Pixie

Member of a Nordic nudist cult called The Finns.

[dekaja]

RAHUL KOHLI as ARJUN DEVRAJ

SAROS (2026) ☼ dev. Housemarque

[nirhauma]

After playing Returnal (the main ending, the alternative/extra ending and credits roll in the DLC) I was excited about Saros but it looks a lot like Returnal. Even the map looks kind of identical. Mmmmmeh. I know I’m gonna play it but mmmmmeh.

[nirhauma]

While waiting for Saros to release I replayed Returnal last week to refresh that muscle memory. Saros came out on the 30th and the gameplay seemed very similar – or pretty much the same to me. I skipped all the tutorials and just started playing, not paying attention to the skill tree or what all the numbers on the HUD meant. I thought I’d figure it out as I played. I noted that while Returnal didn’t have a parry function they had now introduced a shield but as I had become pretty good at dodging bullets I decided the shield was for losers and that I was gonna be fine. I was fine for a long time. But I just found the 7th boss and now I started to feel like maybe the shield is actually necessary so I checked out the tutorials which told me that you’re supposed to catch certain bullets with the shield and that those bullets then power another important weapon. I knew I had a Power Weapon but it seemed useless because it never worked when I needed it. Obviously. Because I never collected the resource needed to power it but instead I had been literally dodging money. I also just learned that you can get rid of armour corruption by using this Power Weapon. I know I’m an impatient gamer but this clusterfuck is a new achievement level. Or maybe it’s a bit of a flex that I survived this long.

I know they said that Saros was going to be a little bit easier or at least more approachable than Returnal but I found myself disagreeing. I may need to rethink my position now that I have all these “new” features.

[nirhauma]

how have you two made it work, made it last?

I get what you're asking, but honestly, I don't think we've made it last because that implies something had to be actively done or that effort was required to be where we are. As tedious as it sounds, I think we've simply been incredibly lucky to have met each other. We've gone through a lot, and while that's sometimes been mentally exhausting, it has never negatively affected how we feel about each other. Since the very beginning, there have never been any questions between us. We know this is for life, and that allows us to be honest and passionate with each other because… there is no way out.

I can name factors that have probably made it a little easier, but since there is no parallel universe to compare it to, I don't know for sure whether these things matter or not.

We're free people. We're not part of a family or a culture (or a cult, lol) that would bind us somehow. We both have more than one citizenship. We don't have children. What I mean is that we're independent and free in this world to do whatever we want and live wherever we want without being responsible to anyone else. Whatever we decide happens between us.

We're privileged when it comes to work and money. The only conflict we used to have was Foxy wanting to pay for everything and thinking that I didn't have enough money, but that's settled now.

Being physically somewhat incompatible has caused us stress and many fiery arguments, but honestly, I wouldn't change anything. It's never boring because it can't be.

I have no idea what a break-up would even look like for us. I don't know what the reason for that could be even if I speculate for the sake of this question.

[nirhauma]

When someone shows you a picture on their phone we do agree that you look at the picture, you don't touch the phone, you don't attempt to zoom and you definitely don't start swiping. Right? And if you fuck up and see something that you find traumatising it's on you.

[nirhauma]

How old were you when you met Foxy? If you didn’t meet him at all or didn’t meet him at that time, do you think you’d be married to someone else now? (I’ve followed your and Foxy’s blogs for over a decade giving me such a lovely feeling of nostalgia and wonder when I check out you blogs every now and then. You two are my faves of whole Tumblr)

Hi, I hope you're well.

I was 30.

When we met, I was living in London, expecting to stay for six months and then return to Finland. I already had a flight booked when he disrupted my plans but if I had not met Foxy I definitely would have gone back home. I certainly wouldn’t be married because I never liked the idea of marriage. The reasons that led me – not necessarily to change my mind, but to be flexible in that moment – had to do with living abroad and, above all, with him as a person.

