I live a strange up and down life of health and energy followed often by none of the above... autoimmune disease, other health complications and frequent flares of chronic fatigue and hidden illness means a strange half life...but if you know where to look it's easy to see...I took the photo on the right yesterday...I'm not looking for attention or sympathy but simply to explain... After a few fabulous days galavanting with a dear and important to me friend, what other people (myself included) would consider a relaxing restful and fun experience which should recharge my batteries, leaves me grateful yet utterly exhausted and unable to fully function..I give hints of this often I am told, but feel as I am so full of life and energy when I'm out and about and well, it's simply not understood, often I'm told I can be aloof and inattentive to the needs of friends, not good at keeping in touch etc.. but let's be clear it's not me, its not you, it's exhaustion. I try to live and open hearted life, I love my close friends but don't spend enough time with them. I love my family but they don't often get the best of me. I love my art but am sometimes too overwhelmed to participate...it's a delicate balancing act that I often fail at quite spectacularly..I want to be open about my life, I feel fraudulent at times pretending I'm great when I'm often far from it..I am getting better at saying I need help but I hate to be a whinger...reach out to your friends with hidden illness today...be understanding that not all illness is visable..not all smiles are genuine for one reason or another and be greatfull for your good days...and the good people in them, they are what keeps you going. Be kind to one another. Peace out. Much love. Niamh x (at County Monaghan)
