Study Aesthetics

[ninjajellycat]

have you ever picked up a book you haven't read in a while, and found an old bookmark in it? because that happened to me the other day. I found a card that you gave to me when I left, and inside it was the closest thing you ever came to a confession

so yeah, fuck you. I'm fucking angry.

because we were best friends for so many years and then I had to go and ruin it all by falling for you. Except that's not it. I don't think I was the only one. Maybe I'm lying to myself maybe I'm delusional I don't know. But you wanted people to think we were together and you would flirt and touch and take me out and it just felt like you were trying to tell me something. And then when we went to that museum and you asked to smell my lipgloss I don't know what the fuck that was. And the fucking dancing and the fucking card that I found in my book last week? And all that time I was aching every time we spoke. Fuck.

And then yeah I left but you left too. we texted and called and everytime we hung up I would cry and I still can't quite figure out why. And we drifted and you pissed me off and it wasn't the same when we saw eachother again at Christmas. And again and again throughout spring and now it's July and I'm still not fucking over it.

Sometimes I think, shall i just call you and tell you and shout at you and confess? And see if you would do the same? Maybe one day. Maybe when it doesn't hurt anymore (will it ever not hurt anymore?)

and now, you text me and you say, let's get together, let's spend some time, I haven't seen you in so long. But then you flake and you don't respond and I don't even know what your endgame is now. Do you even want to see me? I'm not sure if I want to see you.

And I mourn what we had because you were my best friend. And I think a part of me will always feel the way I did. The way I do. But I also know that we weren't good together. And I'm trying to get over it all, to just fucking move on. I don't know if it's working.

But for now, you haven't replied to me when I asked if you were still up for tomorrow. It's almost midnight and you know I don't do last minute plans. Or maybe you don't know that. I definitely don't know you anymore. I'm so fucking angry and I still don't know what the anger is hiding. I can't figure out how I really feel and maybe it's my fault but it's also definitely your fault.

We'll just have to see.

[ninjajellycat]

hey, hey - it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay. i know you’re sad but look - it’s raining! why don’t you go for a little walk, maybe listen to some jazz while you’re at it. maybe turn your wifi off for a bit - oh, you might see a cat or a pretty flower! and then you can have a cup of tea or a biscuit, and it will feel a little bit better i promise. it’s gonna be fine, i love you

[ninjajellycat]

having friends and you spend all your time together and you watch movies and eat pizza and go dancing and pile into lectures together and you know they'll come to the library with you as long as there's iced coffee and you cook for each other and you laugh and I just love my friends so much

[ninjajellycat]

it's new years eve and you're with your friends and it's not wild, no alcohol, just a crappy takeaway and a movie and chatting into the night. He's playing softly on the guitar and she's helping you wash up and you cuddle on the sofa and play cards and laugh at each other in the best way. You wave goodbye just after midnight, already making plans to go to the beach tomorrow and you think - this is it. It doesn't matter how long it lasts because right here, right now, you've found a family

[ninjajellycat]

and nectarines and sheet music and warm blankets and homemade cookies and candles and pearls and libraries and sharing tangerines and laughing with friends and disco lights and sea glass and oohohoohhoooo

[ninjajellycat]

falling back in love w life

i love you green tea i love you CDs i love you box dyes i love you wired headphones i love you train journeys i love you taylor swift i love you fairy lights i love you painted nails i love you friendship necklaces i love you postcards i love you turkish delight i love you i love you i love you 

[ninjajellycat]

dw guys im over it now

[ninjajellycat]

types of people // trees

oak: the silent one, bitter coffee, reliable, navy blue, newspaper cuttings on a wall, quiet observation, dark chocolate, moss and ivy, mud on hands

apple: making their friends laugh, sparkly jewellery, messy hair, freshly baked pies, quick smiles, stubborn, upbeat music, running to catch the bus

willow: beautiful poetry, long hair, flowing dress, smoothies, hospitable, kind eyes, a rare smile, dipping your toes in the river, cloud-gazing, chipped nail paint

palm: bare feet, ice-cold lemonade, laying on the ground to soak up the sun, comforting hugs, the smell of warmth, sugary treats, sand in the air

cherry blossom: silver jewellery, stopping to smell the flowers, green tea, whistling a tune, light footsteps, kisses on cheeks, nude lip stick, a laugh like wind chimes

[ninjajellycat]

sunrise over the sea

cornwall ~ 5:56am

[ninjajellycat]

i just wanna like, run away to paris with a pretty girl and get a job as a waitress and a shoebox apartment, and wake up next to the love of my life and we walk along the seine and drink coffee in a beautiful cafe and

i just want to live,  you know?