[nirhauma]

This may have been one of the funniest and the most creative Christmas present I’ve ever received. In early December I told him that I dreamed about having a single egg. I’m mostly vegan and haven’t eaten industrially produced animal products – including eggs – for many years. On December 23rd, Foxy brought me 60 eggs in a blue Ikea bag and wished me a Happy Christmas.

In Finland, there is a program called the Finnish Landrace Chicken Conservation Program (Suomalaisen maatiaiskanan säilytysohjelma). The Finnish landrace chicken is a native/indigenous breed that was believed to have gone extinct during the last century. However, some populations were found, and thanks to this conservation program, the breed still exists today. Private individuals can apply to participate in the program. There are strict regulations regarding the chickens’ living conditions and typically people keep them in their backyards. They are pets, they have names and are allowed to live freely, leading species-appropriate lives, and selective breeding based on even colour is prohibited; the only goal is to ensure the survival of the species and to maintain genetic diversity. Eggs are a by-product and if there are more eggs than the chicken-keeper needs or has use for they may sell them to outsiders.

I don’t know how to cook or bake so the gift also came with a handsome red-haired chef who has so far made me a lemon cake and an omelet.

Amazing.

[nirhauma]

Are you a gamer??

My two most important possessions are my horse and my PS5.

[billy-crudup]

<RISE AND SHINE> <THE SIBLING HAS GONE ROGUE/FISHING> <YOU’RE UP>

CONTROL RESONANT Coming 2026

[nirhauma]

I'm so excited. Control (2019) is one of my favourite games and this looks awesome.

[dekaja]

RAHUL KOHLI as ARJUN DEVRAJ

SAROS (2026) ☼ dev. Housemarque

[nirhauma]

After playing Returnal (the main ending, the alternative/extra ending and credits roll in the DLC) I was excited about Saros but it looks a lot like Returnal. Even the map looks kind of identical. Mmmmmeh. I know I’m gonna play it but mmmmmeh.

[nirhauma]

The horse riding accident is a gift that still keeps on giving. I needed surgery on my jaw and now some occlusal adjustment. It took two hours and in the end my bite felt great – and then I was handed a mirror. The dentist goes: "It looks a bit different". You don't say. I have proper vampire fangs. She promised she could try to reshape them a little next week but for the time being I will call her My Maker.

[nirhauma]

Guys. She couldn’t shave them down that much without sacrificing the function of the composite build-up. I’m so upset I’m gonna bite someone. 😭

[nirhauma]

The horse riding accident is a gift that still keeps on giving. I needed surgery on my jaw and now some occlusal adjustment. It took two hours and in the end my bite felt great – and then I was handed a mirror. The dentist goes: "It looks a bit different". You don't say. I have proper vampire fangs. She promised she could try to reshape them a little next week but for the time being I will call her My Maker.

[wordsinfinnish-blog]

The many meanings of Vittu, the most common Finnish swear word:

vittu - “cunt”

vittu! - ”fuck!”

vitut. - ”fuck it”

vitut! - “bullshit!”

vitun - “fucking”

vitusti - “a lot of/much”

vittua? - “what the fuck?”

vitus? - “why the fuck?”

vittuilla - “fuck with”

vituttaa - “I’m pissed off”

vittumainen - “fucking annoying”

vittumaisuuttaan - “out of pure dickishness”

It is also a filler word, that can be vittu used at vittu any point in a vittu sentence.

[nirhauma]

“The relationship you two have gives me hope.”

I’ve received some variation of this message more than a hundred times. I’m worried. There is no hope, and this isn’t normal. I have to keep secrets from my best friend because she’s with “one of the good ones” and I still can’t let her know what I have for fear of unintentionally ruining what she has. Men are like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. I’m sure that if you search through all of it you will find one diamond ring but that shouldn’t be a reason for you to marry a plastic bag full of seawater and disposable cutlery. I would never have married this plastic bag if I had known what men are like, what my actual odds were, and whatever happens to him or to us I will never remarry, because the probability of this happening twice is zero. And I would never accept anything less than what I have now.

