Screw Light And Breezy

[mermaidastrology]

The Zodiac Signs as Joe Exotic Quotes

Aries: I’m Joe Exotic, otherwise known as the Tiger King, the gay, gun-carrying redneck with a mullet.

Taurus: I’m never going to financially recover from this.

Gemini: I don’t think we’re done blowing shit up today.

Cancer: I’d shoot you before I’d shoot my cat.

Leo: People don’t come to see the tigers, they come to see me.

Virgo: This is my own little town. I’m the mayor, the prosecutor, the cop, and the executioner.

Libra: I’d like to introduce my wife, but my husband’s at home feeding my brand-new baby kangaroo.

Scorpio: She’ll never get a million dollars out of me. I don’t own anything.

Sagittarius: I’m outspoken, good looking, love to party and have fun.

Capricorn: It’s just two complete opposite, different worlds. You know, he’s a little more upscale, and I’m working with people who just got out of prison.

Aquarius: I am not changing the way I dress. I refuse to wear a suit. I am gay. I am broke as shit. I have a judgement against me from some bitch down there in Florida.

Pisces: I had my days of coke. I had my days of drinking. I had my days of…meth.

[davinky-deactivated20210909]

i ate an edible and saw cats 2019 and let me tell you i was NOT ready for the main cats name to be my name too and when one of those fuckers onscreen said my name i JUMPED

[davinky-deactivated20210909]

cats on a 50 ft tall screen: “VICTORIA!”

me, white-knuckle gripping my bfs forearm: “we have to go right now immediately or i am GOING to die.”

[reynoldsnbauer]

this is without a doubt THE funniest thing i have ever seen

[emperorclaudiusofficial]

please watch too hot to handle

[bikinibottomtwitter]

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

a collection of covid-19 tweets

(the tweet collection series)

[allgreysthings]

All of us completely dismissed this as a possibility cause we were like “Greys is stupid but they wouldn’t be THAT stupid” and correction apparently yes they are

[homomedia]

Validation from the king himself 😭🤟🏽

[no-chill-at-all]

[cirie-won-thirty-four]

I love lauren and cameron but also shout out to amber who went in with a gameplan of finding a man that will take care of her debts and homelessness in exchange for affection and excellent punan,and BY GOD did she execute! That military training did not go to waste!

[shitthatsbrazy]

Love is blind is a fucking mess, but Diamond didn’t dump Carlton for being bi, she literally wanted to talk and he came at her so fucking crazy. It wasn’t biphobia so chill wit that shit. He was sexist and misogynistic as soon as they got to Mexico throwing little fucking comments and he called her a bitch. Like she just wanted the facts🤦🏾‍♀️

[darling-stevie]

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i cant stop laughing

[localtiktoks]

[catchymemes]

[caden]

valentines day is a meaningless tradition invented by corporations so as to turn the act of love itself into a material commodity that can be bought and sold. this year i will not be participating in

[caden]

[argodeon]

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[crucifiedcatboy]