a ferret making a nest
i need this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this
must… aim… butt… correctly…

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Misplaced Lens Cap
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@nkysjcloveforever
a ferret making a nest
i need this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this
must… aim… butt… correctly…
this is WILD
I WENT INTO ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK
A TINY, FEARLESS LEADER
C’MON GUYS
Jenna making everyone feel like they have a low IQ
Just a reminder that even though she makes silly videos on YouTube, this girl also has a masters degree from a top rate university.
How come this is the first time I’m seeing this I love her
Look at all the other whites faces… they so shook
Maxwell has anger management issues
he fucking killed her
this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it
There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.
It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.
Emmy Award Winning™️
I FOUND IT AGAIN.
Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.
THE PUREST THING
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”
Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”
When you’re a duck and have places to be, but safety is key
rabbits only flop over like that if they feel completely safe btw
to elaborate: bunnies are prey animals and almost never have their guard down– even when they’re resting they’ll usually have their back legs in a position that allows them to quickly run away. if they’re jumping around it means they’re extremely happy!! and if they flop down w/o a care that means they feel very very comfortable and safe to the point of not having to worry about their surroundings. ^__^
This is just the happiest video IMO.
“PLAY! FUN! Happy! Play?” *looks at dog* “No, no play? Naps? Okay. Naps.” *flop*
oh she got a wig on?
How you make a 30 second masterpiece about grilled cheese.
Bitch I’m wet
Why is this cinematically better than like actual movies?
Or am I just fat?
(The new working title of my memoirs)
Why steal porn when you can just watch this?
Lmao thought he was gonna kiss her on her forehead
I am fucking SCREECHING
:^)
u kno sometimes u just gotta accept ur a different kind of pretty.. and when ya look at pretty girls u think r prettier than u… u just gotta say to urself.. no they arent… theyre just a different kind of pretty…
…. I don’t fear God, but I do fear the automatic stapler in the staff room
“fuck”
That small but heartfelt “fuck” brings this whole video together.