[fairytalepages]

## tag yourself !! ♡

my fave drinks edition :)

apple juice - birthday kisses, personalised friendship bracelets, ‘have you got games on your phone?’, lip gloss collections, colourful shoelaces, making sure everyone’s included, strawberries, terrified of rollercoasters but rides them to impress you [song: red flavor, red velvet]

black coffee - soft hair, train tickets, guarded smiles, empty streets, tired eyes, city lights at 3am, travel addict & a little bit lost inside, huge hoodies, petting every dog they see, will always be there for you but doesn’t let on when they’re lonely [song: i love you, charsi]

peach iced tea - cute nails, never replies, reptiles are friends, neat study notes, gold jewellery, lowkey intimidating but secretly cares a lot, loves the night, doesn’t trust easily, haircare routines, the ‘perfect’ friend, a little broken hearted & a head full of secrets [song: handmade heaven, marina]

chocolate milk - fluffy jackets, bitten nails, tiny hands, doc martens, soft but obsessed with horror movies & afraid of no man, loves thrillers, mismatched socks, no makeup, kind to everyone but likes to be alone, always asking for hairties [song: pdlif, bon iver]

coca cola - headphones in, intense eye contact, cynic, kicking pebbles along the road, eyeliner, sitting in the car alone to let the song finish, not interested in dating, all nighters, candy addict, the one everyone wants to be/date [song: i think you’re really cool, guardin]

[ninjajellycat]

types of people // favourite drinks

[faezier-moved-deactivated202102]

types of people

honey: glowing smile, painting on random objects, flower print clothes, wants to travel the world, would die for their friends

stardust: clumsy, big sweaters, crazy sweet tooth, always reading a book, a few very close friends, likes to get lost in the woods on purpose

picnic: daydreaming, corduroy overalls, dancing 24/7, homemade jewelry, selfies,  probably has a lot of pets, mysteriously good at singing

poetry: lacy socks, pressed flowers, voice like butter, flowy sundresses, strawberries, shy smiles, collector of small objects

dew: scented candles, contagious laugh, loves halloween, converse shoes, never stops smiling, mismatched clothing

vanilla: dreamy eyes, plants, falls in love fast, rainy mornings, pet names, soft hair, incense, neutral colors

tea: protective mom friend, very fond of cuddling, homemade bread, constantly buying gifts for people, talkative, will hold your hand whenever and wherever

[ninjajellycat]

which one are you?

[ninjajellycat]

I like your username, its super cute.

Thankyou!!! it was inspired by this picture:

also i bet ur name is amazing as well :)

[ninjajellycat]

Types of people // Aesthetics

Gothic: tall church spires, long hair, eyeliner, heart beating fast, brisk walks in the snow, exploring at 3 am, road trips, beaches at night

Cottagecore: knitting socks for your friends, dirt under the fingernails, a tanned face, straw hats, baking pies, cinnamon, warm embraces

Pastel: meaningful smiles, flower crowns, fairy lights, organised, always willing to help, long walks on a sunny day, green tea, soft hair

Punk: attitude but they love you, fast walking, stompy boots, up all night, loud music, drawing on a friend’s hand, never sitting down for long, 

[riveatstoes]

one of the most magical things i can describe is that feeling when you look at yourself, like, actually look at yourself, and realize that you’re beautiful. that you’re not as ugly as you and the world have made you feel you are. that nobody should be allowed to treat you bad for things that you shouldn’t have to feel bad about — such as your weight, face, height, your hair, etc. you have the right to feel beautiful and i can’t believe it took until yesterday for me to realize that for myself.

[ninjajellycat]

Types of People // Flowers

Primrose: fresh cut grass, foraging for berries, hot drinks with rain outside, bare feet and cosy jumpers, messy hair

Dandelion: fairy lights, fresh cold air, cinnamon, home baking, calling friends for hours, hoping for snow, tidy desk

Lavender: trendy shoes, sunglasses, chic but insecure, dancing to the radio, quick grins, dyed hair

Tulip: constantly chatting, kind eyes, green tea, knitting socks, walking through dewy grass, singing while studying

[ninjajellycat]

sometimes i’m sunshine - they turn their faces to bathe in my light as i seduce them with my shining glow, but run or get hurt when i stop holding myself back

other times, i’m a storm. i am mysterious and admired from afar, but they fear me at my true power. i am too loud, too bright, but still never enough

the times i like best are when i am the rain. most hide to avoid my downpour, but there are those who dance with me and see my torrential beauty                      those ones, who look up to the sky and                                     smile at the water pouring down from the heavens                                                    they are the ones i love