Pairing: Kim Sunwoo x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of Anxiety, Depression, Suicide
Plot: He cheated with you on your birthday and you're dealing with anxiety and depression
Three o'clock in the afternoon, you're alone and waiting for your boyfriend to come home. Sitting by the window side, watching the sun set slowly from the horizon.
Your head empty for the thoughts drowning in your mind and it's too much, it hurts. Everything has been too harsh on you.
"Still no message.." You thought as you checked your phone for the ninth time. You're hoping that he'd remember the day he saved you from ending your life exactly on your birthday. You're expecting- no, you're hoping. Hoping has been your last resort.
Two years, two years spent with him. When your eyes landed on his as he saved you from your fall off the bridge, you knew and you were sure, it was him. It was him that you'll fall in love with and you're not wrong. You fell and he caught you. He supported you, cared for you, embraced your weaknesses and accepted you.
You were so sure of him. He has been the half of your life. But you never realized, that it's only temporary. A year past and he changed. He's always out clubbing with his friends, making up any excuses for him not to come home. Just in a glance, he hated you.
You never expected that one day you'll wake up and the person who loved you will also be the person who'll destroy you. He shouted at you, cursed you, and abuses you. There was none you can do. You love him even if it's too much.
You snapped back into reality as your phone rang and displayed the caller ID of your best friend. You smiled and answered the call.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Honey, how are you? Are you enjoying your day?"
Tears formed in the corners of your eyes as you heard her soothing voice. It was with her where you found comfort.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you! The next time we'll meet up, I'll treat you on your favorite coffee shop so wipe your tears away and smile for me please!"
You smiled a bittersweet smile as you hoped that it was your boyfriend telling you these things, but it wasn't. You should be grateful that you still have your best friend. You wiped your tears as she said and calmed yourself.
"It's fine! I know you're a busy buddy and I understand that. You and your words are already enough for me!" You said in between your sobs. She knew you perfectly and you're thankful for that.
"I need to hung up now, okay? I'll call you again later! Take care and I miss you!" She said as she hung up the call. You smiled to yourself.
Your head turned towards the door way as the door creaked. Finally, he's home. Without any words, he passed by you and walked straight into your shared bedroom. You followed him as the obedient toy you are to him.
He picked up some spare clothes and entered the shower. You mustered up some courage and asked him.
"Where are you going?" You spoke out. Your voice was soft and low but you're sure he heard it.
"Hang out with friends. Don't wait for me to come home." Friends. Always friends. You rolled your eyes and picked up his phone. You opened it and a notification popped up.
"Babe, when are you coming?" You were stunned for a moment. You clicked the notification and entered his messages. Your heart dropped at this moment.
"What the hell are you doing with my phone?" He blurted out as he snatched his phone away from you. You only stared at him. Wide eyed, you opened your mouth but no words came out.
He dashed out of the room and you followed him.
"Since when?" Your voice was higher than usual and he could tell that you were mad- no, angry. He continued to walk away without a single word. You sped up to and grabbed his arm, making him face you.
"Since when?" You asked, in a soft voice, trying to compose yourself and not break your voice. He stared right into your eyes, piercing your soul.
"Ever since." Finally, he answered. He walked away as if nothing happened, slammed the door shut and left you speechless. Your emotions came back to you and tears streamed down your face.
"How could he? He's always lying and why didn't I noticed that? That's so stupid of me," You cried and fell onto your knees. Tears were pooling on the floor but you never cared. All you can think of right now was him, but it always has been him.
You were blinded. Blinded by the foolish love you had for him. You loved him the most and you never realized you were breaking apart from yourself. You stood up, head down and wiped your tears.
"Mom, dad, I think it's time for me to be with you. The pain has been too much for me to handle. Winners never quit you say, but please, it's too much." You said, tears drying up.
"I thought that I'll make it with him. I thought that I'll win this battle. But it was all mistake, even I, i myself is a mistake. I'm so sorry, let me be in peace and comfort." You said as you picked up your phone and slowly walked out of the house.
You blindly followed your footsteps to where it'll bring you. You never cared about anyone around you. You're finding for peace.
You raised your head and your eyes met the sky. The colors of sunset was painted all over the horizon. It's getting darker by any minute. You never felt any emotion. You were broken, and empty.
You stood beside the railings of the bridge. You admired how the sun glistened onto the waters of the river below. You couldn't smile but you knew you were happy inside. This has been the scenery your hoping for. This is where you'll find your peace.
You opened you phone and dialled his number.
"Let me talk to you for last, I need to hear your voice." You said, tearing up. You can hear moans in the background and you were sure he's sleeping with another girl.
"Make it fast and don't waste my time." He said, simply uninterested.
"I thought that I should call you to say thank you for everything you've done for me. You knew what I am dealing with yet you saved me. It was two years ago when you caught me in your arms that day and finally in my life, I felt safe and secured. You wrapped your arms around me as if I mean the whole world to you, and I thank you for that." You tried so hard to not tear up."
"Even if you changed, I know that you're still the man that I loved and hoped to be with after so many years but I won't be able to be there for you for tomorrow and the next days, months, and years. It's all coming to an ending scene."
"But before it close, I just wish that you'll find happiness and peace in your living. I hope that you'll find someone that'll make you happy when your sad and be there with you for better or for worse. Please remember my name, remember it after many years even as your friend." At this point, he was annoyed. He's annoyed that his confused with your words. There's something wrong and he's sure of it."
"Say hello to the moon and stars for me." You said and hung up the call.
You stared into the sky hovering the earth as you let yourself fall free from the bridge.
And when your back felt the water, you closed your eyes, knowing that you'll never open it again.
On the other side, he was confused. He dressed up and picked up his phone. He knew something was wrong.
"Babe, what the hell?" The women he's fucking with was frustrated. The atmosphere was lost and she's hating it but he didn't care. He walked out of the room and checked his phone.
He scanned over his notifications and he saw it.
His eyes widened. Guilt washing up all over him. He get into his car and drove straight home. He couldn't care about the traffic and street violations he has done. All he think about was you.
He knew you were suffering from depression and anxiety yet what he did was inhumane. He left you alone on you birthday and fucked with some random girl he met in the bar. He's nervous, he's worried that something bad happened to you.
As he parked the car in the driveway, he dashed out and entered the house. He shouted your name in frustration. He also noticed the broken picture of yours scattered on the floor. That added up onto his worries.
He checked every room, he checked every cornerof the house, but he couldn't find you. When he was about to give up, he stared into the calendar in front of him.
'It was two years ago when you caught me in your arms that day and finally in my life,'
Your voice echoed into his head. Two years, two years passed, two years ago, it was when he saved you from your fall.
"Fuck," It was all he muttered. He ran back into the car and hoped that his memory would bring him back to where it all started.
When he reached the place, it was still the same. With the scenery of green and the dark sky getting filled with shining stars slowly and the moon glistening into the waters. The only difference is that he couldn't find you standing beside the railings of the bridge. He ran as fast as he could hoping that he'll do you, that you're still somewhere near.
He shouted your name, again, and again, and again until his voice gave out. When he reached the exact place where he could remember you standing, his eyes teared up. He reached out for your phone and clutched it near his chest.
He knew that he's too late for you now. He stared at the stars and the moon shining brightly. His tears streamed down his cheeks. He was out of breath, he fall onto his knees and muttered,
"You found your peace without me."