GLEE

in her better and bitter days

[ninjaglee]

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[ninjaglee]

someday

Someday I’ll have kids. We’d go on road trips and then we’d stop over at McDonald’s to get chicken nuggets. My husband, my great love, would laugh at how our little Daniel makes our little Mia cry over the little things. Someday I’ll have a family of my own and someday all the bad things that I’m going through right now wouldn’t even matter. ❤

[ninjaglee]

I dreamt of you again.

It felt so real. You felt so real.

But then I woke up and realized it was just another false alarm.

I miss you. 

[ninjaglee]

It's time to grow up.

[ninjaglee]

I hate how we have to stop loving someone just because they can't love us back.

[ninjaglee]

like time suspended, a wound unmended- you and i. we had no ending, no said goodbye. for all my life, i'll wonder why. —lang leav

[ninjaglee]

Some do drugs while others go for a run but, in the end, we're all just searching for a tiny space, perhaps a hole, that gives us shelter from the terrible reality of this messy world. And I'm happy to have found my own tiny space, a hole, my a**hole; you.

[ninjaglee]

The saddest part about giving up is realizing he won't stop you from leaving.

[ninjaglee]

Sometimes I sit by the window and ponder about what good things I must have done in my past life to deserve you.

[ninjaglee]

"I need space."

Took me five pints of salted caramel ice cream to find out that I've cried enough. Took me three weeks to realize you're no longer somebody I can call mine. Took me a long time to find out you didn't really break up with me because you needed space. Took me forever to realize that you gave me "I need space." as a reason because it's better for me to hear that from you instead of, "I don't want you anymore. You aren't special to me anymore. I don't love you as much as I did back then." Don't worry, it wouldn't take me too long to move on. Maybe all I have to do is cry once or twice. Or maybe a couple of hundred times.

[ninjaglee]

I hope, in time, you’ll see how hard it was for me to say goodbye.

[ninjaglee]

You only need me when you miss her.

[ninjaglee]

But now your kisses belong to her.

[ninjaglee]

I hope you remember me.

I hope you remember me; my smile, my laugh, my kiss, and my love. I hope you remember me; how I looked at you the day I said I loved you too, how I laughed at every joke you said even if I wished you never had to joke again, and how I hugged you when all I ever wanted was to kiss you. I hope you remember me; me. Not the pain I caused you when I left. Me and not the tears you've shed when I said goodbye. Me and not the blank stares of my eyes. Me and not the sadness of our last togetherness. I hope you remember me; how I made you feel when you see my name on your inbox, how I made you scream when we rode that scary ride at the carnaval, how I made you cry because of the spicy dish I cooked on your birthday, and how I loved you so dearly it would hurt so much if I let you go. I hope you remember me. I, really do, hope you remember. I hope you haven't forgotten 'cause guess what? I think I never will.

[ninjaglee]

Will you still love me in the morning?

(Click, 2006)

[ninjaglee]

And then, just like that, you said your last hello.

[ninjaglee]

I'm sorry

Took me some time to realize that if I really meant the world to you, things wouldn’t turn out to be this confusing, heart breaking, and suffocating. I love you too much that I’m willing to let go of what we have.

No more sleepless nights thinking about how we’re going to get through all the heartless comments of some unwanted company and the harsh made-up stories by people who do not seem to understand that love knows neither place nor age.

Baby, I swear I meant it when I said I’d do it all just so you could stay with me but, believe me, this is all I am able to give.

One day when we meet again, and if our love still remains, I hope people won’t pay attention any longer and I hope I could be stronger; strong enough to stay and fight for a love that I once lost.

You are my most treasured possession, darling. You are my one and only true joy. You are the man I’d always dream of waking up to and the same man I’d always dream of holding my child in his arms.

Too bad, this time, the chance of making that dream come true is no longer placed on our hands but on destiny instead. You know I hate it when you speak of destiny and fate because I always thought it’s all choices. But things change, my love, things do change.

So when you wake up and read this with that cup of coffee you always love to drink, read this again. You’re not dreaming. I’m really calling us off.

Not because I don’t love you anymore but because I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired and I guess it’s just too unfair for you if I continue to stay when I know I can’t give you my all.

I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry for not being strong enough. I’m sorry for being tired. I’m sorry for saying goodbye. I’m so sorry for writing my last love letter for you. I’m so sorry for loving you too much that I’m willing to let go of what we have.

Please smile for me. Please keep that bright smile I fell for. Smile even without me.

Remember, you’ll always be in my heart; always and forever will be my soulmate.

I love you, one last time.