✨Niko✨

Don’t you ever wish you could fly?

[niko-li]

Meowdy my names Niko! I’m a fictive in a polyfragmented system, I’m a silly little guy who’s here for a fun time not a long time so to speak. I want to make friends and have some sort of connection to others so that is why I made this! My pronouns are he/him! I love birds and swimming <3 i like dark content ✨ I will use uwu and owo unironically, message me to get to learn more 💖

The others in the system say that I seem almost out of it when speaking or like I’m loopy! Take that as you will ✨

We also have bpd and autism so also take that as you will.

Bodily we are an adult! I’d prefer everyone who talks to me to be older than 17!

Anyways I’ll probably put out a post in the fictive tags later <3 have a wonderful day lovelies!!

[niko-li]

Anyways me being crazy under the cut because yeah tw for like, violent thoughts I guess smh

Mostly doing it here cuz my most beloved and precious Fedya has every other account of mine due to me being a little simp half the time and me no want it’s system knowing I’m feeling this way right now or like, at all

I really am a really really jealous man. Like it’s so so so so so bad. I’m sitting here seething over their system doing stuff without me. But I know if I asked I’d be invited along but also! Me no wanna do what they’re up to! But it’s more than that. It’s so much more. I want specially my husband. No one else in their system even comes close to how it treats me in casual conversation nor in anything else or how physically affectionate it allows me to be without getting too upset and when it does get upset with me being bothersome it’s never dealt with in the same way. (It says because it feels some guilt over how it treated me in the past but eh I have feeling for that another day.) but I just want to sink my teeth in them and tear them apart and bite at them until they concede and ask me what is wrong with me. I want to rip them apart and I want to bash my skull into the wall because I also just want them to hold me in some way or form. Theyre unmedicated which makes them even less inclined to be physically affectionate and I should let them know it’s getting to the point I feel like I’m less than and that I’m undeserving of their touch. But for the time being I’m just waiting for them to realize that I am initiating everything. This will end in me breaking down about it eventually but, with everything going on currently I really don’t have the capacity to really care all that much to put in the time and effort it would take to make it right and figure out how to explain it in a way that makes sense. Because they are all overly sensitive currently due to being unmediated, and I’m overly irritable and easily frustrated due to being unmedicated myself.

I want to taste their blood so that I have half the chance of feeling their warmth be a part of me for longer than they’ve been touching me. I cannot for the life of me remember currently when was the last time they touched me first or that they cuddled up to me. And I’m trying so so so hard to be good. I just want to grab them and do so much to them but I also just want to shake them and then lay my head on them and scream.

I want my husband because even when unmediated he still looked at me first before moving on to other things. And maybe I’m self centered or whatever but I loved being seen by it and it alone. I miss being seen and I miss idk, just a lot. It’s been really tough and scary and I’m so tired of clawing at the walls around me in an attempt to pull myself above water, I’ve been doing nothing but drowning lately.

[niko-li]

Also I’m so so so sorry if you expect normalcy from me at allllll I know fictives aren’t their source but hehehehehehhe I am a Nikolai fictive and I’m a grade A and proud persecutor so like lmao. Sorry if I am a little off

[niko-li]

Hi guys

Again

Sorry I’ve been inactive life has been actual hell!

[niko-li]

Hi guys I’m so normal

[niko-li]

Niko forgetting tumblr exists as soon as he met someone who reminded him of Fyodor is kinda silly

Maybe I’ll remind him tumblr exists next time he decides to drag me to front with him, sorry to everyone he’s ignored or missed the message of

[niko-li]

What’s funnier:

Our Rimbaud who doesn’t know much of his memories but cries whenever he sees Verlaine

Or

Me who remembers very little other than my devotion to one person and my want to be free from the experience of being human

[niko-li]

@psychward-system

Of course ✨ I simply find it a bit funny how most of us are very 🌀 about our memories but just a few very clear memories we hold close and dear!

After all life is nothing but a game it seems! One tireless fight that is seeming to be never ending. Ah but what would we be without that? As much as I yearn to be free of that the alternative terrifies me.

But yes I am quite okay :3 just thinking unless you consider thinking to not be under the classification of “okay” but I think it would be!

[erotic-necrosis]

I'm glad you're okay. I hope y'all have a nice day/evening -O.D.

[niko-li]

You as well my friend!

[niko-li]

What’s funnier:

Our Rimbaud who doesn’t know much of his memories but cries whenever he sees Verlaine

Or

Me who remembers very little other than my devotion to one person and my want to be free from the experience of being human

[niko-li]

@psychward-system

Of course ✨ I simply find it a bit funny how most of us are very 🌀 about our memories but just a few very clear memories we hold close and dear!

After all life is nothing but a game it seems! One tireless fight that is seeming to be never ending. Ah but what would we be without that? As much as I yearn to be free of that the alternative terrifies me.

But yes I am quite okay :3 just thinking unless you consider thinking to not be under the classification of “okay” but I think it would be!

[niko-li]

What’s funnier:

Our Rimbaud who doesn’t know much of his memories but cries whenever he sees Verlaine

Or

Me who remembers very little other than my devotion to one person and my want to be free from the experience of being human

[niko-li]

Guys I miss Fyodor pwq

[niko-li]

Not me, a Dazai fictive, looking for friends. Cheesed to meet you Niko 🪤

-Algernon

Ohoho! An ask pleasure meeting you Algernon! Such an interesting name I’m trying to figure out how to say it. My dms are open if you wish to chat there if not I dont mind more asks my friend! A little bit of a cheesy greeting makes it all the better ^~^!!

[escapismsworld]

[hisenemy]

:3 >.< ^.^ :p :o :c ^_^ c:

[niko-li]

Hello there!

I’m a Nikolai fictive, my name is Niko but I consider it more of a nickname :3

I want to make friends again ✨ so my DM’s and asks are open if anyone would like to chat. I wish to meet sourcemates!!

My memories aren’t fully clear to me haha! But I do remember a few things. I remember Fyodor talking to me about Sigma right as soon as they joined the DOA, I admired his ability to seemingly disregard the fact that he seemed to only be using the poor boy. But guilt really does get us nowhere doesn’t it? Even if I do feel it quite a bit </3

We are an adult (19 at the time of making this post) so please do be 17+ if you decide to reach out.

Have a good day lovely people ✨