Men aren’t allowed to see us as people, and you can’t be devoted to someone you don’t see as a person. It’s always fake. Men will prioritise their standing in the homosocial hierarchy even if they genuinely think they’re feminists and believe they’re willing to die on that hill. Just as the force of an army is never tested during peacetime, a male feminist will never have to show his hand as long as he isn’t pushed to his absolute limits – those limits being the respect of other men. If he senses that he’s sliding down that hill, he will abandon ship, let you drown and make excuses for why his feet are still dry.

I lost a childhood friend not long ago. He made a benign-sounding comment about women’s body count. Foxy spoke to him for 30 seconds, and that was enough to ruin his social life, because his ego was shattered by a man higher up in the hierarchy and because that’s all men have in the end, he couldn’t recover. A man I’d known since we were four years old, whom I considered one of my best friends, left and never contacted me again. The apologist in me felt uncomfortable for days, and that tiny voice kept saying “was it absolutely necessary to crush him like that, he was my childhood friend after all.” So I had to ask. I know you love swatting flies, but couldn’t you have spared my friend? No, because a man who spends time with me alone, has my phone number and access to me, and then says something like that needs to be tested, and he didn’t survive. Yeah. That was the only true test my friend ever went through in his life, and his remains drifted away like smoke. He was one of the good ones.

I could never be with someone who isn’t a raging misandrist, because I would fall apart the first time I had to educate a man about misogyny, and the only way to avoid that is to be with someone who distrusts men even more and won’t hesitate to sink with me and doesn’t flinch when other men turn on him. You don’t find these guys. Or this one time I did, but it’s just him and five other men and they're all probably spoken for. If you’re planning to marry a man, I hope this message finds you well.

[nirhauma]

I can’t believe how naive Foxy can sometimes be. He thinks women who ask for his number want to be friends with him. Then he’s always genuinely disappointed and offended when the vibe of their messages becomes suggestive and smutty and just now he’s hissing ‘why are all people like this?!’

[nirhauma]

Six years later still not much of a learning curve. A woman he met at the gym asked him out for coffee after they'd been working out together for a few months. He showed me all their messages to each other and I tried to break it to him gently that she was not a friend but was obviously desperate to suck his cock. They went out and he just came home. "She wasn't my friend." FOXY. Freckles. Darling. 🥺

[thememedaddy]

[nirhauma]

I surrendered.

For almost two decades I tried to stand my ground, but in the end I could no longer fight back every single day. He has always wanted to be the homemaker and do everything by himself. I, on the other hand, have always been an independent Nordic woman who believes household chores should be shared equally. Yet for reasons I never fully understood, he cannot bear the sight of me doing housework. If I so much as reach for a cloth to wipe the dining table, he will instantly interject: “Honey, just leave it, I’ll take care of it.”

After my riding accident last year I spent weeks in the hospital, and many months afterwards unable to walk on my own. During that time he did everything – he kept the household running, took care of me, oversaw my rehabilitation, and even looked after my horse. Of course he never rejoiced in my condition, but during those months he seemed calmer, somehow more at ease, even a little happier, relieved perhaps that I was no longer demanding responsibilities.

When I finally regained my physical independence, our division of labor had already been completely lopsided for a long time. Still, I decided not to say anything or even lift a finger – simply to see what would unfold. And so he continued to carry the whole weight of our daily life alone and seemed to be completely in his element.

I have no responsibilities in our household. I am not a messy person, and naturally I clean up after myself, load my dishes into the dishwasher, and take my clothes to the laundry room. But that's the extent of it. He asks me what I want to eat, does the grocery shopping, cooks the meals, does my laundry, returns them neatly to my wardrobe, changes the bed sheets, cleans the flat, and pays every bill. I spend my own money only on my horse and on personal purchases. Otherwise, I’m just a pretty little flower for him to water.

A year earlier I had already given in on another front, allowing him to take my surname – a thing I had resisted for so long. Even that seemed to fill him with a quiet joy I had not foreseen.

So, I gave up and let it be. And I wish I had done so earlier.

[user5018-deactivated20251012]

[veryverytemporary]

Lunar eclipse from Finland by Niko Laurila, September 2025.