リブラ 壊れているの？ Libra, Libra, are you breaking? 汚れた手で動かしても良いの？ Is it alright to help you up with these impure hands? 愛する気持ち信じても良いの？ Is it alright to believe in these feelings of love? つかみとる 果実 現実 I seize the fruit of Reality 天秤傾けるわたし and tip the scales.

愛を喰らって 嘘飲み干して Eating up love, drinking down lies, 流されるままに生きてく living life as it comes. 眩しげな目で 天を仰ぐ I look towards the heavens in awe. ソラを見ているんだろう？ You're gazing at the sky, aren't you? リブラ リブラ 天使なの？ Libra, Libra, are you an angel? リブラ リブラ 教えてよ Libra, Libra, please tell me. 懐疑心で空っぽになる前 Before doubt drains you empty, 触って愛を I want you to eat 食べてほしい The love that you touch.

愛で満たして 嘘で満たして Filled with love,, filled with lies -- 欲望のまま 生きてく such a life satisfies my desires. 夢で味わう蜜の味は Oh, just what do you know about the taste of sweet nectar 何を知ってるんだろ？ that can only be experienced in dreams? リブラ リブラ 女神なの？ Libra, Libra, are you a Goddess? リブラ リブラ 教えてよ Libra, Libra, please tell me. 美味しそうな果実実ったら When a delicious-looking fruit ripens, 触って選んで食べて欲しいの I want you to touch it, pick it, and eat it.